Brilliance
by JustineNicole6
Summary: Successful fashion writer, Bella Swan, leads a life of promiscuity, taking from men only what she can't get elsewhere. Will Edward save Bella from her lonely life? Or will her past become too much to bear, leaving Edward in the dust?
1. Chapter 1

**All c****haracter names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**Thank you to the glamorous Red for being the best beta a girl could ask for.**  
**My friends, you know who you are, and I thank you. :-*  
**

**Chapter One - BPOV  
**

Ah, I just love to bask in the glow of a one night stand. Yes, I realize this makes me sound like a slut. Well, let's be honest, I kind of am. I wasn't always this way, but that is a tale for a later time. Back to the task at hand; I need to sneak out of here without waking this guy up. I think he'll be out for a while, but I should exercise caution. I don't want to deal with any "morning after" awkwardness.

It is common knowledge that women are always pressing for something _more._ Right? That's what everyone is always going on about? Well, let me be the first to say, it's not just women who behave as such. I've been with my fair share of men and I will set the record straight: Men have the same basic insecurities, needs and desires that women do. It's true. A shocker, I know.

Ever so carefully, I lift…Bill? Brad? No, Brian, yeah, that's right, Brian's arm from my breasts. Wow, he really sweats a lot. Slowly, I slip from the silk sheets, turn and place my toes on the hardwood floor. As I stand, I turn and look back at the man who was my thirtieth, a milestone lay. I'm studying Brian while he sleeps. He's pretty hot. Not that I purposely choose only good looking guys; they just happen to frequent my night spots. Man, I'd love to take a shower before calling a cab home. He's hot, but I'm insanely sweaty. Yuck. I tiptoe across to the corner of the luxurious bedroom in Brian's penthouse, to pick up my clothes. I don't even bother with my panties or bra; I shove them into my purse after slipping my dress over my head. Ghosting across the room towards the door, I stop to blow a kiss to the sleeping man, hoping I'll never see him again.

"Bella!"

I turn toward the sound of my name being called. "Hey, Alice! Where did you disappear to last night?"

"Did you not see that gorgeous hunk that was buying me drinks all night?"

"You're sure he was legal, babe?"

"Oh, you're such a shit! That only happened one time!" Alice smacks my arm, with more force than one might think could come from someone her size.

Alice is my best friend. We grew up in the same foster home from the tender age of fifteen until we graduated. We were both at the top of our class at Phoenix High School. Alice is a slight pixie of a woman, with hair as black as pitch, her bright blue eyes that can pierce through all the bullshit. She was in gymnastics all through her youth, giving her a sense of balance and strength that is remarkable. That was before her parents died and she became a ward of the state. With no living relatives, she came to live in the same foster home where I had been for a year. We were fast friends, sharing the attic bedroom. Victoria was our bitch of a foster mother and James was her husband. The second we got our diplomas we ran for the hills.

Seattle seemed like a good place to lose ourselves. Alice and I attended an art school in Seattle, graduated with honors and now both work for a high-end fashion magazine called, _Glitz_. Alice works in the editing end of the business, and I am focused on the writing. Fashion is our whole world. We worked our way through school and worked hard. It was an intense four years, living on campus, working our tails off, so we could get where we knew we deserved to be. Lucky for us both, we are intelligent and naturally driven. Alice always knew she wanted to be involved in the fashion world. I, on the other hand, was introduced to it by her. It became a passion that consumed us. That is how we came to be so successful in our careers.

Alice and I have very different personalities, but we do seem to complement each other. While Alice likes to stand out and take charge, I tend to hold back more. However, in our sexual exploits we are basically one and the same. Our general idea is to find some guy in a bar, get him to buy us a drink or two, head back to his place and fuck all night. Then we leave. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but that's our typical M.O. There aren't many guys who would dare to complain, but there have been a fair few.

"I still don't know how you managed to find the one guy in there who was under—"

"Let me stop you right there, sister! He was legal. Eighteen is legal. I mean, c'mon you didn't notice he was that young! You thought he was hot, too!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, new subject," I grumble at her good naturedly. "So how was your latest conquest last night?"

"Oh my gosh, Bella! I honestly don't know what to do about this one! I was sneaking out this morning and ran into the restroom to take care of necessities. When I came out, there he was, getting my phone number from my cell! He programmed his in, too, of course. My first thought was to immediately throw the phone out, but then he sent me such a sweet text…" She trails off and I see a dreamy look come to her angelic face.

_ Holy shit__! You have got to be kidding me! No. No! _No! My thoughts fly frantically through my brain. I immediately start twisting my ponytail through my fingers.

Trying to hide the quiver in my voice, I say, "Wow, he must be a hell of a good lay. I would have thought you'd have disconnected that number by now. "

"I don't know, Bells; maybe going on an actual date wouldn't be such a bad idea." She looks through those thick, black lashes at me. I can see it in her eyes, she's pleading with me.

I sigh, "No, I guess you're right, Ally. It's not going to hurt anyone."

_Except maybe you._ I just don't want any harm to come to my best friend.

We turn the corner, on our way to the office, when something catches my eye. I see a brilliant shining light.


	2. Chapter 2

**All Character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and ****themes belong to JustineNicole.**

**Red, you damn genius, you! I couldn't-and shouldn't!-do this without you, so thank you. :)**

**My girls, feel the love. 3  
**

**Chapter Two - BPOV**

I stagger just a bit.

_What in the world was that?__ It must have just been a glare off an opening door, but wow! That was just about blinding._

"Bella? Are you alright?" Alice looks at me, concerned.

I nod, feeling just a little off kilter for a second.

"Let's go, then. We're almost late!"

"Wh—oh yeah, yeah, let's get moving." I shake my head, trying to clear the white lights dancing before my eyes.

The day wears on and I forget all about the bright light.

It's lunch time now and I'm worried afresh about Alice. We've talked and talked about how relationships just aren't realistic. For us, especially.

Alice flits into my office wanting to know where we're going for lunch today. Just as she opens her mouth to suggest Thai, again, my assistant comes in with salads for both of us. I had Jessica run down to our favorite deli. I want to stay in and talk more about this "sweet" text from her latest fuck.

"Oh! Thanks so much, Jessica!" My assistant places the food on a small table in the corner of my office. I wait for her to close the door, before turning to Alice. I motion for her to take a seat. We eat in comfortable silence for a while. I am steeling myself to bring up my doubts.

I push my plate away from myself, unable to wait any longer.

"Alright, girl, spill your guts. I want to know what made you momentarily lose your mind. I have half a mind to take your phone and disconnect it myself."

"Chill, Bella. You just don't understand! It was different with Jasper!"

"He has a name?"

"Yes, his name is Jasper Hale. We've been chatting online all day. We actually have a lot in common and well…don't be mad. He's taking me out to dinner tonight. If he turns out to be a creep, I swear I'll change my number!" Alice looks nervous, but excited. Her eyes are darting around the room, lighting anywhere but on me.

_Who am I to take that from __her? Maybe Alice can be happy this way; she certainly seems to be looking forward to this dinner, in any case. _I decide to do what we always have done for each other. I'm going to be there for her. When he breaks her heart, I'll be there for her. I'll pick her up when she falls. It seems inevitable.

"Alice. Look at me." I take her tiny pale in hands in my own and rub circles on the backs of them with my thumbs. "Ally, whatever you want to do, you know I'll always be here for you. Whatever you choose, I'll back you up. You have to know that by now!"

"Oh, Bella, I know. I just don't want you to be disappointed in me. We made that pact out of fear. It was a long time ago. I think maybe I'm ready to try for more."

I can feel my fear bubbling up within me, but I have to keep calm for Ally's sake. She's obviously in a healthier state than I am.

"I couldn't be disappointed with you! Go with your instinct."

We hug each other tightly for a moment. Alice pulls back to look me in the eyes, while still holding my arms.

"Bella, not every guy is Jake. What happened then, it was terrible. When I think about how he treated you, it makes me sick. Victoria and James were no help of course. I'm glad we got out when we did. I shudder to think what would have happened if we stayed."

"I know Alice. I really don't want to get into it right now. Lunch is almost over and I have some calls to make."

"Okay, Bells. Promise, if you need me you'll call. Date or no date."

"You know I will. I love you, girl."

"What's not to love?" With that sentiment she prances from my office, dumping her empty lunch container in the trash on the way out.

After Alice leaves I pick up my cell phone to call Rosalie. I feel the need to hit the town tonight and Rose will be just the person to do it with.

The phone rings and rings, but Rose doesn't answer. Her voicemail picks up.

"Hey, Rose, I'm calling to see if you'd like to hit Fox with me tonight. I am in need of a very large drink. Call me!"

Oh, I am so ready for quitting time. This is a highly unusual occurrence for me. Normally I am cranking out the columns like it's nobody's business!

I stand and stretch.

Time to head for home. I need to shower and get ready for a night out. I don't usually go out two nights in a row, but I feel a little anxious today. I know just what I need to pull me out of my funk. I'm pretty damn sure it isn't going to be found sitting in front of my computer.

It's seven o'clock on a Thursday night and Fox is hopping. The line outside the building wraps around the block. I relish the fact that I can walk up to the door, smile a little, and gain immediate entrance. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think I'm pretty good looking. I work out, so my small, curvy body is firm. My breasts are perky and you could bounce a quarter off my ass. I have long brown hair and dark brown eyes. I've never had a problem getting a "date". Into the throngs of people I go. As I nudge my way to the bar, I am already eyeing up the possibilities.

I'm standing at the bar for no more than thirty seconds when the bartender takes my order.

"I'll have a Sex on the Beach, please." My eyes never leave the total babe standing next to me.

The bartender passes me my glass and I drain it and ask for another. He slides me the glass with an upturned eyebrow. I wink and take a sip. The man next to me slips the bartender a twenty. I rarely pay for my own drinks. I take another sip and decide this blond man will do. He's got a great mouth. It looks very…kissable, among other things. I can feel the moisture build just thinking about the possibilities. He asks me to dance.

"Sure." I say to him in my sultry voice. I drain my second drink and follow him to the dance floor.

After a few minutes of dancing and shaking my ass into his crotch, I know he's turned on. I put my finger into the collar of his shirt and start to lead him away from the swaying and gyrating crowd. He trails after me like a puppy on a leash. I pull him into the restroom and quickly check the stalls, it's empty and I lock the door.

Slowly, I turn around and lift the corners of my mouth in a slight smile. I walk to him and press my lips to his. I toss my clutch onto the counter. Pushing him back onto the couch, I watch his eyes darken with arousal.

Smirking to myself, an errant thought pops into my head. _I knew these couches were in here for a reason_.

I ease his erection from its linen prison, stroking it gently.

He groans.

I pull a condom out of my bra, tear it open and slip it on him.

At this particular moment, I am reminded afresh of why I didn't wear panties under this dress. My little red number has a loose, flowing skirt. I hike it up and slide on top of him. His hands reach around and grab my ass. I lean down and start kissing him, pulling his lower lip into my mouth and sucking gently.

With one quick, unexpected movement he pushes me off and bends me over the couch. Standing behind me, I can feel his fingers slide into my wetness. His other hand reaches forward and grabs my breast.

My breath quickens. _I really need this._

His fingers leave my sex and grasp my hips, rubbing his throbbing length back and forth over my slick entrance.

Moaning, I push my hips back toward him, making my needs clear.

I want him in me now. Instant gratification.

As though he can hear my thoughts, he grinds into me somewhat forcefully.

I gasp. _Ooh, that's hot._

Rhythmically he pumps into me. I can feel myself tightening in response. My hands are grasping at the couch cushions, my hips meeting each one of his thrusts until I can feel a change in this stranger behind me. He's becoming more urgent and I feel myself build to a crescendo. I come around his cock and he follows a moment after me with a grunt.

I give him a second to pull out of me and then stand and straighten my dress. He is cleaning himself up when I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hey, there are other people that have to pee, you know!"

I quickly wash my hands and face and grab my purse. I look back at my benefactor for the evening, blow him a kiss and leave the room. The last thing I see is a dumbfounded look on his handsome face while he pulls up his zipper.

Some long-forgotten, uppity bitch in the back of my brain speaks up. _While you're fucking the guy you hear yourself call him a stranger, don't you? Clearly you have some issues. I heard you talking to Alice earlier…_

_Shut up__! I don't want to hear it!_

As I escape through the back door of the club, I realize I don't have my phone. I hope Rosalie isn't too pissed. It's got to be close to eight thirty by now.

"Bella! Where the hell have you been? I've looked everywhere for you!" Rose appears from out of nowhere and grabs me by the wrist.

"Hey! I was just in the bathroom. There was an opportunity too great to pass up. Did you want to go somewhere else?" I hope she can't see my distraction.

"You made quick work of this club. Yeah, sure, let's head back to my apartment, I guess. It's really packed in here anyway."

We make our way down the street to Rosalie and Emmett's place. I know she's got something on her mind.

"You talked to Alice, didn't you?" I ask her with accusation in my voice.

"Yes, I did. Don't worry; it's not what you think. I just wanted to find out what made you feel the way you do. I've known you for a couple of years now and I've always known you were hiding something. Won't you just share it with me? Just to help me understand?"

"No. There's nothing to explain." I feel the bitch in my head start elbowing me. I ignore her. "I get from men the one thing I can't get from anyone else. I don't believe I am capable of the love between a woman and a man. That's all you need to know for now."

"Sorry, Bella, I just want to help. Alice said you were very supportive of her choice to go out with this Jasper, but she could see the fear in your eyes. I can feel it coming off of you in waves, even now! I hope someday you'll confide in me."

"Maybe, Rose, maybe." I'm no longer feeling up for a visit and try to think of an excuse to head for home. "Rosalie, would you be terribly disappointed in me if I was to reschedule for another night? I think I may be starting to come down with something."

I can see she knows I'm full of shit, but she's going to let me off the hook for once.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"No, that's fine with me, hon! We can do this any old time. Just promise you'll call if you need anything."

"Sure, sure." I give Rose a hug and turn around to call a cab. I only wait a mere minute before someone stops to pick me up.

I sit in the back of the cab and lay my head against the seat. I give the driver my address and close my eyes. I know tonight is going to be a bad night.


	3. Chapter 3

**All Character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**Thanks to those who have been reading and reviewing! I truly appreciate it!**

**Thank you to my amazingly talented Beta! Red, you are fan-freaking-tastic! Love ya, girl!**

**Looooooooove my girls. I do, really.  
**

**Chapter Three - BPOV**

"_No, Jake! It's not like that; I didn't wa__nt to get pregnant! I'm fifteen! Why would I want a baby?"_

"_Really? How is it I have screwed other girls and not one of them ever got themselves knocked up__?"_

"_Screw? But, Jake, you said you loved me! We were going to get married after I graduate!" I sniffed, "You said you'd never hurt me." Tears blazed twin trails down my pale cheeks._

_Jake looked down at me with cold black eyes, his dark brow furrowing._

_He snorted, "You really are pathetic, aren't you?"_

_I could feel the hurt inside me turn to anger. How dare he call me pathetic!_

"_How could you say that to me? You stand there all self-righteous, claiming I got __**myself**__ pregnant. How could that even be a possibility? I certainly didn't climb up and do it alone!"_

"_You__'re supposed to be smart, Bella. You could have said no at any time."_

"_You're supposed to be a man, Jacob."_

_That did it. I watched red climb his cheeks. _

_Such a temper._

_Uh oh._

I wake up to a loud scream. _Where is that coming from? _I realize my mouth is open. I pull it shut and the sound stops. _Oh. It's me._

I haven't had that nightmare in a long time. It must have been the snooty bitch from the back of my brain last night. She woke up with a vengeance.

Lying in my bed, I find my past keeps playing behind my eyelids.

I look at the alarm clock.

Seven twenty-nine.

One of the most horrific sounds in my universe is going to start in less than one minute.

_Okay, time to get up._

I turn off the alarm before it goes off and run around my apartment in my usual morning haste, trying to remember all I have to accomplish today. I start a mental check list as I brush my teeth.

_Pick up my dry cleaning, call Rose to reschedule, check on Alice…_

Realizing how disoriented my dream has left me, I scrub fiercely, annoyed with myself. I'm supposed to be a big girl. Dreams can't hurt.

_Focus on one thing at a time. Get ready and call Alice._

I spit out the frothy toothpaste and rinse my mouth. I take one last glance in the mirror.

_Okay, looking good today, Bells._

My hair is falling past my shoulders in thick mahogany waves, my make up is near perfection and my tits look great in this blouse.

I see a ripple in the reflection and I frown. Suddenly, I see myself with tears streaming down my face, my hair a tangled mass and a vacant look in my brown eyes.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

_S__tupid nightmare! Get over it, Bella. You can't change the past._

Opening my eyes, I see there's nothing abnormal about my appearance. A grim smile pulls at my mouth. I turn off the light and leave the room.

I head into the kitchen where my cell is charging. Picking up my phone, I dial Alice's number. Images flash in my mind of Alice crying, her being stood up, left all alone in some trendy restaurant.

I shake it off, needing to sound normal so I won't upset Alice.

I throw myself into one of the wooden chairs surrounding my table.

"Hello?" Alice sounds sleepy.

_How unusual for her. She's usually in the car by now._

"Hey sweetie, I was just checking in," concern is lacing my voice.

Alice yawns. "Oh, yeah, well… I was thinking about calling in today. I'm feeling a little bit lazy this morning."

"You can give me details later, but did you forget about your nine o'clock meeting with that new guy, Edwin something?" Ally was interviewing a potential junior editor.

"Oh, that's right! It's Edward, by the way. Edward Cullen. He's got a really sexy voice, I'd bet he's good looking!"

I hear a mumbled protest and Alice giggles.

"Are you still at Jasper's?" My voice goes up an octave in shock.

"Not exactly…" She trails off and I am pretty sure I can _feel_ her blush through the phone.

"Oh, Ally, you didn't?" That was rule number one: Never bring a guy back to your place. We are good at what we do; we don't want any crazies stalking us.

"Well, we can talk more about this later, Bella." Alice says loudly, making me close my protesting mouth. "I'll hop in the shower and I'll be there in twenty."

"Okay, hon. I'll see you in a bit. Oh, and Alice?"

"Yes, Bells?"

"Be safe."

I hear Alice sigh.

"Aren't I always?"

I shut my phone with a quick flick of my wrist.

Pulling my lower lip between my teeth, I start gnawing on it. I'm worrying. Somehow Jasper has the wool over my best friend's eyes. Of this, I feel convinced. She may be happy now, but how long could it possibly last? I'll just have to keep an eye on her.

_You weren'__t always so cynical._ A snide voice in my head reminds me.

That's an understatement. I used to believe in love at first sight and all that bullshit. Hearts and flowers, as the saying goes. My dismal childhood left me desperate for some kind of attention…affection.

When I first saw Jake, I thought he looked like someone with whom I could share my horrific past. He pulled me in with his warm black eyes, sparkling with mischief, and an inviting smile. I was only fourteen and he was eighteen, I couldn't believe a senior was wasting his time on insignificant me. I was not the only one who felt that way. Jacob's mother, Victoria, agreed with me. I wasn't good enough to be with her son. Jake assured me, once she saw how in love we were, it wouldn't matter anymore. I dared to hope and dream. I could picture how good it would be. Since Jake was graduating, I could use my grades to see about skipping a grade so we could start our life together sooner. I was happy in those dreams, thinking maybe one day…

Instead, I got pregnant.

_Beep!_

I look up at the clock, realizing how much time has passed. Alice is here already!

I brush the back of my hand across my wet cheeks, hoping I haven't just smeared my make up.

_Get it together, Miss Swan!_

Shoving my chair back under the table, I grab my purse and head out the door. I am beginning to think Alice had the right kind of idea, calling in sick. Although, it may look a tad suspicious if we are both absent.

I run down the stairs from my second story apartment and realize it's raining. What a shocker. When isn't it raining? Rushing to get into the car, I trip and nearly fall, face first through the open door.

"Whoa, Bella! Everything alright? Where's the fire?" Alice laughs at my less than graceful entrance.

She should be used to my clumsy ways after nearly twelve years of friendship.

"Sorry, Alice! I am so distracted this morning. I didn't even notice the rain until I got downstairs!"

"Space Cadet Bella, you've just won the prize for dizziest entrance before nine in the morning. What are you going to do next?" Alice giggles at her own joke.

I stick my tongue out at her. Yes, I realize we can still be sixteen at times. It's what makes us so endearing.

Not wanting to bring up the subject of Jasper Hale, I think about something else I wanted to ask.

"If this new editor is hot and you don't hire him, I call dibs!" I've got to think of something to get my brain out of its current downward spiral.

"If I don't hire him, you can have him. Something tells me I won't be too interested." I watch a small smile lift the corners of her pert mouth.

Swallowing back my worry for my friend, I ask her the now obvious question, "So, I take it you're seeing him again?"

"Bella, I don't know what it is about Jasper, but I think this has some real potential. I know we've only known each other for a few days. I don't really know what gives me this feeling. Something tells me Jasper is going to be around for a while." She sighs. "Stop it, you look like a goldfish."

I snap my mouth shut.

_Deep breaths_, I repeat this mantra, trying to form a rational response.

"When do I get to meet him?"

"I'm not sure yet. We've only been out twice…and one of those times doesn't really count. We're going out again tomorrow."

As we're pulling up to _Glitz, _I decide to drop the subject.

I work right through lunch, trying to erase lingering images from last night. Seeing what time it is, I decide it to take a break.

Walking toward Alice's office, I am nearly blinded by a reflection in the window.

Momentarily distracted, I bump into someone.

"I'm so sorry, how clumsy of me!" I look up and I'm immediately lost in a sea of green.

I hear a small intake of breath, praying it is not me.

"No, miss, it was my fault. I saw a bright flash of light and I'm afraid it caused me to walk right into you."

"Oh. I thought I was the only one who saw it."

Looking around, I wonder how it's possible for a light bright enough to cause the two of us to collide, to go unnoticed by everyone.

Coming to my senses, I excuse myself from the beautiful man. Feeling completely off kilter, I head straight into Ally's office.

"I saw you met our new junior editor."

"That was him?" _Great first impression, I sounded like a complete moron._

"Yep, I told you he'd look good, didn't I?" I'd say Alice sounds a bit smug.

She has an uncanny knack for just knowing things. It's eerie.

"Yeah, he's something alright." I cannot get the image of those bright green eyes out of my head. They remind me of the rolling landscapes of Ireland. I never knew eyes could be that green. His jaw line looked as though it was sculpted by Michelangelo himself. That mouth…perfect full lips…perfect white teeth…

My panties are now damp. There were hardly any words uttered but, I'm not going to get that run-in out of my head for the rest of the day. I realize Alice has been speaking to me.

Feeling a bit embarrassed, I ask her to repeat herself.

"I just wanted to be sure you're aware that I am going to offer him the job. Which puts him off limits."

"Cockblocker," I tease. Even though deep inside, something is screaming at the injustice.

We discuss work for a bit and I decide I'm going to cut out early. I simply can't concentrate anymore for today.

It's getting late and I've exhausted the batteries of my pink vibrating dildo. I decide to hop into the shower.

Standing under the hot pulsing streams of water, I try to make sense of what I'm feeling. I just can't shake the thought of those lips. How they formed the words coming from his mouth, in the most beautiful male voice I've ever heard. As I think about it, I actually peak with no stimulation. Gasping, I turn off the water and wrap myself in a towel. After performing my nightly rituals, I head to bed sated and sleepy.

Unexpectedly, I have a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

**A/N: A little R&R (read and review), pretty please? :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**All c****haracter names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**Thanks a million, gazillion to my Red!**** I am learning so much from you. Much love!**

**Thank you to everyone supporting me. It is greatly appreciated. I heart you all so much! Now c'mon gimme a little R&R action…please!**

**Love, love!**

**Chapter Four – EPOV**

I can hardly believe the sun is shining again today. Being from the Pacific Northwest, I am rather accustomed to the rainy atmosphere. I grew up a little ways from here, in a tiny town called Forks. After I graduated from high school, I headed to college on an athletic scholarship. I continued playing football through college, just to keep in shape, but knew playing professionally was too much for me to hope for. I was good, but not amazing. I am not one of "those" guys. I have a brain in my head and I do use it. I'm actually an aspiring editor. Since I graduated I have been bopping around, trying my hand in a few different fields. Nothing has really felt like a solid fit until the other day. I was having a discussion with my friend Emmett about what I'd like to do with my life.

"Well, what about the book you were going to write? I thought you sounded pretty stoked."

"I was, until I had my first bout of writer's block. I don't think writing is going to be for me."

"Shit, I don't know what to tell you. I could hire you at RM. You could be my hostess…" Emmett laughed at his lame joke attempt.

I reached over and punched his arm.

"You are in need of some new material, you douche. Thanks, but no thanks on the job offer. You aren't getting me to work in the same building as Rosalie!"

"Aw, c'mon Edward, you know Rose isn't all bad!"

"Be that as it may, I'd rather not work in a position where she holds power over me. She'd enjoy it way too much."

We turned a corner and I stopped suddenly to blink because I saw a bright flash from the corner of my eye. I was aware of Emmett still speaking, but I was having some sort of epiphany.

_Editing. Why had it never occurred to me before? _I felt like I'd been struck by lightning.

"Em!" I cut him off mid sentence. "I know what I want to do! I'm going to work in editing! I've got my English degree, I may as well put it to good use. Now where to start?"

"I'll ask Rose if she knows of anything."

Now, here I am, preparing for an interview at _Glitz_. I've never had any desire to work in fashion, but editing is editing. My nerves are a little jittery this morning, waiting for my interview with Ms. Alice Brandon. Rose did happen to hear of something in the way of a job. The only possible downfall is Ms. Brandon being friends with Rosalie. I could picture the ways this could hinder my future career; it just depended on Rose's mood. Ah well, I will just have to be as charming as I can be.

"Ms. Brandon will see you now." A pretty receptionist stands in front of me with the intent of ushering me to the conference room.

I stand and smile at her, feeling pretty confident I can make it fifteen feet on my own.

"Thank you." I head into the tastefully decorated area and find myself in front of a tiny little woman. She shakes my hand and I know she's not going to take any crap.

"Hi. You must be Edward Cullen. I'm Alice Brandon. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Ms. Brandon."

"No, please call me Alice. I appreciate you changing your interview to a later time. I had some unexpected business pop up. I'm glad we didn't have to reschedule." She gestures to a chair and seats herself at another, perpendicular from the one meant for me, "So, let's get down to business."

As we talk, I can tell she's impressed. I have a knack for noticing things like that. After more than an hour of interviewing she decides to take me on a tour of the building. We make our way through the cubicles and Alice is introducing me to various employees. Our last stop is her office so she can check her messages and she tells me I'm free to go.

"I'll be in touch one way or the other. It has been wonderful getting to know you. Thank you for your interest in the position."

After thanking Alice, I leave the room. Turning the corner, I see a brilliant flash of light. While blinking my eyes, I happen to walk into someone.

_Of course…whoa._

I am dumbfounded.

The most stunning creature I've ever seen is causing me to, quite literally, gasp. She looks up at me with eyes like pools of chocolate, somewhat out of focus, her pouting pink lips forming a perfect "O", her beautiful heart-shaped face is framed by cascades of rich mahogany. I hear her speaking, but can only mumble something in return. Before I realize what's happened, she is gone, turning into Alice's office.

_She __**would**__ have to work here._

Not that it matters. It won't be just any girl who can make me forget my Angie. I don't really want to forget, but a distraction would be a welcome change. The pain has dimmed somewhat in the last five years. There hasn't been anyone serious since. I've thought about it, even gone on a few of dates. It has never turned into more than an occasional lay. I mean very occasional. Angela was such a sweet and caring person, I am immediately turned off by the vapid women with whom I've been set up.

Reaching the front doors, I see that it's still raining. _Where the hell did that light come from?_ My train of thought is changing rapidly. My phone rings.

"Hello?" I climb quickly into the dryness of my car and start it up.

"Hey, Rose wanted me to call and ask about the interview." Emmett gets right to the point.

"I'd say it went pretty well, I had an hour long interview and a tour of the building. Alice is really nice. You swear Rose didn't tell her my name when she was inquiring about the position. I don't want any favors or pity jobs."

"Nah, man, most of the time she doesn't even admit to knowing you." He laughs.

We decide to meet up at RM later this evening. Rosalie might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but the girl can cook. She only works in the kitchen one night a week and tonight is the night. I pull out of the parking lot and head for home.

As I walk through the door, the phone is ringing. It's Alice; she's offering me the job. I'm thrilled with the pay and benefits being extended to me, considering I don't have too much in the way of experience. I tell Alice, I'll call her back with a decision. Hanging up the phone, I feel a sharp pang of regret. The beautiful woman's face pops up in my mind. The perfect "O" shape of her lips.

I feel myself growing hard. I'm being lead by my dick into the bedroom. I reach my bed and lean over my nightstand to turn over the picture of my angel.

_As though she can see you._

_Maybe she can_, counters another voice.

Opening the drawer, I pull out my lube and set it on the bed.

I remove my tie, pants and boxers and lie down. After squirting a generous amount of lube in my palm, I reach down and feel my throbbing length. Stroking gently up and down, I imagine delicate hands in place of my own. I work myself faster and faster until I feel a tightening in my loins. _Almost there._ I explode into the sheets, amazed by what I just saw. For the first time in three years, it wasn't Ang's face that stayed in my mind, but the beautiful stranger from this afternoon. I feel ashamed and guilty by what's transpired. I clean myself and my sheets. Pulling on my pants, I decide to play a little PS3 and get my mind off the incident.

_You're being ridic__ulous, you know. It's been five years and you're living like a fucking monk_.

Ignoring this thought, I crank up the surround sound and start jamming on Guitar Hero.

Random memories keep replaying in my head.

Angela in her ice blue prom dress, taking my hand and stepping from the car.

Our first apartment after high school, messy because we were both so busy: me playing football, Ang working and both of us going to school.

Proposing…

Her acceptance…

Her parents' refusal…

The ensuing argument...

That's the memory I remember very clearly. We were never quite sure what it was her parents seemed to object to. I was a model student, football player and I was always polite. When we went to her parents to tell them about the engagement they were irate. In their anger they told Angela they wouldn't come to the wedding. We left and wound up getting into a horrific car accident. Some drunk asshole ran a stop sign. Angela, being in the passenger's seat, took the brunt of the impact. She never even made it to the hospital. She was pronounced dead at the scene. I walked away with minor injuries. It took over year for me to stop blaming myself. I know now there was nothing I could do. That doesn't take the pain away. It fades, but never completely disappears.

Looking at the floor, seeing my discarded guitar, I don't even remember dropping it. My face is drenched with tears. I grind my fists into my eyes to alleviate the building pressure, knowing I'm about to sob.

_I can't give in. I'm t__urning mental. I've got to be at RM in an hour. Buck up and get your ass into the fucking shower, Cullen. _

Feeling as though I've run through tackling dummies for hours, I climb, weak-limbed into the hot shower. Quickly, roughly, I scrub my body. I know scrubbing isn't going to erase the memories, but it never hurts to try.

After I've washed a layer of skin down the drain, I turn the water off and wrap a freshly laundered towel around my waist. I head into my bedroom to dress. I chose a form fitting black sweater and a pair of faded blue jeans. Then, it's back to the bathroom to perform other after shower rituals. Before I head out, I stop to check my reflection.

My assessment provides me with the image of a pale, vulnerable man. I debate canceling on Emmett and Rose, but decide against it. I am fucking hungry.

Riding down the elevator, I think of trivial things, needing to keep myself in one piece. I haven't felt this emotionally raw in a couple of years. Not really understanding why, or wanting to at the moment, I watch the elevator doors open. Exiting, I approach the front doors and see that the rain has stopped. Looking to the sky, I see the cloud line heading out, so I know it's safe for me to walk the few blocks to RM.

It looks like it was a good idea to meet for an early dinner tonight, the crowd is starting to thicken at the entrance of RM. It is after all the hottest restaurant in Seattle right now. The Italian food is all the rave. It also just happens to be my personal favorite.

I make my way through the throng of people and head straight to the bar and Emmett. He's already ordered me a Captain and Coke. I slide onto the stool, grabbing the glass as I sit.

"Hey assface!" Emmett is in a good mood.

"Hey." I try to sound normal. "What's good tonight?"

"She's making us mushroom ravioli."

"Sounds good! I'm half-starved."

Emmett looks at me, with his head cocked to the side. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Em doesn't look convinced. "Honest. You want to hear about the drop-dead gorgeous girl I saw at _Glitz_?" I still can't get her out of my mind.

"Sure, but make it quick, Rose is going to be heading out here any minute."

"You damn pussy! You're so whipped!" Laughing at my friend, I think how lucky he is. "Anyway, she was kind of short, looked like her head might hit my chin if she stood on her toes. She had long, brown hair, big brown eyes, great chest and an ass that you could crack a nut on!"

"You didn't get a name?" Emmett was used to my nearly celibate ways by now. I looked, but seldom touched. "She sounds kind of like Bella."

"Bella?"

"Yeah, she's a friend of Rose's. Actually, she's Alice's best friend and the two of them come in here all the time to see Rose."

I start wondering why I haven't met her. How is it possible we've never met?

As though hearing my unspoken thought, Emmett informs me that Bella has specifically asked him to stop trying to set her up.

"I'm not sure of her story, except that she seems to like her men…casual."

It looks like that's all the information I'm going to get for now. Rose walks toward us with two plates of mushroom ravioli. It smells incredible. Rose questions me about the interview. I tell her I got the offer and that I'm going to take it.

_When did I make that decision?_I shake my head slowly, surprised at myself.

"I figured you could get it. Even without my influence," says a confident Rosalie.

"It'll be interesting." Not thinking about the subject matter I'd be working with, but about Bella, if that is her name. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.

Emmett and I dig into dinner. Rose heads back to the kitchen for a few minutes before rejoining us. We are just about finished and someone walks up to Emmett.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" I hear a sweet, musical voice that sounds familiar.

"Bells! Alice! How are you girls? You're not usually in here until later!"

I lean around Emmett to see who he's talking to.

There she is. The most intriguing woman in the world. She's breathtaking, but behind the beauty, I sense something more. An infinite sadness lurks behind the depths of her brown eyes. _What I wouldn't give to talk to her without any interference. _

I'm shocked by the turn my thoughts have taken.

"Oh, well, I didn't expect to see you here!" Alice trilled, looking my way. "Have you had a chance to think about the position?"

_Yeah, I'd like to take her in a multitude of positions…_

"Yes, I have." I'm completely aware of Bella's eyes on my face. "I've decided to accept."

"Let me introduce you to one of our senior writers, Bella Swan. Bella, Edward, Edward, Bella. He's going to be joining me in editing some of the shit I get stuck reading. Not everyone's as talented as my sister." She hugs Bella around her slender waist.

"You're sisters?" I ask, curious, as they look nothing alike, apart from the fact they're both tiny.

Bella speaks up, "No, we grew up together and have always been extremely close." An unspoken message is relayed between the two of them.

Again, I am struck with the knowledge that there are some serious secrets held within Bella. For some odd reason, I want to be the one to unearth those secrets. I want to erase the shadows from her eyes.

While we're standing around making small talk some guy comes up behind Bella and puts his hand at the small of her back and whispers in her ear. I'm almost positive that he is grinding into her ass.

_What the fuck?__ We're in a restaurant, a classy one at that!_ Surprising me even more was the fact, and I'm sure this is happening, that Horny Dillweed slips a white card into Bella's waiting hand. I want to tear this guy's hand off and shove it up his ass. I look to Emmett to gain some perspective on the situation; all I get is a shrug of his massive shoulders. Alice's eyes flit from Bella to me and back again. Slowly, her eyes come back to meet mine. Vibrant blue to bright green. Her mouth opens and she gapes at me as though she hears my thoughts. I look down ashamed for thinking this way. Something had to have shown on my face. I don't know what's come over me. I never felt jealous with Angela and she and I dated for 6 years.

_What is wrong with me?_

I think it's time for me to go. I thank Rose and Emmett for the food, placing a fifty on the bar. That ought to be enough to cover our dinner and drinks. They must be distracted; Rose usually shoves the money back into my pocket, never letting me pay for anything here.

"Well, Alice, I look forward to seeing you Monday." I say, shaking her fragile looking hand. "Rose, Em, I'll see you around, thanks again for the meal. It was amazing." I kiss Rose on the cheek and slap Emmett on the back. Turning to Bella, I watch a blush climb up her chest and into her face. I didn't think she could look more beautiful than this afternoon, I stand corrected. How endearing and young she looks in this moment. I lift her hand to my lips and softly kiss the tender skin there. I look up into her eyes and her mouth is in a perfect "O" again.

"Goodbye, Bella, it was wonderful meeting you."

"You too, Edward." Blood rushes back to her pretty face.

It takes all the strength I have to walk away.


	5. Chapter 5

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**Red. You. Are. Amazing. Thank you so much for all of your help! Love and hugs and kisses to you!**

**I also want to thank everyone for their continued support. I love writing this, and I hope you all love reading it!**

**Please, gimme a little love and review! **

I have come to think of this as Bella's anthem; thus, its placement at the beginning of this chapter.

No is never a dirty word, never gonna say it first

No is just the thought that never crosses my mind

Maybe in the parking lot, better bring your friend along

Better off together than just one at a time

(chorus)

S is for the simple need

E is for the ecstasy

X is just to mark the spot, 'cause that's the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer

It's never a question

'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's yes

Not just a suggestion if you ask the question

Then it's always yes, yeah

I'm lovin' what you wanna wear, wonder what's up under there

Wonder if I'll ever have it under my tongue

I'd love to try to set you free, I love you all over me

Love to hear the sound you make the second you're done

(repeat chorus)

S.E.X.

(repeat chorus)

S.E.X., Nickelback

Lyrics from

Chapter Five – BPOV

I'm awakened by the shrill ring of the phone next to my bed.

So much for my peaceful night…

"Hullo?" I answer sleepily.

"Hi! Can I talk to Harry?" The voice belongs to a ditzy sounding woman.

"Sorry, you have the wrong number."

"Oh! Are you sure, because this is the—" I hang up on her; I am entirely sure there is no one named Harry in this apartment.

Frustrated, I turn over my pillow. I need to feel its cool underside. As I'm turning over, I catch a glimpse of pink on my nightstand. I smile to myself as I drift off…

_I can feel his long, pale finger__s slide down my waist. Trembling in anticipation, my breathing quickens. _

_Slow down__, Bella, you don't want to finish too quickly. My brain is working overtime, trying to process the onslaught of emotions._

"_Edward," I moan._

_I can feel his smile against my breast. His breath is rushing over my nipples, causing them to pucker. Edward's teeth take one of my buds in, rolling it ever so slightly, back and forth. All the while, his hands trace light patterns over my thighs. _

_Moaning uncontrollably, my hands twist in the dark mess of hair atop his head._

_Edward releases my nipple and moves slowly down__ my ribcage, peppering me with light kisses, toward my belly button. Pausing in this spot, his tongue takes a dip before continuing toward the soft, smooth expanse of my womanhood. Reaching his destination, Edward's teeth close around my clit, causing me to gasp in shock. He opens his mouth and I can feel the warmth spread across my skin. His tongue reaches out and Edward gently laps at the lips of my sex. My fingers leave his hair and I'm reaching above my head, trying to gain purchase on anything I can reach._

_I've never experienced the intensity I'm feeling now. _

_Strong fingers stroke__ around my entrance, teasing me. He thrusts two of them inside, at the same time speeding the pace of his tongue. Suddenly, his lips leave me. _

_I cry out in frustration. My hands are grabbing at the headboard, so as not to rip hair from Edward's scalp. I'm so close and feeling as though I've been left hanging._

_Unexpectedly,__ Edward's fingers are joined by a third, stretching and filling me, pumping in and out. His mouth finds his way back to my sweet spot, sucking fiercely. After a matter of seconds, my body is nearing a climax. My vaginal walls are tightening around Edward's hand, until the world implodes. Behind my closed eyelids, I see stars and flashes of light. As his hand leaves my body, I'm left with an empty feeling. I'm trembling in the aftershock of the most amazing orgasm I've ever had. Edward presses his soft lips into my belly, kissing… kissing…_

I open my eyes, disturbed by my dream, but reveling in the fact I can cum while sleeping. I cannot fathom why I would fantasize about this man, other than his extreme beauty…the way his lips felt as they brushed the back of my hand…

Still unsure what to make of last night, I think through yesterday's events in detail.

After leaving work a little early, I went home to relax a bit. Within an hour, I was already bored. I called Alice to see if she wanted to go to dinner at RM. She agreed and we set a time to meet. What I did not expect was seeing Edward Cullen for the second time in one day. There he was, shooting the shit with Rose and Emmett, like they'd known each other for years. If that was the case, I wondered if Emmett was taking me seriously for a change. He was always trying to set me up with friends of his; I'd finally told him I didn't want to hear it anymore. I regretted my decision in that instant.

Ally and I joined the three of them. I couldn't help but stare at Edward the moment his lips began to move. I wasn't all that surprised to learn he'd accepted the job. I'd known Alice was offering it to him. We were all just talking and having a good time. At some point, a man came up behind me, rubbing his dick into my ass. It was the guy I was with last week. I was surprised when he slipped me his card. He obviously hadn't gotten the hint when I left before he woke up and didn't leave my name or number. Trying to act as though nothing out of the ordinary happened, I continued listening to the conversation. Looking at Edward, I noticed an intense look in his eyes. Even more confusing was what transpired at his departure. He said normal goodbyes to everyone, then he looked at me and I burst into flames. Not literally, of course, but I could feel the heat making its way up my neck and into my cheeks as he lifted my hand to his mouth. Edward's lips were so soft…

Once he was gone, I could feel Rosalie's, Emmett's and Alice's eyes boring into me.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Alice began the inquisition.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I insisted. "Maybe he's just friendly."

"I don't think so, Bella. I've known Edward a long time and he's usually pretty indifferent to most women." Rosalie claimed.

Emmett gave her a look, stating clearly that she's said too much.

Trying to sound nonchalant, I asked a couple of questions about Edward. Alice gave me a look; she's wasn't fooled - confused, but not fooled. She kept quiet while I asked questions, obviously waiting to see if I'd lost my marbles. I discovered Em has known Edward since high school; Rosalie since she starting dating Emmett in college. Emmett told us, Alice and me, Edward doesn't enjoy being set up, so he'd never introduced us. It didn't seem too odd to me, considering how gorgeous he is and as polite as he seemed to be. He could probably date anyone he wanted. Eventually, the subject dropped and we began discussing other things. My mind wandered back to Edward the entire evening.

By the time I got home, my panties were damp from thoughts of Edward. I played with my pink friend and eventually fell into an exhausted sleep.

Now, here I lie; thoughts of Edward still invading my brain. _Good thing it's Saturday, I could use a distraction. _

Getting up, I wander to the kitchen and pull a bowl from the cupboard. I pour myself some of my favorite cereal, Froot Loops, and take a seat at my table. The whole time I'm eating my breakfast my mind is running through random thoughts for my book. While I thoroughly enjoy my job, I'm writing a novel. It's almost complete, it just needs an ending. I take my dirty dishes to the sink to clean them, when I decide to stay in and write. The article I'm working on is due next week. It's a piece on an up and coming designer.

After dressing myself in "writing" clothes - a soft, worn t-shirt and ratty jeans - I sit down and fire up my laptop. I notice the card from last night sitting next to my computer. Without thinking, I crumple the little piece of cardstock and toss it into the garbage. Turning my attention to the small stereo on my desk, I'm glad to see my I-Pod is already loaded into the dock. I turn it on and crank up the tunes. One of my favorite songs of the week begins to play.

_Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body__,_

_They say it's over budget but you'd pay her just to touch it, come on__._

_Needs to hit the big screen and shoot a little love scene._

_If Hollywood had called her she'd be gone before you holler, come on._

Singing along, I open all the required documents. When my favorite part of the song comes on my voice gets louder, really getting into it.

_You're ripping up the dance floor__._

_You shake your ass around for everyone._

_I love the way you dance with anybody._

_And tease them by sucking on your thumb._

_You're so much cooler when you never pull it out._

'_Cause you look so much cuter… with something in your mouth._

I all but scream the last line, ever thankful for the extra sound proofing in my building. I love Nickelback and cannot listen to it in sedate tones.

_Time to buckle down and get to work_, I tell myself.

It's nearly six o'clock when I finally finish my article. I'm also very happy with the progress of my book; I've worked out a major tangle in the story line. The only times I've stopped all day were mini dance intermissions and the occasional drink refill or bathroom break. I decide to call Alice and see if she'd like to grab some dinner with me. After the third ring, she answers, a little breathless. Alice is getting ready to go out with Jasper again, and she's running a little late. I grit my teeth and tell her to have a good time. My next call is to Rose, which also turns out to be fruitless. Her head chef is out ill, so she has to take over for the weekend.

Feeling a little bummed, I decide to run down to the movie store and rent an old, cheesy horror movie. Right next door happens to be one of my favorite places to eat. I stop in to grab some Chinese. I'm sitting, waiting for my food on a bench outside. It's not raining, which is kind of odd, it seems as though it hasn't rained very much lately. Enjoying the rare sunshine, a bright flash catches my eye. I turn my head and almost drop dead right then and there.

Tall and muscular, practically gliding toward me, is Edward Cullen.

_Holy fuck. How is it possible for one to look so good and be so off limits? Maybe I've angered the sex gods in some way and they feel I should be punished,_ I muse while watching those perfect lips of his curl up into a smirk.

Flustered, I reach up to smooth my hair, as I'm sure stray strands have loosened themselves from my ponytail. _Why didn't I change into something a little more presentable before leaving the house?_ I silently lament.

"Hello again," his voice is velvet, reaching out to caress me, though he's standing a couple feet away.

I'm suddenly reminded of my dream and I flush as I take his proffered hand. "Hi." I'm breathless as I feel the spark from his hand make its way through my nervous system. Pulling my hand back, I ask, "How are you doing?"

"Hungry," his laugh is clear and deep. "Hence the trip to this fine establishment." He gestures to the restaurant behind me. "Are you waiting for dinner?"

"Chicken with mushrooms and Crab Rangoon. I've been working all day and I'm starved." I check my watch and see that my food should be ready.

Standing, I explain this to Edward and he opens the door and ushers me inside. I feel his hand rest lightly on the small of my back for a fraction of a moment before he quickly pulls it back and shoves it into his pocket.

_He can't seem to keep his hands to himself._ Apparently, I'm not the only one acting a little out of the norm. It seems amazing to me that I should feel so sexually charged by nothing more than a kiss on the hand and a light touch.

I pay for my food and turn for the door, thinking it's best to limit casual contact with this man.

"I look forward to working with you, Bella. I'll see you on Monday," Edward calls to me in silken tones.

I shiver involuntarily, "See you then." Making a quick escape, I trip over my own feet, practically falling out the door. I risk a glance back and see Edward's mouth pulled in a tight line, as though he's trying desperately not to laugh.

_God bless him._

Practically running to my car, my face in flames, I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me. Even being a klutz, I am usually more graceful than I was in there. I climb in my car and start it up.

_Hmmm… I wonder why you could be acting this way? _Snaps my inner bitch. _Could it possibly be attraction based on more than looks? No, that would be too out of character. You're nothing but a superficial…_

I shake my head roughly, trying to stop my thoughts from the abusive track they seem to be on. Deep down, I know this is an accurate description of the woman I've become. I have accepted the way I live my life. At least, I thought I had. I can feel the tears begin to prick my eyes, the burning beginning at the back of my throat. I take deep calming breaths until I am in control of my emotions.

_Time to go home._

EPOV

After spending my Saturday doing a whole lot of nothing, most of my time has been spent thinking. I've berated myself for last night's behavior. I just don't understand what happened. One minute I'm saying goodbye to my friends and new boss and the next I'm treating my new co-worker like she's fucking nobility.

_Gah! Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!_ I smack myself in the head a few times. _What is it about this Bella Swan that makes her so irresistible to me? I've turned into a moron both times I've met her. _

_ You've done it now, genius. You have to work with the girl now, or had you forgotten that minor detail? _ Ah, I have been wondering when my judgmental side was going to emerge.

_ No__, I haven't forgotten. How could I? She's insanely beautiful - her skin was so soft beneath my fingers…_

My thoughts are interrupted by my cell phone ringing.

_But long before,_

_ Having hurt,_

_ I'll send the pain below,_

_ I'll send the pain below._

_Much like suffocating…_

I answer the phone before the song can really sink in.

_I really need __to change the stupid ring tone._

"Hello?"

"Hey, Edward. What are you up to?" It's Emmett.

"Nada. You?"

"Same. Are you looking forward to your new job on Monday?" Emmett has an agenda.

"Yeah," I answer cautiously.

"Cool, cool. Okay man, I can't take it. What the fuck was that about, last night?"

"Em, I really couldn't tell you. I swear that girl is taking up residence in the spot of my brain usually reserved for common sense! I don't know what the hell to do. For the first time in a long time, I've actually noticed a girl. Granted, she's gorgeous, more beautiful than any girl I've ever seen," I ramble on. "She's out of bounds. We work together…" I realize I'm talking to myself when I hear Emmett clear his throat.

"Wow. You've got it bad. You just met her and you're already obsessing." Emmett sounds almost as shocked as I feel, just hearing it.

I give his observation a second to sink in.

"I'm not obsessing," I mumble.

"Hey, whatever, Edward, you know if you need to talk you can call me anytime." Concern is evident in his voice.

"Thanks, Emmett. I, uh, I think I need to think about some things." I feel disconnected from our conversation.

My hand starts to fall slowly from my ear, when I hear Emmett's voice in the speaker.

"Edward, listen to me for a second, before you space out completely. It's okay to feel something for someone, it is. Angela has been gone for five years. She'd want you to move on - she would. I truly believe that. Just be careful, okay? I've known Bella for a while now and I don't really think she's the relationship type. You've only met her twice. One of those times barely counts."

"Don't be ridiculous, Emmett," I interject, "I'm not feeling anything. I just met the girl; I don't even know her." I feel like I'm lying to him… and to myself.

"I know, I just want you to be careful. Hey, I love you like you're my own brother, you know that." His last few words come out somewhat quietly.

"I love you, too, Em. Thanks again, but really, I'm gonna go. I'm pretty hungry."

"Peace, fucker," Emmett laughs.

"Bye, Dickface." I hang up the phone with a smile.

Somehow, I feel more confused than I did before. It's not possible to feel something for a girl I've only talked to once. Yet, I'm pretty convinced I do, or at least I'm starting to. I feel drawn to this woman. I'm a moth and she's the flame. Though, she's more like a blazing bonfire.

Finally, deciding food will curb my woolgathering, I head down to my car. The sun is shining again. When I hop in my car and start it up, I roll down my windows, taking in the fresh April air. I hear a good song on the radio and turn it up. I feel like I'm in high school again. This brings up some nice memories. They no longer make me feel only sad, but make me appreciate what a special person Angela was. It's "our song". She was a sucker for Savage Garden and when she heard _Crash and Burn_, she claimed it had to be "ours". I smile at the memory. Her face lighting up when she had me listen to it.

I feel like my emotions are all over the board. It's exhausting. I list all the things I'm feeling now as I make the short trip to the Chinese restaurant: nostalgic, happy, confused, excited, sad, and irritated. That seems like too many emotions for any one person to have to deal with at a time. Using a technique my therapist taught me, I decide why I'm feeling each emotion.

Nostalgic because I'm sitting in a car listening to Angie's and my song.

Happy because I feel like my life is starting to head in a new direction with my life.

Confused because I haven't felt anything for anyone since Angela passed away.

Excited about my job starting in two days. I think this will be a good thing in my life.

Sadness creeps in because I don't want to forget about Angela, even though my brain is telling me this is an illogical thing to be concerned with.

Finally, I am irritated with myself for acting like an emotional basket case the last couple of days.

I feel like I can handle things now. Everything is compartmentalized once again now that acknowledging my feelings and feel in control.

_You sound like a fucking woman, _quips the judgmental me.

_Hey, if it helps me stay sane, that's all I care about._

I pull into the parking lot and take a spot. As I turn off the car, I catch a bright reflection in my rearview mirror.

_You have got to be kidding me._

I see Bella sitting on a bench, looking at a DVD she has in her hand Smiling to myself, I slide out of my seat. Walking toward her, I can fully appreciate how beautiful she is. She's totally unaware of my presence. Bella is dressed in a threadbare t-shirt with a barely legible logo and a pair of jeans so worn her knees are showing.

As though a gunshot just cracked next to her, she looks up. I can see the shock register on her face, followed by her lips falling open slowly, as though she's taking in a deep breath. My grin widens. I watch her hands - so graceful in their every move - reach up to smooth her hair. A blush climbs her pale, smooth neck only to settle on her cheeks. In this instant, I feel nothing but hope.

I stop a couple of feet from her, fighting the urge to pick her up and throw her over my shoulder, cave man style. We make small talk until she tells me her dinner should be ready. Opening the door for Bella, I place my hand at the base of her spine. I jerk my hand back, not wanting to scare the poor thing. I really need to keep my hands to myself…for now.

When she leaves, I watch Bella trip over her own two feet. She glances back at me with a horrified expression and I try not to laugh. Bella has to be one of the most endearing females I have ever met.

In this instant, I am vowing to get closer to this girl. While this knowledge surprises me, I cannot deny it. I feel like I've been given a blessing from Angela herself. My heart feels lighter than it has in a long time. I feel resolved.

Bella Swan will be mine.

**A/N: There won't be any pattern to the POV's, it'll change periodically. **


	6. Chapter 6

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**I hope you really enjoy this chapter, because it was re-written three times!**

**To my dear, sweet Red – I heart you so very much! Thank you for all you do and for all of your encouragement. It means so much! *muah***

**Thanks to all of those who are reading, it makes me smile huge!**

Chapter Six – BPOV

_It's Monday_. Rolling over, I turn off the alarm and sigh.

_I'll just ignore him. Alice is my editor, so I can pretend he doesn't exist._

_Other than the fact you think about Edward constantly._

_Damn. Why is my inner voice such a bitch?_

This is not a good sign: thinking so much when I first wake up.

Forcing all thoughts of Edward Cullen from my mind, I prepare for my day.

Lunch has come and gone, I'm busy preparing for another interview. I haven't seen Edward yet and I try to convince myself this is a good thing.

_You can't hide in your office forever…_

_Gee, thanks, Snarky._

While sitting at my cluttered desk, I watch my co-workers walk past the windowed walls off my office. I'm thinking about closing the blinds, just in case a certain green-eyed god should happen to pass, but I'm enjoying myself. I like to see what everyone is wearing.

_Maybe that could be an article. 'How does the office of __**Glitz Magazine**__ dress for work?' That has some definite potential._

My musings are lost with the ringing of my office phone.

"Hello, this is Bella Swan."

"Bells, I need to speak with you. Do you have a minute or two?" I feel like I haven't spoken with Alice in days.

"Sure, Ally. What's up?"

"Well, it's nothing truly major, but I just wanted to let you know Edward Cullen will be taking over the majority of your articles."

Gasping in disbelief I ask Alice, "What? Why?"

"Bella, it's not a big deal. It's a compliment, really. You're the best writer we have and Edward doesn't have much in the way of experience. I'd like to have him get acclimated to our office with your help. That is, if you don't object too strongly."

"Alice, if he doesn't have experience why did you give him the job?"

"He has some experience, just not anything in fashion. You are a veteran and I think you could help him along. Just for your peace of mind, I will be looking everything over for a while, to keep an eye on his progress."

_Well, fuck me three ways from Wednesday. This isn't going to bode well with my "ignore him" philosophy. _

Sighing heavily, I concede, "Ally, you know I trust you, so I won't fight you on this…yet."

"Thanks, sweets, I appreciate it. I'm going to be sending him your way in a bit."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later. We have a lot to catch up on!"

Alice's giggle resembles the tinkling of a bell. "Most definitely! Bye for now."

I say goodbye and hang up the phone, frowning.

_So it starts. First she's too busy to hang out with me at all this weekend, now she's unleashing Edward Cullen on me. _

_ On the flip side, you'll have to get to know Edward. I think it'll be a good thing. _

_Please, explain to me how that could possibly be good._

_ Hmm…I wonder. You're attracted to him; admit it. _

_ Of course I'm attracted to him. What sane woman wouldn't be?_

_ I meant in more than a physical sense. You are so singularly minded._

_ Sex is the only thing men are good for. And even that could be done without the help of a man,_ I tell my inner bitch with a satisfied tone.

Pushing back the traitorous part of my brain, I am now thinking of numbers. More specifically, the number of sexual partners I've encountered. I have my second physical of the year due next week and it always forces me to own up to my actions. I really only started keeping count a few years ago.

_Be honest with yourself, two years ago._

Okay, so I've kept count for the last two years. My doctor likes to be kept abreast of these things. Thus, my twice a year physical - I don't want any sexually transmitted diseases.

Unfortunately for me, my one-tracked mind starts playing my highlight reel. Somehow, thoughts of a blond-blue-eyed-boy-next-door-type began morphing. The only face I see behind my eyes is framed by reddish brown, unkempt hair. His eyes remind me of lush jungles and his smile is crooked, but beautiful, full of mischief and life.

As I attempt to mask a groan, I hear soft tapping on my door.

Straightening, I call, "Come in, please."

Lo and behold, with the opening of my door, the object from my daydream enters. He's even more gorgeous than I remembered…if that is even a possibility.

"Hello again, Ms. Swan," Edward offers his hand to me.

I stare at it for a second, taking in the long, graceful fingers, before placing my hand in his own. Instead of the shake I expect, Edward more or less squeezes my fingers gently before releasing them and taking a seat.

"Please, call me Bella."

What an interesting afternoon. Edward seems to be a natural. Alice has already given him some of my articles to edit. As I read through them, I am impressed. On the other hand, I want to smack the shit out of him. Sometimes, when he speaks to me it feels as though there is some innuendo I'm missing. Every so often, I notice him staring at me with an intense look in his eyes. I am definitely feeling the relief of five o'clock.

Having forgiven Alice for seemingly dumping me on Edward, I head for her office after parting ways with our new editor. There are a few things I'd like to discuss with her.

I knock on my best friend's door and wait. From inside I hear muffled voices and Alice's sparkling laugh.

Alice peeks out, slightly flushed, as though she's been engaged in some sort of activity. "Hi, Bella, is there something you needed?"

"Uh, yeah, actually I was hoping to talk with you. Busy?"

"Um, well…" She seems to be undecided about something.

A large hand grabs the edge of the door and pulls it open. Standing there with a huge smile on his face is a blond man with gray eyes. He's tall and has a medium build.

"Hello, I'm Jasper Hale. It's a pleasure to meet you. Ally has told me so much about you." His hand extends to mine and gives it a firm shake.

_Why does this feel like he's interviewing for a job?_

"Hi Jasper, it's nice to meet you too." I look to Alice who has a grin on her face that reaches from ear to ear. "Well, Ally, I guess it can wait. I can see you're busy. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bella, you and me, lunch tomorrow?"

I nod and say goodbye, feeling agitated. I head for my office, barely aware of my surroundings.

_You rely too much on Alice. You need to figure this out for yourself._

_ What are you talking about? There's nothing to figure out. I just wanted to talk to my best friend. Who is apparently too busy to talk to me…_I know I'm sulking, but it's hard when we've had only each other for so long.

I decide my best bet is to flush all thoughts from my head with some drinks. I'm not afraid to go alone; it makes it easier if I want to leave early.

Upon arriving at home, I make a beeline for my closet, dropping articles of clothing along the way. Looking at my selections, I thank God I work at a fashion magazine. I've been given some beautiful pieces. Tonight, I decide on a new spring number. This dress is too gorgeous not to wear! The garment is transparent in swirling, lacy designs, ending just above my knees. It's off the shoulders and the sleeves are three-quarter length. Underneath goes a sleeveless, emerald green slip dress, a bit shorter then the overlay. To accessorize, I add large silver hoops with emeralds dangling from the centers and Chanel graces my feet in the form of white, lace covered heels. I leave my dark hair hanging down my back, pulling only the top back with silver pins.

_I look good._ I think to myself after doing a one eighty in front of my floor length mirror.

Deciding on Fox again, I head out.

The second I walk through the door, I am perusing. I head over to get a drink and signal to the bartender. I order a peach daiquiri. Sipping my mind-numbing ecstasy, I watch the ebb and flow of the dancers on the floor. It's mesmerizing, sitting, listening to the deep, pulsing tones of the music. I'm becoming lost in myself.

"Hey there, stranger," a clear, musical voice murmurs in my ear.

A shudder ripples from the base of my neck all the way down my spine.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," I mumble under my breath. "Well, hello. I've never seen you here before," I try to keep the irritation from my voice.

Edward will most definitely hinder my chances for getting laid. Guys don't tend to approach women already conversing with a man.

_Face it: you want him. You loved when he kissed your hand last week. You can't stop thinking about him._

Not liking these thoughts brought to the forefront of my mind, I give my head a slight shake, trying to focus on the words coming from his full lips.

"Do you mind if I buy you a drink? Since we're going to be working together closely, I thought it would be nice to get to know each other. What do you say?" Edward looks hopeful.

I decide to squash those hopes, being the vindictive bitch I can be.

"I'm sorry Edward; I just don't think it's a good idea. I'm actually looking for someone." I lie through my teeth, spotting a man sitting a ways down the bar, watching me.

Looking as though Christmas was just canceled, Edward places his hand on mine. I can feel heat build within me from his electric touch. "I would really like to know you as more than a co-worker."

"Sorry, but that is frowned upon at _Glitz._" I pull my hand out from under his and grab my drink from the bar. I throw down some money and head for my scapegoat.

Weaving through bodies, I make my way to him - my night's conquest. Looking over my shoulder briefly, I see a heartbreaking expression on Edward's face. That haunted look almost makes me stop in my tracks. Almost.

Focusing on the raven haired man before me, I smile and pull my bottom lip between my teeth. For some reason, guys find this irresistible. Apparently he's no exception. He's watching me with a slightly open mouth.

"Hi," I purr. "You here alone?"

"Yeah, you?" His pale blue eyes glance toward Edward.

"Not anymore."

After Felix, my scapegoat, unlocks his front door, I shove him through, pressing my lips to his. I kick out behind me, slamming the door against its frame. My hands run up the back of Felix's neck and into his hair, pulling it as my tongue parts his lips. I notice they aren't as full as…

_Stop! Stop it right there!_

As I deepen the kiss, Felix pulls me back toward his couch. His mouth disappears from mine as he falls back onto the cushions. Standing in front of him, I slowly begin to lower myself to the ground, slipping my shoes off as I drop. Almost to my knees, Felix grabs my arms and pushes me back up until I'm standing, once more. Looking quizzically at him, he kicks off his Oxfords and grins up at me.

_I wonder what kind of freaky shit this guy is in to._

Half expecting him to pull a pair of handcuffs or a whip from under the pillows, I smile indulgently.

"I'd like you to strip for me," he claims, sounding nervous. Felix clears his throat. "Would you do that for me?"

"Do you have a stereo, honey?" I look around. Seeing the entertainment center, I head over to it, not waiting for an answer.

I turn the radio on and the perfect song just happens to be playing.

My song.

Swaying my hips to the music, I hum along.

"_S" is for the simple need._

I pull my lace overlay up over my head and fling it near the couch.

"_E" is for the ecstasy._

I shimmy my nylons down my legs, rubbing them sensually.

"_X" is just to mark the spot, 'cause that's the one you really want._

I smooth my hands over my breasts and down until I reach the hem of my green dress.

_Yes, sex is always the answer._

_Yes, yes it is_, I think to myself.

Standing in front of him in only my bra and panties, I feel emboldened. I strut towards Felix, unhooking my bra from its front clasp as I go. Moving my fingers across my belly and up my ribcage, I reach my nipple. Smirking wickedly, I pinch it between my thumb and forefinger, moaning.

I can see his dick straining against his zipper. I climb onto the couch and straddle his lap. Looking down into his green eyes…

_What? _

I freeze.

"What's the matter, baby?" Felix's voice is gruff with want. His hands squeeze my ass.

I want to leave now. I have to leave _now_!

Horrified by the burn of building tears, I hurl myself from this stranger's lap. I rush around grabbing my clothes, dressing as quickly as possible. Not bothering with my bra or nylons, I just ball them up into my fist.

"C'mon, Bella. Where are you going?" He reaches out to me without standing.

"I-I-I have to go," stuttering in my anxiety, I pull my shoes on and rush from the townhouse without a backwards glance.

I run down the street looking for a cab. Finding one, I slide in and start dialing Alice's number. My voice thick with unshed tears, I give the driver my address.

It rings through to voicemail.

_Damnshitfuck!_

"Hi this is Alice! Please leave a message and I'll return your call!"

"Ally…" I choke out. "Please, call me."

Hanging up the phone, I lie back against the seat, tears pouring down my cheeks.

The cabbie lets out an uncomfortable sounding, "Humph!"

I realize I'm only a block away from my apartment. How the hell did I not notice? "You can stop here," I mutter.

With an annoyed sigh and glare into the mirror, he pulls over.

I reach into my purse and he waves me off, clearly just wanting me out his cab. Stepping onto the curb, I run my palms across my cheeks. Taking breaths in large gulps, I head towards home.

_What is wrong with me? I just don't understand. Why was I thinking of Edward?_

Just thinking his name makes me heave a sigh of relief.

_No. I have one word to say to you: Jake._

Shuddering, I head up the stairs, not wanting to bother with the elevator. I unlock my door and see my answering machine blinking at me in the darkness. Walking across the room in the dark, I trip over God knows what. I drop my nylons and bra onto the end table and hit the 'play' button.

"Hi, Bella. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I hope you're not angry with me for calling, but Alice gave me your number…Uh, okay, well, I'll see you at work. Goodnight Isabella," Edward all but whispers my name, bringing on a fresh round of tears.

**A/N: As much as I love my readers, it's my reviewers that make me write faster! ;) *giggle***


	7. Chapter 6 Outtake

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**Was anybody else curious as to what Jasper and Alice were up to in her office?**

**This was written for my E! *giggle* Love you twiny!**

**Thanks so much to my Red. You amaze me constantly. **

Jasper and Alice Outtake – APOV

I really hope Bella isn't too unhappy with me.

I can't explain why I know this is a good idea, I just feel it. Edward will be good for Bella. It makes sense for Edward to edit Bella's articles, but it isn't necessary for him to work exclusively with her. That was more of an epiphany of mine.

Sitting deep in thought, after hanging up with Bells, I don't notice the knocking on the door right away.

As the sound meets my awareness, I call, "Come on in!"

The door creaks open.

"Hello, Alice. Do you have time for a break?" Jasper walks in with a grin, running his hands through his hair. His golden locks remind me of wheat. Looking up at this tall, handsome man, I grin.

"Oh, Jasper! What a nice surprise!"

Hopping up from my chair, I run around the desk as he closes the door. I leap into Jasper's strong arms and begin kissing his face. He tosses a paper sack onto a nearby chair. Looking into his stormy eyes, I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach akin to panic. Jasper lowers me back to the floor and strokes my cheek gently, washing away all feelings of doubt. It's taken some time, but I think I'm over my worries. The picture of Bella's face the first time we met stays clear in my mind, as always, but the difference is I can separate myself from it now.

Even though it hasn't been a week since I met Jasper, I feel amazing when I'm with him.

Lighthearted.

Giddy.

Turned on.

_My God, how does he do it?_

Standing within the circle of his arms, I feel my heart rate increase.

"Alice," he says in his soft, deep voice, "I brought you a snack."

Kissing the tip of my nose, he releases me and reaches his hand over to grab the goody bag.

"I can think of something else I'd rather put in my mouth," I grin wickedly as his eyes open wide. Snatching my surprise from Jasper's hand, I open it. Looking inside, I feel a smile break across my face.

_Chocolate covered strawberries. How did he know?_

I turn and walk toward my desk slowly, seductively. When I reach it, I push everything onto the floor. Among the noise of papers fluttering and pens clicking, I hear a sharp intake of breath from behind me. I set the bag of strawberries on the now empty surface. Facing Jasper, I beckon to him with one finger. Taking one step at a time, he makes his way to me. I watch his eyes darken from an ashy gray to granite. Jasper stops when his shoes are just touching mine. He places his hands gently around my waist and lifts me up onto my desk.

Reaching into the bag, I select a berry. Ever so lightly, I trace the fruit around Jasper's lips. His mouth falls open slightly and his tongue darts out to lick the chocolate, melting it just a bit. I trace around his beautiful mouth again, this time leaving a delicious looking trail. As I follow it with my tongue, Jasper groans and his hands tighten at my hips. Lifting the treat to my mouth I take a bite, letting the juice run down my chin. Jasper catches the sweetness and sucks the tip of my chin as a moan escapes my lips.

Continuing his path, Jasper covers my throat in light kisses. I throw my head back and sigh.

With a backward glance at the door, Jasper asks, "Do you have a lock?"

"Mmmm-hmm."

Leaving me perched on the desk, he goes to flip the lock. Looking down at my brand new, white, Ralph Lauren suit, I decide the best plan of action is to remove it at once. I hop up to the top of my desk and begin to unbutton my jacket. Jasper turns around and his jaw drops, seeing what I'm doing.

Tossing my jacket to a chair, I giggle, "I didn't want to get my new outfit dirty."

"Uh….huh…,"Jasper mumbles incoherently, moving closer.

I release the snap of my slacks and shake my hips a little, allowing them to slither to the hard surface, the fabric whispering against my legs.

"Motherfuck," he curses softly.

"Oops, I must have forgotten my panties!"

Jasper brings himself within arm's reach, holding out a hand to me. Shaking my head, I slip my flimsy white top over my head. I am standing in just my bra and stilettos.

This just won't do.

I reach behind me, keeping my blue eyes locked with his gray. As my bra falls to the floor, Jasper's breathing is audible. As I start to remove my shoes, Jasper comes forward and stops me. With his hands on my calves, he peppers my legs with kisses. Pulling me forward slightly, he applies pressure to the backs of my knees, wanting me to sit. Obliging him, I take his proffered hands and place my bum on the cool surface.

I reach up and twist my fingers into Jasper's soft tresses. Suddenly, there is a strawberry in his mouth, blocking my entrance. He nips the tip of the chocolate, revealing the juicy flesh underneath. Lowering it to my collarbone, he draws a faint pink line down the center of my chest. He stops there, only to bring the berry to my mouth. I take a small bite, tasting the saltiness from my skin with the delectable taste of the fruit. Placing the berry on my puckered nipple, he twists it slightly, causing juice to drip down my breast.

"Oh, Jazz…"

My other nipple gets the same treatment and I am beginning to breathe quickly, in anticipation. I want his mouth on me…_now_.

Setting the fruit down, Jasper's mouth starts sucking and licking the tender flesh of my right breast, he's sucking and licking. He moves up erasing the colored lines from my skin. He takes my nipple into his mouth and pulls. My hands yank on his hair and he groans.

"Fuck, that feels good," I tell him, hardly able to contain my passion.

Releasing me from his lips, he continues this path until he reaches my collarbone. His lips pluck at mine gently, while his hands knead my chest. My hands reach out and pull his shirt from his jeans. Once I get his shirt off, I grasp at his belt, wanting him inside me. Jasper takes matters into his own hands and unbuckles his belt, kicking off his shoes at the same time. I push his pants down and he steps out of them. My mouth never leaves his. Our tongues are sliding together in a sensual dance. The taste of strawberries and chocolate is in our mouths.

_He's such a good kisser…_

Jasper is standing before me in all his naked glory, his erection naturally seeking my heat. His hands are on my shoulders, pressing me back lightly. I lay down on my desk and Jasper grabs another berry. This time he flavors the lips of my pussy. My fingers are grasping, trying to feel his dick. He must notice what I'm doing, because he moves closer to me. My hand finds what I'm looking for and moves from the hot silky head, all the way down his length. Pressing his face to my pelvis, he moans. Jasper bites the strawberry and tosses the green into the wastebasket. His mouth returns to my sensitized skin. I feel his mouth burning a path to my clit, which is covered in strawberry juice. Feeling his slick tongue lick small circles around it, I tighten my grip on Jasper's member. My fingers reach the weeping tip of his penis and I rub the natural lubrication all over his engorged head.

"Oh, Ally," he whimpers into my skin.

Strong fingers are making their way into my slick tunnel. My muscles clench around him and I want to feel him pumping into me.

I sit up, surprising Jasper. He stands back and I immediately crave his contact. I turn and move closer to the edge of the desk, until I'm sitting in front of him. He steps into the "V" of my legs; his hot cock presses against my wetness. Slipping my hand down his chest, over his lean, tight stomach, I grab his hard, hot joystick.

With one hand on my tits and the other gripping my ass, Jasper shifts his hips and a deep rumble comes from his chest.

"Are you growling at me?" I lean my head back to look at him more closely, giggling lightly.

"I want you so badly. I can't take it anymore," and his mouth is on mine, attacking it savagely.

I take his member and run it up and down my slit, letting his lube mingle with my own. A ripple of desire travels the length of my spine.

I release him and lift my legs to wrap around his hips, pulling him closer to me. The sharp heels of my shoes are digging into his ass and I worry it might hurt him. My fears are quelled when a lustful noise makes it way into my mouth from Jasper's chest.

With a forward thrust, he buries himself deep within me.

Suddenly, his hand is covering my mouth. I look at him in confusion and he smiles and murmurs for me to quiet down, or I'll alert the employees to my afternoon tryst. I grin shyly at him and he kisses me once again.

Jasper pumps into me with a quick rhythm. I can feel myself clenching around his dick and I know I won't last much longer. Feeling the twitch of his cock inside me, I shift my hips to a better angle. Now, he's bumping against my clit and I am seeing stars. We're climbing a mountain and nearing the peak.

"Oh, Jasper, fuck me, please!"

"Are you sure, Alice? I don't want to hurt you."

Groaning with desire and frustration, I dig my spikes into Jasper's ass.

He slams into me, filling me in a way I've never felt before. I fall over the side of the mountain; Jasper is a second behind me, filling me with his seed. We cling to each other as we come back to reality. My vaginal walls clench with aftershocks of the best orgasm I've ever had causing Jasper to tremble.

While I am kissing his chest, he murmurs to me, "Alice, I have never felt anything so incredible in all my life." He pulls back and brings his lips to my forehead, nose, eyelids and finally my mouth.

I am lost in a haze of happiness. I feel so complete with Jasper.

Pulling apart, I can feel the product of our love making drip out of me.

_Good thing I have a bathroom attached to my office._

After cleaning up and dressing, we sit together in a large squishy chair in the corner of my office. I'm on his lap with his arms are wrapped around me and I'm trying to explain a little bit about my past without betraying Bella.

"Jasper, I've been thinking about this, and I decided it's important you understand how rare this is for me."

"I'm all ears, sweetling," he kisses my hair and pulls me closer.

"Well, my parents died when I was a teenager and I went to live in a foster home, which was run by terrible people. That's where I met Bella. She's been my only family for the last twelve years. Due to some…less than fortunate circumstances, Bella and I made a pact with each other. We would use men the way they used us," seeing the worried look in his eyes, I reassure him. "That was a long time ago; we were fifteen and not living in the best place. So, since then we've had a 'love 'em and leave 'em' policy. I wanted you to be aware of this before you met Bella…or, you know, made any decisions about us."

"Alice, I don't care what you've done in the past. I only care about your happiness now. I have never felt this way about anyone before. You light me up inside. I know it hasn't been long, but you're pulling me in."

Beaming, I throw my arms around him, hugging him close to me.

"I am so happy to hear you say that," I reach for the bottom of his shirt and pull it up over his head.

Pressing our lips together, we begin that marvelous tango he performs so well.

_Knock, knock_.

_You have got to be fucking kidding me._

I groan into Jasper's mouth and I realize I must have muttered my complaint aloud.

"You'd better get the door. I've kept you from work all afternoon," he says with a sly grin, glancing around for his shirt.

Laughing, I tell him, "I can't think of a better way to spend a day at work."

Heading over for the door, I giggle, because I seem to have misplaced Jasper's shirt.

While he's looking for it behind all the furniture, I peek out the door.

_Oh shit._

"Hi, Bella, is there something you needed?"

I can hear Jazz hunting around the room for his clothes.

"Uh, yeah, actually I was hoping to talk with you. Busy?" She doesn't sound angry, I feel relieved.

"Um, well…" I'm not sure half-naked Jasper is the one Bella should be meeting.

He's recovered his shirt apparently, since he grabs the door and pulls it open. I am silently praying he doesn't open it far enough for Bells to see the contents from my desk all over the floor.

After making some small talk, I note the worried look on Bella's face as she turns to go.

"Bella, you and me, lunch tomorrow," I call to her.

She nods and leaves and I feel a twinge of guilt.

**A/N: I wanted to give you all a little lemony goodness for being such good sports about the lack of romance between Edward and Bella. Don't worry, they will get there. I promise.**


	8. Chapter 7

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**Thank you Red, for all of your hard work! I bow down to you!**

**Thanks for reading, I heart you! **

Chapter Seven – EPOV

Whoever said females were frustrating was not kidding. I feel like I am losing my mind on a daily basis. I work next to Bella, pretty closely, almost every day. After reading the things she's written, I am blown away by her intelligence. She's really wasting her talent on this fashion shit. I don't tell Bella this; I wouldn't want to offend her.

I sigh. It's been eight weeks since I started editing Bella's articles and I haven't managed to get any personal information from her. Her attitude has changed toward me. Bella is no longer as rude as she was. So, I observe her and I've noticed things. Some absolutely adorable things:

Bella nibbles her lip when she's deep in thought.

She sighs whenever I correct something she believes is already perfect.

She rocks, back and forth, when we're standing at the door to her office.

Bella is also an eye roller…

Sometimes, I can tell I've interrupted a serious thought or memory. I will walk in and she won't notice me at first, so I'll make some sort of noise and she'll look toward me with clouds rolling across her beautiful brown eyes. Taking a deep breath, Bella will shake her head, as though she's clearing it and a smile breaks across her face.

This woman is killing me. Ever since that night at Fox, I see the image of Bella in her lacy dress, leaving with another man. But, when she looked back at me, I swear I saw a fleeting emotion on her face. A flash of longing, or perhaps I'm wishing it was. Before Bella women held little attraction for me. They were merely conveniences. Now, all I see is her.

I don't know why there seems to be such a connection between the two of us. I wonder if Bella feels it. When our hands touch, there's a current between the two of us that reverberates through my entire body. It's been a long couple of months, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

This afternoon seems different than normal. Bella is friendlier, less guarded. I've even got her laughing.

_God help me._ The sound sends a jolt directly to my heart…and my loins. Chuckling with her, I marvel at the fact I am able to make Bella laugh.

These past months I've gotten a few glimpses of the real Bella Swan. Bella most definitely has a secret. I'm sure of that now. The girl loves to watch people and she cares more for her best friend's happiness than her own.

Being this close to Bella, I can see how terrified she is with Alice dating. Yet, she supports Alice completely. It's confusing, to say the least.

Bringing myself back to the present, I ask Bella what her plans are for the upcoming weekend. It's June and the weather has been a little warmer, though wetter.

"I'm not really sure, Edward."

My name coming from her lips raises goose bumps along my arms.

"Oh, well, I was—"

I'm interrupted by a knock at Bella's office door.

As both of us turn toward the sound, Bella calls, "Come in!"

She looks at me with shrug. It's not unusual for people to stop by, but with the blinds closed, we didn't see who was approaching.

I'm watching Bella as the door opens, just taking in her beauty. As I'm looking at Bella's beautiful, pale skin, it lightens several shades and a look of terror comes to her face. Turning to see what could possibly have upset Bella so much, I see a handsome, monster of a man walk through the door as if he owns the place. I feel a sudden wave of protectiveness wash over me.

Standing, I ask the giant, "Can I help you?"

"No," he sneers. "I'm here for her. Heya Baby Bells, miss me?"

I turn again, in time to see Bella put her head between her knees, trying to catch a breath. Rushing around her desk, I rub circles on her back in an attempt to calm her.

"Excuse me, sir, but I think it's time for you to leave. Bella obviously isn't comfortable with your presence."

_Understatement of the century. What the fuck does this guy want?_

"I'll leave when I am damn good and ready," he shuts the door behind him, the latch clicking loudly. His dark eyes glare at me, watching my hands on Bella's spine.

I am so unsure of what to do at this point. _Should I call security? Bella clearly doesn't want this jerk here, but I want to know why. I am a selfish son of a bitch._

"What do you want?" I ask harshly, my hand still on Bella.

"Bella," he states simply.

Bella suddenly sits up, anger flashing in her brown eyes. "Over my dead body, you asshole. Get out!"

"Oh, don't be that way, baby. You and I need to have a little chat that's all."

"About what Jacob?" Bella asks him.

_So, his name is Jacob…never heard that one mentioned._

"Do you really want pretty boy in here?" Jacob nods in my direction.

As though just realizing my closeness, Bella's eyes widen and she gapes at me.

"Edward, please, could you give us a minute?" She glances at him, "I need to see what Jake wants. We can finish up in a bit. I'll call your office phone and let you know when to come back. Okay?"

"But, Bella…," I motion toward Jake.

She puts her hands up to stop me, "Thank you for your concern, Edward, but really, I'll be fine." I notice her hands are shaking violently.

_Yeah, she looks fine._ I shake my head in disgust.

"Call me if you need anything."

She nods her head.

"Promise?" I take her hand in mine and squeeze her fingers, ignoring the direct jolt to my nether regions.

I hear Jake heave a sigh and stamp his foot a little.

"Yes, now please, Edward…" Bella begs.

I head for the exit, shoving past Jake as I go. I close the door quietly behind me.

What to do? Maybe I should call security. Wait! Alice!

With a quick stride, I make for Alice's office.

My brain is running through a million thoughts.

_Who is this guy? What does he mean to Bella? He seems like trouble. What was I thinking leaving her alone like that? _

My feet speed up of their own accord. Reaching my destination, I barely knock, pushing her door open. I cannot explain the fear I am feeling, but my heart is pounding wildly.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Edward, come in, please!" She smiles at me brightly. "What can I help you…," she trails off, taking in my expression. "Edward. What is it? Is there something wrong with Bella?"

Feeling a bit like Lassie, I nod.

Alice stands and grabs my hand, turning me toward the door.

"Edward, you need to tell me what happened," she instructs me as we're walking toward Bella's office.

"Well, we were working and things were fine. I even made her laugh…," I say softly, remembering the beautiful sound. Still speaking quietly, my voice hardens, "Some guy came in and Bella turned white and started shaking. I've never seen her act that way."

"Some guy? What guy? Did you get a name?" Alice says all of this with one breath.

"Yeah, Jake was all I heard. He said he wanted to talk to her," I tell her bitterly.

Alice is no longer beside me. I look back and she's standing still as stone.

"Alice?" I shake my hand in front of her face.

"Oh God," Alice whispers and takes off, her feet barely touching the floor. I follow, right on her heels.

Approaching Bella's office, I notice her door is open.

Alice rushes in and screams.

Running in behind her, I see Bella.

She's lying on the floor, her hair fanned out around her, her eyes closed.

There is a trickle of blood dripping down her temple.

BPOV

My head is throbbing. I don't want to open my eyes, but I need to see who is sitting so close to me. I can hear…him? Yes, definitely a man. Panic rises within me and I sit straight up gasping for breath.

"Shhh, Bella, you're alright. Everything is going to be okay. Please, rest," Edward smoothes his hand down my arm.

As he speaks, my heart slows and I am struck by the scent of spearmint and soap. The smell is pure Edward, I've come to know this over the last couple of months. I can taste him on my tongue. Drinking in my fill, I relax against my pillows, taking in my surroundings.

_Ugh, the décor could use a helping hand._

Stark white walls littered with drab paintings. A large window sits to my right, the shades drawn. There is a monitor beside me, just then it strikes me I'm lying in a bed.

_A_ hospital _bed…_

_What happened? And why is Edward here? Where's Alice? She's my emergency contact. Ow…my head._

Answering my unasked questions Edward tells me I was found unconscious in my office. He and Alice found me and called nine-one-one.

Memories rush back to me in an instant.

_"Why did you come here, to my place of business! This is crossing a line, Jacob." _

_ "Aw, Bells, don't be like that. I just miss you." His voice rang with insincerity. An evil grin curled the corners of his beautiful mouth, making it appear hideous. _

_ "Jake, I was finished with you the second you pushed—"_

_ "Stop!" he interrupted me, holding up his hands. "You promised, remember?"_

_ "Of course I remember, Jake," I felt as though the wind had been knocked from my lungs, my ears began to ring. I had to strain to hear Jacob as images from our last meeting flooded my brain._

_ "I just dropped by to make sure you haven't said anything about our little…accident to anyone."_

_ Struggling to draw a breath, I answered him with all the hate I could muster, "No…you..." _

_Unable to finish my sentence, Jake bent down to kiss the top of my head. My hands were on my knees while I tried to breathe, so all I saw was Jake's feet as he left my office._

_Please, God, don't let him…_

_It was too much. My eyes rolled up into my head…_

All I can remember is blackness, up until now. Tears burn the back of my eyes as I look at Edward. Numbly, I reach out to him, not really paying attention to what I'm doing. I just need to feel someone's arms around me. Edward is all too willing to comply.

I have gone from sitting in a sterile hospital bed, to being wrapped in warm, strong arms, the best I've felt in a long time. Pressed tightly up against his chest, my breathing quickens again, but not from fear.

_Let yourself feel, Bella._

"Oh, Edward," I sob into his silk tie.

"Shh, Bella, you don't have to say anything," Edward starts rocking me slowly, back and forth, back and forth. My tears slowly subside. I draw in a shaky breath, sitting up.

"Where's Ally?" I look around and notice her purse on the window sill.

"She just ran down to the cafeteria for some coffee."

"How long have I been out?" I glance at the window and see through the cracks in the blinds that the sun has long since set.

"A few hours - it's about ten thirty. The doctors just want to keep you overnight to monitor you. As long as everything looks okay, you can be released tomorrow." Edward starts shifting, looking uncomfortable.

Seeing discomfort in his face, I ask Edward, "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Well, Bella, the police are here and they'd like to speak with you."

"What?!? Why?" My brain flies into hyper speed, trying to recall what had happened. What did I do?

"Hey, it's okay, Bella," Edward takes my hand in his squeezing gently. "They just want to find out what the creep did to you."

"What do you mean?" I feel so confused, my head is aching terribly. I rub my temple, trying to make sense of all Edward is saying.

"Honey, Alice and I found you lying on the floor of your office. Your head was bleeding."

I ignore the endearment, focusing instead on the details he's giving me.

"But, he didn't…I mean, I passed out," I mutter, absolutely horrified with myself. "I must have hit my head on my desk or something."

Raising his hand, I flinch.

Looking at me with an odd expression, quickly turning to anger, "I don't believe you, Bella. You just flinched when I moved my hand. What did that fucker do to you?"

_Wow, angry Edward, didn't think I'd ever see that!_

Feeling remorse, I apologize, "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just so tired and my head hurts. I promise you, Jake did not hurt me," _recently…_

"Well, I guess I can go tell the police. They may still want to talk to you though."

"Thank you," I begin to pray silently the cops won't come.

Edward pats my hand and leaves the room.

The second the door clicks shut, I begin to hyperventilate. I need to talk to someone, to bleed myself of this poison.

_Oh, for the love of it all, where the hell is Alice?_

As though on cue, Ally rushes through the door to my side.

"Oh, baby, are you alright? I'm so sorry I wasn't there sooner!" Alice rambles on, spouting apologies.

"It's fine, you're here now. Why did he come here, Ally? Why?" Tears pour from my eyes, causing my friend to blur at the edges.

"I don't know, Bells. What did he say?" She glances back toward the door, making sure no one is coming.

"He just said he wanted to-to-to remind me of the promise I made," my whole body is trembling. I don't want to think of the promise he made in return.

I look up into Alice's sapphire eyes, imploring her to lend me strength.

"Bella," she says, grabbing my arms. "You are the strongest person I know. The things you have lived with would be more than enough to bring any person to their knees. You showed me we could be strong. I want to tell you something. I don't want you to be angry with me."

"Oh, Alice, I—," She stopped me there, looking to the hallway again.

"I don't have too much time before we have visitors, just listen," I nod, closing my mouth. "Bella, I really think you should tell Edward what happened, no listen," she says, seeing I'm about to protest. "Let me tell you why, I think he could be good for you. You need a friend other than me. I can tell he likes you. I think you should give him a chance."

Smiling weakly, I ask her, "What about the no dating policy?"

The acceleration of my heart sounds on the machine. _What the hell is that about??_

"I'll be damned if anyone is going to get rid of our best writer," Alice smiles and stands, just as Edward comes in the room.

Edward explains that I don't need to speak with the authorities since nothing unlawful happened. A nurse bustles in as he's talking, taking my vitals, asking about my pain levels. She leaves for a moment and I feel Edward's eyes on me. Looking at him questioningly, my brows pull together.

_Ouch._

The nurse comes back, giving me a shot of something and parting with strict instructions to rest. My eyelids are growing heavy, but I focus on my train of thought.

_Alice is barking mad. I can't - won't - tell Edward. Men only let you down._

Even saying these things to myself, I can feel a softening in my hardened heart.

I can't resist the weight on my eyelashes any longer.

The last thing I see is bright green eyes, staring at me intensely.

Part of me wants to trust Edward, but it's too difficult to let go.


	9. Chapter 8

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**I am pretty sure I have the best Beta in the whole world! Sending loads of carrots your way, Red. *huge hugs***

**Twin – Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. *smooches***

**Twi-Sisters – If I didn't have you, I'm pretty sure I'd be committed.**

Chapter 8 – BPOV

It's been a couple of weeks since the whole Jacob Black debacle. I've been looking over my shoulder so much my neck is stiff. I just can't shake the feeling he's going to come back and fulfill his promise.

Sitting at my desk, I think about these last few weeks. Alice has been nagging me constantly about going out for a drink or having dinner with Edward. In fact, she's insisting I do. Alice wants everyone to be as happy as she is; she and Jasper are in love. I'm pretty skeptical, but if this is what she wants, I have to support her. I feel entirely undecided about the Edward situation. At least he hasn't asked me out since the last time I saw him at the bar. Although we have been involved in some flirtatious activity, I'm still on the fence. I feel a twinge of guilt and hope I'm not leading him on.

Luckily for me, I arrived at work early and it's still quiet. Alice and I are no longer riding together in the mornings. Most nights she stays with Jasper and he lives on the other side of town, so I get a little more time to myself.

_Like you need more time alone._

_ Thank __**you**__, bitch._

_ C'mon just give Edward a chance, then you wouldn't be alone all the time…_

_ No! _

"Bella, is everything alright?" Edward gives me a concerned look, as he walks through my office's open door.

"Yes. Why?" I can feel my brow furrowing in confusion.

_Why the hell does he have to look so good?_

Edward looks striking in a gray tailored suit. With a white shirt underneath and a slim black tie, he stands before me with his jacket unbuttoned. His green eyes are narrowed as he focuses on my face.

"You just yelled the word 'no' to the wall," he says with a chuckle.

"Oh, sorry," I feel the blood rush to my cheeks. "I was just thinking about something."

"Okay, if you're sure you're alright, I'd like to ask you a question," Edward seems nervous now.

_Here it comes, B. You need to say 'yes'. That's it, just one little word._

Clearing my throat, I squeak, "What can I do for you, Edward?"

"Well, Bella, I was just wondering if I could take you to dinner sometime." He shifts from one foot to the other.

Seeing how uncomfortable he is, I can't help but wonder why he's so nervous. Surely Edward has the pick of any girl in the building. I've seen them follow him with their eyes as he passes. An inexplicable surge of jealousy flows through me, followed by a rush of fear.

"No, Edward, I'm sorry, but no," I am firm in my decision. I wrap my arms around my middle, as though it will help me keep my grip on reality.

"Can I ask you why, Bella?" Feeling surprised by the anger in his words, my eyes widen, as I stare up at him.

"I, well, it's against office policy," I decide to lie a little, since he doesn't know Alice already gave her approval.

Edward moves toward me, fire burning in his eyes, "I know, for a fact, that is a load of horseshit! I want the truth, Bella, and I want it now."

EPOV

I know she's lying, I just don't know why. Though Bella, nor Alice, is aware that I caught part of their conversation. I knew it was wrong. I was just so desperate for some sort of explanation - some insight - I listened anyway. I discovered Bella does indeed have some secrets, from the sound of it, something pretty horrific happened in her past. I feel so drawn to her; the need to protect her is strong and fierce. It's instinctual.

Bella's beautiful mouth is wide open. She's in shock from my comment. I don't care; I need to know the truth.

_What if she simply doesn't like you?_

_ Then I'll bow out gracefully, but I am sure she feels what I do. _

I'm pretty confident about the mutual captivation between Bella and myself, or I wouldn't be asking her out.

Lowering my voice, I ask her, "Bella, please?"

"You seem so well informed, why don't you tell me?" She's very angry.

"I want to hear it from you."

"There's nothing to tell!"

I hear movement behind me; people are starting to arrive. So I close the door and shut the blinds. Coming back to stand next to Bella, who is no longer seated, I try to remain as calm as I can.

"Bella, I know that's not true. You may as well know: I overheard some of your conversation with Alice. She's okay with us dating; she's actually pushing for it. I know you're keeping something from me. Why won't you let me in?" I ask her, having difficulty keeping my emotions in check.

"You were spying? How dare you!" Bella is no longer angry, she's incensed.

Bella begins pacing across her modestly sized office. The blue walls and seascape paintings don't seem to have any sort of calming effect on her today. Each step seems to increase her irritation. Looking at her, she appears to be trembling.

"Bella, stop, just talk to me. Let me help you," I insist, holding my hand out to her.

Shoving my hand aside ferociously, Bella begins to speak. Fury lacing her words, she spits, "You want to help, huh? Well, that's wonderful. Fucking wonderful. You are a damn saint. Alright, let's see what perfect, sweet, eavesdropping Edward Cullen can do to help," she taps her chin as though she's thinking about it.

I want to stop her harsh words, but I can't. She doesn't understand I want to support her. She obviously needs to get this out, so I'm not about to interrupt.

"You can go back about, oh, I don't know, thirteen years ago and stop me from giving my heart to Jacob Black! We fell in love, had sex and I got—I mean and it fucked up everything," she stumbles over words in her anger. "You want to know what you can do to help? Why don't you just hop in your time machine and stop me from royally fucking up my life by screwing Jake. While you're at it look around for my heart, it'd be nice to have it back."

Whatever I was expecting, that was not it.

Reaching out to Bella, who now has tears flowing down her heart-shaped face, I pull her into my arms.

_Oh God, this must be what Heaven feels like._

She fits perfectly against my frame.

Bella is so small; the top of her head is level with my collarbone. Her dark, lush hair gives off the most intoxicating scent of lilacs. Her delicate fingers are splayed across my back. Feeling her warm body against mine, I can feel more than one part of myself respond to her closeness.

My hard on is pressing against her soft belly; I know she can feel it. I'm mortified, but I can't move away.

Bella pulls back and I begin to apologize, but before I can get more than a sound out she's up on her toes, kissing my neck.

A low moan escapes my lips.

For nearly three months, I have dreamt of this moment.

Bella tips her head back, and I see that her eyes are now the color of mocha. I lower my mouth, lightly resting my lips against hers. Softly, I begin plucking at her soft lips with my own. Gently, I deepen the kiss, slipping my tongue between her teeth. Bella's breath comes out in a rush, enveloping me in its sweetness.

_Pineapple Jolly Rancher?_

I taste the candy on her skin. It causes me to suck her tongue.

"Mmmm…," Bella makes the most incredible sound.

Fighting the urge to take her on the cream colored carpet, I lift her off the floor. Bella wraps her legs around my torso; I can feel her heat through my shirt. Unable to control myself, I turn to the nearest wall and press her up against it. With my newfound leverage, I bring one hand from her ass and rub my palm on her nylon covered thigh. Bella moves her hands up the back of my neck and into my hair, pulling lightly. Our tongues continue to dance to some unheard melody, until Bella nearly rips the hair from my scalp.

"Ow!" I yelp.

"Put me down," Bella sounds panicky.

Setting her back on the floor, I ask her what's wrong.

Eyes flashing, she growls, "Get out of my office."

Confusion floods my mind.

She started this.

Bella kissed me first.

"I don't understand, Bella. What did I do?"

"Nothing, Edward, just get out!" She stomps toward the door, but before she can get more than a step or two away, I grab her arm.

"No way. You're going to tell me what's going on in that head of yours. You didn't fully answer my question and you did make the first move. I'm not leaving."

"I know I did," Bella's voice sounds thick with unshed tears.

Putting my hands on both of her arms, I rub them up and down, "I'm glad you did, Bella. I've wanted to do that for a long time."

"So have I," she admits in a quiet tone.

Happiness gushes through my veins.

_Thank you, Angel. _I'm convinced Angela had a hand in this.

Pressing my lips to her forehead and taking her hands in mine, I hear Bella sigh.

"Bella, I'd like you to tell me what happened with Jake. How did he mess up your life?"

Glaring up at me through her dark lashes, Bella says, "I'll tell you, but then I want you to leave me the hell alone."


	10. Chapter 9

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**I have to send out huge thanks to my beta Red. You are one of the busiest women I know, but you always have time for me! Love and carrots to you, baby!**

**To my Twiny. I love our pervtastic conversations, you absolutely light up my days! Love you, girl! MCMCMCMC *giggle***

**Twi-Sisters, you rock my world on a daily basis! Sparklicious cupcakes!**

**To my readers, I love you for sticking with me. To my reviewers, I want to send you gallons of frosting…tons of sprinkles….sorry, got sidetracked…I effing love you reviewers, that's what I'm trying to say!**

Chapter Nine – EPOV

_She's going to tell me. Holy hell._

Bella walks to one of the two chairs in front of her desk, gesturing for me to take the other. I comply with a feeling of dread. I'm suddenly overcome with doubt.

_Do I really want to know?_

_ Of course you do – it's all you ever think about. Well, that and her ass…_

Forcing the wayward thought out of my mind, I focus on Bella's face.

Her eyes are red-rimmed and scared.

Her eyebrows are pinched together.

She has pulled her lip between her teeth and is chewing.

Reaching up, I use the pad of my thumb to save her lips from the inevitable rawness.

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" Saying this brings her words back to me in a rush.

_"I'll tell you, but then I want you to leave me the hell alone."_

I know she's just frightened and doesn't really mean it…at least, I hope she doesn't.

Nodding her head slowly and drawing in a shaky breath, Bella begins to speak.

"When I was a little more than a year old, my parents, Charlie and Renee Swan, decided to get divorced. Actually, my mother left my father. Charlie was helping my mother move across Phoenix to a new apartment. That was the day my life was changed irrevocably." Bella stops and inhales deeply, as though steeling herself for what is coming next. Letting her breath out in a rush, she goes on.

"My parents had left me with my godfather, Billy Birmingham. Something went wrong while they were taking a load of our things to our new place. A semi ran a red light and hit the driver's side door. My father died instantly, and my mother suffered some head trauma. She was in a coma for a month. I stayed with Billy, because neither of my parents had any other family. When my mother woke up she was devastated. Her first and only love was dead. She was left alone with her baby."

Noticing the glisten in her eyes, I reach across her desk, grab a box of tissues, and offer it to her. Bella waves it off, preparing to continue her story.

"No one really knows all the details, because Renee had no family and Billy passed away shortly after my second birthday. My first memory is from age four. I woke up in the middle of the night and my mother was under some guy on our couch. He was dropping pills into her open mouth. They were naked and the floor was littered with empty cans and bottles.

"From that moment on, Phil became a permanent fixture in our dismal lives.

"I began taking care of myself around the age of five or six, because Phil and Renee were always too high or drunk to care about my well being. I learned how to do my own laundry and get ready for school alone. My mother never made me lunch or tied pretty ribbons in my hair…" Bella trails off, tears flowing silently down her porcelain cheeks.

I lift my hand to stroke her face. The moment my skin meets hers, Bella's body stiffens.

Pulling my hand back, I say to her, "Bella, if it's difficult for you to talk about, you don't need to continue. I don't want you to be in pain."

"No, Edward, you need to understand. As much as I'd like to say yes to you, it's just not possible. I don't want to lead you on. That kiss should not have happened. I apologize. I do not date; I only take from men what I can't get on my own. Please, just let me get this out."

My heart is in my throat. I don't know what to say. Bella wants me, but regrets it? Is Bella telling me she only uses men for sex? _What?_ Swallowing back my confusion, I nod to her.

Bella forges on with a hardened look.

"For years I took care of myself. Renee and Phil did their own thing, somehow supporting our household. It wasn't until I moved into foster care I learned their means of income. Phil was a drug dealer. He eventually pushed her into selling. Renee was caught in a sting operation when I was fourteen years old. She was sent to prison and I was forced into the Black's house. When I moved in I was treated like some sort of pariah by my foster parents. Victoria and James shoved me into the attic bedroom, trying to forget I existed.

"One day when I was sitting on my shabby twin-sized bed, there was a tap at my door. That's when I met Jake for the first time," Bella pauses and a dreamy look crosses her face as she remembers.

"Jacob was Victoria's pride and joy. Her son could do no wrong, and I could see why. He was beautiful, sweet, and caring, everything his mother was not. It didn't take long before we were spending all of our time together and discussing our plans for the future. Jake had graduated from high school the year before and had taken a year off. In the fall he would be attending college. I was a freshman, but Jake said he wouldn't mind waiting for me. When I graduated, we were going to get married. It was all I wanted. I wanted to be loved and have someone take care of me. I loved him so much. I remember the day I gave myself to him. It was the sixteenth of April and Jake's parents were gone for the night. He was gentle and kind, not minding one bit that I was clueless and awkward. My life changed from that one act. Everything was blissful; aside from the fact Victoria did not approve of our plans. She was needlessly vicious to me, but I took it in stride. I knew she couldn't stop us."

A dry, humorless chuckle escapes her lips and Bella goes on, "Little did I know that one moment of passion led to a pregnancy. I was two months along before I took a test. When it came back positive, I told Jake, who insisted I go to the free clinic. They confirmed what I already knew and gave me a return appointment and a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I was bound and determined to take care of my baby, no matter how Jake reacted. I wasn't about to let my weak, poor excuse for a mother influence me; I would be the best mother any child ever had. Jake wanted me to get an abortion, when I refused, he became distant…cold."

I can feel bile build within me, threatening to erupt. Feeling sickened by what I'm hearing, I clench my jaw and my hands tighten on the arms of the chair. I want to stop the flow of words, but I'm unable. She needs to expel the horror of her past in order to move on.

The dreamy look is now a distant memory, as a mask of anger and sorrow takes place of the angelic face I've grown accustomed to seeing. Bella draws in a breath and continues, "It was as though he wanted to teach me a lesson. Jake began parading women around the house, showing me I was just a pawn – expendable – to him. I vowed not to let Jake, or any other man, affect my life. I would make my own way in this world.

"Another couple of months passed and my belly began to grow. I was just starting to show; when I thought it would be a good idea to tell Victoria. She flew into a frenzy screaming at me, calling me appalling names. When Jake came home from God knows where, she confronted him. He denied paternity, claiming I had been with all of his friends. I was so hurt, so crushed; I fled to my room and began packing. I made up my mind to move into one of those homes for pregnant teens."

I sit, completely stunned into silence. I want to pull her into my arms and erase her horrible memories. _My poor, sweet, broken Bella. _

_ Someone is full of delusions – She's not yours idiot. _

Bella sat, staring into the corner of the room, a look of intense hatred on her face.

"Bella," I ask her softly, "what happened to the baby?"

As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret my inquiry. Mentally, I am smacking myself for being unable to control the word vomit spewing forth.

Gradually, her heart-shaped face rested on mine, her eyes dead and cold.

"The baby. Well, I don't have her, now do I? That's all you need to know."

"I'm sorry to have asked. Can you tell me more about your mother?" I ask her the first thing that comes to my mind, in order to distract her from thoughts of a child she may, or may not, have had. I'm having an extremely hard time restraining my questions. As terrible as all of this is, I want to know every detail of Bella's past life. I need to know everything, so I can attempt to understand.

_You mean, so you can change her mind._

_ Focus!_ I don't want to miss a word she says.

"Renee, poor ignorant, moronic Renee. She was released from prison after five years for giving information that led to Phil's arrest. Renee called me from her half-way house to let me know she wanted to see me. As she was unable to leave the state, she wanted me to fly down to see her. I told her I had no interest in seeing her. It took less than two days for Phil's men to catch up with her."

I want to rip my brain from my skull and scrape all this newfound information from my memory. I cannot begin to imagine the depth of pain and loss this woman beside me must carry with her every day of her existence. I take Bella's fragile hand in mine, she does not fight me. I can feel the slight tremble coursing through her delicate frame. Thinking frantically, I try to bring a happier memory to the surface.

"Bella, can you tell me how you met Alice?"

Finally, a true smile, albeit a small one, lifts her lips. Bella sighs, "Ally came into the home around a year after I did. She was amazing. She still is. Alice flew into the attic room, containing an energy I wouldn't have believed possible for someone who had just lost her parents. When I asked her how she could be so positive after losing them, she answered simply, 'They would want me to be happy.' Alice's optimism was palpable. I couldn't help but trust her. We became friends right away; she brought me back to life. If it wasn't for Alice, I'm not sure I'd be here now."

As though she is being paged, there is a light tap on the door, followed by a, "Bella, honey?" and Alice comes to Bella's rescue once more.

With a wooden smile, Bella rises to open her door and let Alice in. She comes in and Bella closes the door behind her, dashing her hand across her cheeks to remove any teary evidence. I am sitting in the chair, still gripping the arm rests, when Alice looks back and forth between the two of us. Her eyes widen and she stares at Bella, who sighs and nods her head.

"Bella, you told him?" Alice asks, shock coloring her question.

"Yes, Ally, I had to," Bella turns to me, the haunted expression still evident in her eyes. "Edward, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave. I hope you now have a better understanding of my situation."

Nodding somberly, I walk numbly toward the door. When my hand is on the knob, Alice stops me with a gentle touch. "Edward, feel free to take the remainder of your day off."

"Thanks, Alice," I mumble.

So many hours have passed; I'm not sure what time it is anymore.

I took Alice's advice and came home. I walked in and grabbed the first booze I could find from the freezer, a glass from the cupboard and plopped myself on the couch.

I've drunk my way through an entire bottle of rum and I still feel as though I can't process what happened this morning. Although the alcohol could be hindering more than helping.

Attempting to focus on the day's events, I lower my glass from my mouth and remember: One minute I'm mouth fucking Bella against the wall of her office, the next I'm hearing about her aversion to men, or rather her aversion to relationships. I feel fairly confident I understand her comment about her sexual exploits.

As I work through everything on my own, I can't help but feel I should be with Bella. She's completely alone in this world, with the exception of Alice. She has friends in Emmett and Rosalie, but I'm not sure they know all the gory details.

The thing puzzling me the most is the baby. Though it didn't occur to me at the time, Bella referred to the child as 'her'. She had to have given birth to have known the sex. Did she give her up for adoption? That doesn't make sense. Bella said she wanted the baby. She wanted to be a good mother.

Then again, another part of my mind argues, maybe Bella decided the best way to be a good mother was to put her up for adoption.

Out of nowhere a possibility occurs to me. It shocks me so much I drop my glass on the floor.

I sit, frozen as the thought sinks in, the amber colored liquid soaking into my white carpet.

What if Jake has the child? That would scar her more than anything the pitiful creature she called 'mother' ever did. Having the father of her child deny its paternity, just to snatch her away…

_My God. _

It's no surprise Bella wants nothing to do with men. I want to kill the bastard myself.

Maybe that's how I can help.

_I'm going to find her child!_

_ You are such a fucking moron! You don't know what happened! _

I calm down after my voice of reason speaks up. It must be the effects of the rum. Looking down, I notice my carpet has soaked up all the alcohol.

_Hmm…Maybe I could suck it out…_

Picturing myself on my hands and knees, mouth to the floor, I decide it's time for bed.

_I'll call a carpet cleaner tomorrow._

Stripping off all my clothes in the hall and chucking them into the laundry room, I stumble to my bed. There are a million thoughts flooding my cloudy mind. While I'm trying to get comfortable, I decide I'll let Bella have her wish. She told me she didn't want to see me anymore.

I'm going to leave Bella alone.


	11. Chapter 10

**All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.**

**I have to say the biggest thank you ever to my beta. This has been a team effort. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into my fic! Big loves and hugs to you!**

**Thank you to my Twin, Mamasita and Sister. You guys are so supportive and I love you loads! *hugs*smooches***

**Sorry it's been so long…RL is a b*$! sometimes! Thanks for sticking with me! **

Chapter Ten – BPOV

Watching Edward walk out the door feels wrong.

_Come back! Hold me in your arms…_

_ You don't want that, not really…You're just feeling vulnerable; do you really want him to take advantage of that vulnerability? _

With a slight shudder, I turn to face Alice and the ensuing inquisition.

"Okay, Ally, what do you want to know?" I make an attempt at being proactive in the hopes I'll come out of this with my sanity intact.

"Bella, first of all, I want you to know I think it's incredible that you opened up to Edward. Does this mean what I think it means?" Alice looks at me intently.

"Probably not. What do you think it means?"

"Well, I'm assuming you've told Edward so you can attempt a relationship with him. I agree wholeheartedly. It will go so much smoother if he is aware…" Alice trails off after seeing my head shake slightly.

I sigh, releasing a deep breath, and grab the box of tissues off my desk. After cleaning my face I decide to be honest with my best friend, my only family.

"Ally, I told him because I want him to know why we can't date. I feel like I'm leading him on sometimes…I mean, just before I told him we were pressed up against my wall making out like lust-driven teenagers," I shake my head at my own stupidity.

A squeal pierces my eardrums.

I bring my hands up to preserve whatever is left of my hearing.

"For God's sake, Alice!"

I watch Ally jumping up and down in my office, clapping her hands like a little girl who's just been given a pony.

"I'm so excited! This is the start of it all!" she trills.

Clearly, she's blocked out the part where I said I _couldn't _date him.

"What the hell are you talking about? You're a crazy little psycho, did you know that?" I inform her with a smile. This is one of the multitudes of things I love about my Ally. She carries an undeniable aura of exuberance about her in a way that cannot be ignored.

Ally walks slowly toward me, as though she's afraid of frightening me away. "Bella, I don't want to freak you out too badly, especially after the morning you've had, but I just know Edward is the one."

Turning away from her, I can feel anger coursing through me, swift and sure.

_Breathe. Take a second before you speak._ I have to calm myself before I say a word. _Make light of it. She didn't mean anything malicious by it._ The rational part of my brain takes over. "Sorry, Ally, I could never be with someone who is prettier than I am. It's killer on the ego."

Rolling her eyes, Alice starts to mutter something about people not seeing things clearly.

Instead of becoming angry with my best friend, who is, after all, only trying to help, I attempt to change the subject.

"So, Ally, speaking of 'the one', how are things with you and Jasper?" I turn back to her, lifting a sardonic brow.

Alice points a slender finger at me, "Oh, no you don't! We're talking about _you_."

Sighing in defeat, I invite Alice to have a seat.

"Alright, what else is there? Yes, I told Edward. No, it doesn't mean what you want it to mean. What's your next question?"

"Bella," a serious look has replaced Ally's once jubilant expression, "what did you tell him about the baby?"

The burning, raw ache sitting low in my belly flares up insistently, bringing on fresh tears.

"Ally, why does it still hurt so much? Every time I think of my beautiful daughter, her tiny, perfect face…" I trail off, letting the pain wash over me.

Alice leans over and wraps her arms around my quivering shoulders.

"I don't know, sweetie. Just let it out. You know, I want to kill that motherfucker, Jake, for doing this to you."

Ally issuing death threats is enough to ebb the flow of tears, and a watery chuckle escapes my lips. Sniffling pitifully, I sit up, grabbing yet another tissue.

"Well, Ally, I didn't really tell Edward much at all about her. I told him Jake got me pregnant and turned into an asshole, so I was going to one of those homes for pregnant teens. Edward asked where she was and I told him I didn't have her and that was all he needed to know."

"In other words, you only glazed over your past."

"No, I told him about Charlie and Renee, even Phil. Obviously he knows about Victoria and James, too. And I told him about you…how you saved me." Looking up, I see Ally's eyes glisten before she clears her throat delicately.

The action draws my attention to a tiny heart-shaped ruby, attached to a fragile looking silver chain hanging from around her neck. I've never seen this before.

"Ally, where'd you get that pretty necklace?" I reach my hand out and lift the charm. Upon closer inspection, I notice the miniature emerald leaves at the top.

_A strawberry?_

Blinking in confusion, I look up into Alice's face awash with crimson. Dropping the charm, I feel a true smile break across my face and begin to laugh.

"Why, Miss Alice, whatever are we blushing for?" I tease.

"Oh, it's nothing, just a little gift from Jasper. He knows I…uh…like strawberries."

Obviously there is some piece of information I'm not privy to…yet. As much as I'd love to have details, I'm not sure she's ready to share with me.

"I'm going to let you off the hook today, Alice. You can tell me the juicy details another time. Though, since you've been with Jasper, we've barely spent any time together. So, I say, let's have a girl's night out! There's a new club opening and I don't feel like going alone," I say giving her my best 'puppy-dog' eyes.

I need a drink, a very large one. Not to mention, I haven't gotten laid since the almost encounter with Felix. It would be nice to have Alice along for some support.

"Well, I think that sounds like fun! What's the new club called?" Ally sounds genuinely excited.

"MC."

"That's it? Just 'MC'?" Alice asks with a bemused expression.

"Yeah. So, Jasper won't mind you coming with me?" I ask, carefully watching her expression for any sign of distress. It's been an emotional rollercoaster already today.

Ally looks at me, her sapphire eyes full of remorse, "Bells, have I really been that bad? I'm so sorry; I just never thought I could feel this way…"

Feeling entirely guilty for my comment, I assure her she hasn't done anything wrong. "Oh, it's just been an adjustment, that's all. I'm used to having you all to myself. I know it's selfish, but it's been just the two of us for so long. You know I love you and only want you to be happy. Does Jasper make you happy?"

"Bella, I love him. He makes me deliriously happy. I promise. I think he's going to propose!" Alice is bouncing, a pure ball of joy and happiness once again.

I; however, have to hide my shock and force my fear back with a smile. Stumbling over my words, I attempt a show of excitement for Alice's benefit.

"Wow, Ally! That's incredible, but isn't it a little bit soon to be talking about engagements?" I want to show my support for her without allowing her to get carried away.

"Well, we've been together for just about three months…I know it doesn't seem long, but it feels as though I've known him for a hundred years. We're in love." She shrugs, sounding so sure.

Ignoring the blatant fear pulsating in my veins, I become aware of a small, glimmering pool of hope. I thought I'd pulled the plug and drained all of that emotion from my being. It's buried deep in my chest, ripples marring its surface, but it is there.

_I hope someday I can feel as happy as Alice…_

_ Whoa, girl! Stop right—_

_ Oh, shut up!_ I scream internally, placing heavy-duty duct tape across my inner bitch's mouth.

Smiling, I look at Alice, who is waving her tiny hand in front of my face. I place my hand on hers, pushing her arm back to her side and giving her my full attention once again.

"You feeling okay there, Bells? You zoned out for a minute or two."

"I'm fine; I was just having an epiphany of sorts." After the horrible morning I've had I can't believe I'm about to say this, but it's time. "Ally, I am truly happy for you, I hope you and Jasper will be very happy together. I wish you nothing but the best."

"Um…Bella, he hasn't actually asked me yet," Alice informs me, giggling.

We spend the remainder of the day getting very little work done, choosing instead to discuss Alice and Jasper's impending nuptials. The only thing undecided is when Jazz will pop the question. We also decide I need to get to know the man who has undoubtedly stolen my best friend's heart. Changing our plan for a girl's night out, we invite Jasper to come along.

Slipping my key into the lock, I open my apartment door with a heavy sigh.

I had a wonderful time with the happy couple. I am in full agreement with Alice. Jasper will ask her to marry him. It is inevitable. I think I'm more surprised by how little terror it brings me now. After seeing them together, spending time with them as a couple, I feel reassured. While the thought of myself getting married scares the hell out of me, I think Alice will be very happy with Jasper.

This feeling of acceptance for such a foreign concept is shocking…but peaceful.

I walk through my living room, dropping my purse and keys on the kitchen counter, kicking my shoes off as I go. The only light in the room is a faint green glow coming from the clock on my stove. Making my way carefully to my bedroom, I strip my clothes off, exhausted from my day.

I remember telling Edward to 'leave me the hell alone', and I am already regretting my words. It couldn't hurt to just talk with him, could it?

My bitchier self is struggling with the duct tape, her eyes narrowing in anger. I close the door on her tonight.

I am filled with thoughts of the beautiful green-eyed man. I've opened up to him in a way I never have before, other than with Ally…and the police.

Pushing back that less than pleasant thought, I focus on my well of hope. I am looking forward to tomorrow.

I'm going to call Edward, I need to apologize.

With a heavy sigh, I curl up in my bed to sleep, only to dream of a green-eyed knight in shining armor. Literally.

_As I escape through a small hidden doorway, I am terrified the King will find out I've left again. Looking back at the palace, I shake my head before continuing down the small dirt path. My father doesn't approve of such outings. That's why I don't tell him._

_Walking among the commoners is always dangerous, but exciting! _

_I am looking at the street vendors' wares when I notice a man seems to be watching me. I head in another direction and he follows. I make another attempt to lose him and he's still there. My heart begins to race. I regret my decision to sneak down from the castle without an escort. _

_I take a turn down a shortcut I know. A man is standing at the other end of the ally. I whirl in the other direction to find my exit also blocked. I stand there, too stunned to move. The men are closing in on me. I can hear them chuckling and making jokes to each other._

_I start to pray._

_A whinny cuts through my prayer followed by a loud voice, "Move aside, lest I kill you where you stand."_

_I look up to see my betrothed, atop his white stallion, sword drawn. _

_One of the men looks at me, then at the gleaming weapon. He grabs his cohort and flees. _

_Placing his sword in its sheath, he brings the horse closer to where I am._

"_You are in so much trouble, Isabella. You are under strict instructions not to leave the palace without your guard." He dismounts and heads toward me, but I'm still too shaken to move._

_Crouching down, his hand touches mine, still folded in prayer. After releasing them from their clenched position, he pulls me to my feet. _

"_My savior," I whimper, looking up into his bright green eyes._

"_You are lucky I followed you today." A haunted look takes over his face, "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."_

_Still speaking in a whisper, I say, "You're always around when I need you. Thank you."_

_Lifting me in his arms, he presses his lips to mine._

"_I will always do my best to keep you safe. You are my life. I love you, Isabella."_

"_And I love you, Edward."_

This has been one of the longest Saturdays of my life. I want to call Edward, I need to call him. After being haunted by him all night long, I can't get him out of my head. I may not want to be in a relationship, but dinner with him is sounding more and more appealing. The only problem is, I'm not sure when it would be okay to call him.

Sitting and staring at the phone number Edward wrote on a scrap of paper, I am lost in a memory.

When I asked Edward for his phone number, he had trouble keeping the look of excitement from his face…until I told him I wanted to be able to check on his progress over the weekend. Looking slightly less excited, he scribbled down his contact information in his elegant script.

My fingers trace over the numbers hoping to make him smile once again. The question is: When?

I'm completely lost in thought, unsure of how to say the words. When most girls were learning the art of flirting, I was locked away in my attic room. The only thing I feel confident in is the ability to get a man in my bed.

Shaking off my fear, I check my phone for the time.

Eleven-thirty.

_Is this too early to call?_

_You won't know until you try._

I draw in a deep breath while scrolling through my contacts. Pressing send, I am aware of my heart racing at an uncontrollable pace.

One ring…

Two rings…

Three rings…

"Hello?" Oh, that is the sexiest I've ever heard his voice, all gravelly and low.

"Hi, Edward, it's Bella, I was wondering if you had a minute to talk. I have something important to tell you and I didn't want to wait until Monday…" I trail off, realizing I sound like an imbecilic teenager.

"Sure, I can talk." He clears his throat, "What's on your mind? I was under the impression you had nothing left to say to me."

Oh, shit…

"Look, I really wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I'm sorry. I was afraid and I didn't know how to handle it. I came to a—"

"Bella, look, I get it. You aren't interested in me. That's fine. I don't need a pity call."

Whatever I was expecting, anger wasn't it.

"But, that's what I wanted to tell you. I _am_ interested in you. I saw the light, I guess you could say. I wanted to ask if your offer for dinner was still open. Is it?" I suck in a breath, terrified by my aplomb and anxious for a response.

Through the phone I hear a heaving sigh. In my mind's eye, I can see him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but…no."

**A/N: I promise you won't have to wait so long for an update next time. I already have a good start on the next chapter. FYI: I love reviews. Just thought you'd like to know…**


	12. Chapter 11

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer and her brilliant mind. Everything else belongs to the author, JustineNicole6.**

**Thank you to my Red. You rock my world, baby!**

**Much loves to my Twin, thank you for supporting me each and every day. *smooch***

**Sorry it has taken me so long to update...RL was being a bitch again. If you're still with me after a month, I heart you loads and loads!  
**

Chapter Eleven – EPOV

Sighing heavily, I say the words I didn't think I'd ever say to Bella, "I'm sorry, Bella, but no."

"Oh, okay," her voice sounds forced, as though she's holding back tears, "sorry to bother you."

"No, you've—"

She cuts me off with a click, her phone disconnecting from mine.

I hang up the phone, not at all certain about what just happened.

_You do realize the girl of your dreams just asked you out, right?_

_ Yes, I realize that. I'm not completely lacking a brain, but I made a decision and I'm going to stand by it._

_ You. Are. A. Dumbfuck._

_ Fantastic._ Even the voice in my head is pissed.

Glancing at the clock, I see that it's past noon.

_Well, I guess I should get up._

I call Emmett to see if he'd like to join me at the gym, since I have a need to work out some aggression. He must hear how distracted I sound, because he readily agrees, or it could just be Emmett wanting to hit something. Whatever his reason, we decide to meet in half an hour. Hanging up the phone, I click on the T.V. to kill some time. Rather than seeing the pictures on the screen, my mind is running through possible outcomes to this morning's conversation. So far I do not like anything I've come up with. I find waiting to be an impossible feat, so I take off a little earlier than planned.

With the gym being only a few blocks away, I decide to walk through the ever present drizzle. After changing into workout clothes, I make a beeline to the perfect outlet for my irritation. The grim expression on my face is set as I tear into my exercise with gusto. The punching bag becomes the victim of my anger.

All I can think about is Bella's phone call and my response. _Did I really tell her no? Is that what I want?_ Feeling incredibly annoyed with the way I handled the situation, abusing my body feels appropriate. I work the bag until sweat is pouring off me. A thought comes to mind that only frustrates me further: Had I not been hung over, I may have been able to explain my answer to Bella. I didn't mean it; I don't know why I said it. My t-shirt is soaked by the time Emmett finally arrives and I'm still beating the shit out of the punching bag.

"Hey, Ed, why don't you take a break," he says, after looking me over.

"No," I gasp, not pausing to take a breath.

"Then, let me spot you." Emmett moves around to the back of the bag and holds it, watching me as he does.

I nod and land a wicked left hook.

Emmett gives me a look that is impressed as well as concerned. I feel as though I cause him to look that way a lot lately. With a sigh, I concede to the fact that I'm going to have to tell Emmett what's going on now.

I continue punching and say, "You want to know what's bugging me?"

"Yeah, it'd be nice to know who you're kicking the shit out of here…you know…in your mind."

"Got it, Em." I roll my eyes at him.

With an impatient sounding grunt, he gives me a look that clearly says, _get on with it._

Steeling myself, I keep up with my workout and let the words fall out in a rush, "BellaaskedmeoutandItoldherno."

Emmett is so thrown by this revelation he isn't paying any attention to the punching bag and it plows into him, knocking him on his ass.

For the first time today, I begin to laugh. I step around the swinging bag and reach a hand out to Emmett who is glaring at me furiously from his seat on the padded floor.

"What the hell do you mean, 'told her no'? Are you a complete jackass?"

"I'm thinking so." I sigh as I attempt to explain, "Look, she threw me for a loop and I don't know what to do. Last night I made up my mind to leave her alone, because that's what she told me she wanted. Then this morning she called and woke me up. I was hung over and not in the right frame of mind…"

"Okay, so you do want to go out with her then, right?" Emmett's expression is shifting between killing me and kissing me. He'll probably decide based on how I answer his question. I'm not sure I like either option.

"It's not that simple."

"Not to sound like a total chick or anything, but, do you want to talk about it?"

I laugh, "Yeah, I'd like to say it all out loud so I can figure out what the hell I'm going to do. How does lunch sound?"

"I could eat. The diner across the street has killer burgers."

And with that, we head into the locker room.

We sit down at a table and check out the menus. After the waitress leaves us to place our orders, Emmett looks at me expectantly.

"So, what's not simple about the Bella thing? Either you do or you don't want to go out with her."

"Yes, of course I would love to take her out. I'm just not convinced that's really what she wants. Just yesterday she told me to, and I quote, 'leave her the hell alone' then this morning she calls and wants to take me up on my offer for a date. I don't know, Em, I just want her to be sure. Of course, now she probably won't want to talk to me again." I sigh heavily, feeling somewhat unsure myself.

"Why don't you just call her?"

"I don't know what to say. I can't just tell her what's going on in my head; she'll think I'm certifiable."

Emmett gives me a pointed look.

"Shut up." I roll my eyes.

"I didn't say anything."

Just then, our food arrives and we tuck in.

We sit eating in companionable silence when something catches my eye.

_Was that lightning?_

I look out the window and see the rain falling relentlessly and…is that _Bella_?

Without thinking, I drop my fork and run to the door. She's just about to hop in a cab, so I push open the door and sprint to catch her.

"Bella!"

She turns; her look of surprise quickly changes to one of embarrassment.

"Hi," she mumbles, as raindrops roll down her cheeks. They look like tears and my heart leaps to my throat. "I was just on my way to-" Bella wobbles and my hand shoots out to steady her.

"Can we talk?" I ask, squeezing her fingers gently before releasing them. I hate myself for putting this look of uncertainty in her eyes.

She nods and leans in the cab to ask the driver if he wouldn't mind waiting.

I watch Bella's shapely backside as she speaks with the cabbie. I'm startled by my phone ringing in my pocket; it's Emmett.

He lets me know he paid the bill and that I'm paying next time. I laugh and tell him I'll call him later. I click the phone shut with an apology to Bella.

"Sorry to stop you like this, but I want to talk to you about this morning."

"You don't have to. You already told me you didn't want to go out with me. I understand; there's no need to beat a dead horse."

Standing here in the rain with Bella, I feel pieces fall into place.

_I could love this woman._

Looking into her eyes, I realize just how much I hurt her. She put herself out on a limb and I may as well have cut the tree down with her still in it. Bella never lets anyone in and she made an enormous leap by calling me. I feel more awful than before.

_It's time to make this right. _

I lift Bella's hand to my lips, which are freezing by now, and place a gentle kiss on her fingertips. "Bella, I would love to get to know you better. How would you like to go out to dinner with me?" _I'd like so much more, but it's going to take time._

She pulls her hand back with a look of pure confusion, and possibly a bit of anger. "You already know my past and you already told me you didn't want to go out with me, so what the hell do you think you're doing?" She chokes on the last word. My arms ache to hold her. She sounds crushed. I wish I could take back the last five hours.

"I want to get to know _you_, Bella, not your past. I know what I said earlier. I was feeling a bit confused myself. Yesterday you said you wanted me to leave you alone and that is what I planned on doing. Honestly, I wasn't going to bother you any more. Then you called and now…I'm so sorry, Bella." I look deep into the chocolate-filled pools of her eyes and I see something different – something warmer, perhaps.

Still sounding a bit unsure, she answers with a slight nod, "Alright, Edward."

I don't remember much past this, because all I can comprehend is the feeling of exultation for the one small word I'm sure will change my life inexorably. We're making plans and I try to focus. Somehow through the blinding happiness, I arrange to pick her up at her apartment in a few hours. We're going for a late dinner and a midnight movie.

I open the car door and throw the driver some money, adding a large tip for making him wait. Bella thanks me and slips onto the vinyl seat. I apologize for keeping her out in the rain and she shrugs it off, insisting it was no trouble at all. I close the door behind her and wave as the car pulls away. Her smile shines from the window as she waves back.

With a smile of my own, I head for my apartment in the downpour, not caring one bit about my drenched state.

It's a quarter to eight and time for me to pick up Bella. My heart is pounding and my palms feel sweaty. I'm so nervous; one might think I have never been on a date before tonight.

The voice in my head is calling me all sorts of names, the nicest of them being _ridiculous moron_.

I put all negative thoughts from my mind and concentrate on making Bella as comfortable with me as possible. I know she doesn't _date_, per say, but I'm hoping to change that.

The drive to Bella's apartment is a short one.

It's a good thing, or I might chicken out.

I'm not sure why I'm so anxious; I talk to Bella every day at work. I just have to tread more carefully than before if I want to make her mine. I'm willing to have a friendly dinner with her, but it's going to take some major convincing to extend it beyond friendship.

I've never had to think so much about my dating approach; it happened so naturally with Angela. While I'm sitting at a light, waiting for it to change, I send up a prayer to her, hoping for her patient guidance. I reach over and turn the radio up.

_When you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back on you,_

_Give me a moment, please, to tame your wild, wild heart._

_I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you,_

_It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold._

_When darkness is upon your door, and you feel like you can't take anymore._

I feel as though Angela is whispering in my ear, telling me to take it slow and not to give up. This was our song.

_Let me be the one you call; if you jump, I'll break your fall._

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night._

_If you need to fall apart, I can mend your broken heart._

_If you need to crash, then crash and burn; you're not alone._

The light changes and I pull through it, feeling much more hopeful than before.

_Thank you, Angie._

I see Bella's apartment complex and turn into the parking lot. I head in and walk up the flight of stairs to her floor. Standing in front of her door, I take several calming breaths before knocking.

_Tap, tap, tap._

I hear her muted footsteps coming closer.

The door opens to reveal a miserable looking Bella.

"Hi, Edward, come on in. I just have to slip my shoes ah-ah-_achoo_!" Bella holds a tissue under her nose just in the nick of time.

"Bless you!"

"Thank you. Sorry about that." A blush creeps to her face.

"No apologies necessary. Are you feeling alright? We can reschedule."

"No, no, we don't need to do that. I'm fine, really!"

She waves me into the living room, which is light and airy. There's a warm and welcoming color pallet, but for some reason it feels a little unexpected. It's beautiful, definitely, but I imagined a more state-of-the-art décor. I feel at home as she shows me to her large, plush couch. I sit and am enveloped by the smell of Bella. Inhaling deeply, I am overcome by her sweet, floral scent.

_Hey, Bella is talking to you! _

_Oops._

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Oh, I was just saying that we could order in, if you'd rather…there's a movie on I've wanted to watch." Bella hesitates, looking a little sheepish, "I'm afraid I'm feeling a little worse than I thought."

"I'd really like that," I say, giving her an appraising glance, "but only if you are sure you're up to it."

She drops onto the couch beside me, giving me a serious look. I feel an all too familiar clench in my gut. _Please, don't kick me out._

"Before you say yes, you should be aware of what you're agreeing to."

I nod, wondering what she could possibly reveal to me after everything yesterday.

Bella takes in a deep breath and picks up a remote controller. She releases her breath in a gust, "I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with old movies."

Taking in her expression, I begin to laugh. This is not at all what I was expecting. It's a million times better! Bella has told me something about herself – something genuine.

Bella's clear laugh joins mine and my heart starts to race. Not to mention the jolt to my crotch.

_Get your head out of her pants; she's sick, for crying out loud!_

"Bella," I say, trying to catch my breath, "I would love to watch an old movie with you. And don't worry," I lower my voice conspiratorially, "I won't tell anyone." I wink, feeling incredibly silly and relishing in the playfulness with this beautiful woman.

This brings on a fresh round of giggles from Bella.

_This is going to be a fun night._


	13. Chapter 12

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. Everything else belongs to JustineNicole6. **

Thank you to my fabulous and insanely talented beta, Red. You rock.

Twin, thanks for the pervtacular conversations...without them we wouldn't have the best accidental word ever! Ha!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I know I did. Stay tuned for further details and pimping.

Chapter Twelve – BPOV

Last night was so wonderful, I'm sure it had to have been a dream.

Lying, curled around a pillow, I stare out my bedroom window. The sun is breaking through the clouds, attempting fruitlessly to dry the city. I watch the birds pass by, not wanting to move a muscle. I'm afraid if I do, I will wake up and realize last night never happened.

"No, Bella, you're exhausted. You need your rest to get better," he murmured, stopping my protesting mouth with a soft kiss on my forehead.

And, with that, he carried me into my bedroom and tucked me in, taking all the care he would with a child. I was so tired I thought I might have imagined him pausing against the door frame, watching me, whispering something I swear sounded like, "Sleep well, my Bella."

Tears fill my eyes at the memory. Never in my life have I heard anything so tender, so genuine.

Part of my brain is screaming at me, telling me to run, but it's a small part.

I shut away my inner cynic, dwelling instead on the marvelously light feeling in my heart.

It's sometime later when I awake, realizing I must have dozed off again.

I hear a soft tapping at my door, followed by the doorbell.

Frowning, I drag myself from my sleep-induced haze and see I'm still wearing my jeans from last night.

I sigh. _Oh, last night..._ Flashes of the evening play before my eyes.

Shaking my head at the absurdity of my complete emotional one-eighty, I rush to the door but pause before opening it to check the peephole.

_A delivery man?_

Excitement flushes my face as I yank open the door to reveal a pimply-faced teenager holding a huge bouquet of Gerbera daisies and a small white box. Suddenly, it dawns on me: It's Sunday.

_A Sunday delivery? Hmm…_

"Hi," he says, "package for Isabella Swan."

Opening my mouth to respond, a croak emerges instead. I clear my throat and try again, "Yes, I'm Bella Swan."

Smiling, he hands me the heavy crystal vase and box. "Have a good day, miss."

As I lift the box, it sounds…_sloshy_? Dragging my eyes away from the mysterious package, I gesture to the boy to follow me inside since I don't have any money on me for a tip. I lean into the kitchen, setting down my armload, and reach for my purse.

"It's already been taken care of." I look at him questioningly. "Honest, ma'am." He raises his hand in the 'Scout's Honor' position.

I laugh and notice his nametag. "Well, thank you, Eric!" He turns to leave and I'm so excited I practically slam the door behind him.

I lean against the door for a moment, and draw in a deep breath. Expelling it, I turn and walk the four steps to my small kitchen. I stand in front of my marbled countertop, thinking how nicely the bright, cheerful colors look sitting there. The thick vase looks as though it can barely contain the vibrant mass of yellow, pink and orange petals.

_There must be at least two dozen daisies! _

It's only then I notice the lack of red Gerberas. There's only one person I've ever told of my distaste for red flowers.

_No. They can't be from…Oh, I so want them to be from him._ I gulp and reach for the small white envelope sitting, almost hidden, among the fresh smelling flowers.

My heart is beating loudly in my ears as I break the seal. I slip the small piece of cardstock from its envelope and my eyes take in the elegant script I've come to know so well.

Bella,

Last night was incredible.

Thank you.

Yours,

Edward

I let my pent up breath out in a rush. I didn't even realize I was holding it in. The thrill of terror, normally present with a word as familiar as 'yours', is curiously absent. He's thanking me for a movie and take-out? Could this mean last night was as special for him as it was for me?

My well of hope fills a bit more.

Setting the card down, I turn my attention to the box. Now that I know these things are from Edward, my inquisitiveness is piqued once more.

Gingerly, I lift the lid and find myself thoroughly confused by its contents.

I pull a round, plastic container from the box and discover a note.

I set the container on the counter and pick up the piece of paper.

I hope this helps you feel better. I made it myself. XO

Carefully, I pull back the lid and a wonderful aroma fills my senses. He's made me homemade chicken noodle soup. There are large chunks of vegetables, chicken and wide noodles. I shake my head in disbelief, and tears prick the corners of my eyes. I've never had a man put forth any form of effort. Granted, I never really let anyone get very close, that is until now.

Lying on the couch, an empty bowl on the coffee table in front of me, I flip through channels. While it feels nice to do nothing but relax, I am starting to feel kind of lonely. Finding nothing on TV, my eyelids lower and I am soon in a dream.

_I'm at a county fair, sitting atop the Ferris wheel in a brightly colored gondola. I look out over the fairgrounds at all the people milling about. Children rushing in and out of the funhouse and into the line to ride the spinning strawberries or the carousel. The sounds of the fair float into my ears: peels of laughter, loud music, the screech of carnival ride's brakes, even the crunch of people's shoes on the gravel. I'm suddenly aware I'm not alone. I turn to find Edward staring at me. A slight grin plays across his full lips. _

_ "Hold on, Bella. I think the ride is going to start again." As the words reach my ears, the bucket begins to move with a jerk. _

_ It startles me and I reach out to grab Edward's hand. He squeezes my fingers gently and places my hand on his thigh, covering my fingers with his own. He lifts an arm and wraps it around my shoulders, pulling me tight against his side. I feel his lips on my hair and hear him inhale deeply._

_ He chuckles warmly, "Oh, Bella, you smell good enough to eat." _

_ I turn my face toward his to stare into his green eyes. We've reached the bottom of the Ferris wheel; I grab his hand and stand up._

_ "We'd like to get off here, please!" I yell to the carnie._

_ He jerks the brake lever with a resounding squeal and we jump onto the metal landing, taking off at a run. The sound of our footsteps echoes behind us. _

_ The dream shifts and suddenly we're lying on a moonlit beach. _

_ The sand feels soft beneath my body. Edward is beside me, lying on his side. He pulls me on top of him and palms my bottom. I lean down and graze my lips across his…_

I'm awakened by the shrill sound of my phone ringing. I lunge off the couch and make a mad dash across the living room.

"Hello?" I answer a tad breathlessly.

"Hel-lo!" Alice sounds annoyed.

_Oops, I haven't told Alice about my date._

_ Wait. How does she know?_

I sneeze.

"Bless you, but that is not going to get you out of telling me the lovely snooxing details. I'll call him myself if you're not gonna say anything."

I decide to torture her. "Him? Him who?"

"You know very well 'who', you hooch!"

"By the way, 'snooxing'?" I ask her. Alice is always coming up with interesting words; this is one I haven't heard.

"Sexing. Fucking. Nookie. Banging. Snooxing. Got it?" Ally is having none of my shit today.

I laugh; Lord, but I love this girl. "Yes, I got it."

"So…," Alice leaves off, waiting for me to carry on.

"Well, I called him yesterday to take him up on his date offer and he turned me down." _Ouch, that one still hurts._

She gasps, "He didn't!"

"He did, but then we ran into each other later in the afternoon and he explained himself, since I didn't exactly give him a chance at the time," I admit somewhat sheepishly.

"Typical Bella, always expecting the worst of people."

"Do you blame me?"

"Well, no, of course not," she huffs and raises her voice, "Anyway…"

"While we were talking, it was pouring rain. I wound up with a nasty cold and wasn't able to go out last night. Instead we stayed here and watched old movies and had take-out," my voice lowers as I recall the immense sweetness of our date.

I hear a sniffle at the other end of the line. "What's wrong, Ally?"

I'm baffled.

"Oh, Bells, I wish you could hear yourself."

"Boring you to tears, am I?" I'm still slightly confused.

"Your voice was so...full of tenderness when you told me about your date," she sobs, "I'm so happy!"

"Really, Alice, there's no need to cry," I insist, tears rolling down my own cheeks as I think about the laughter and silliness Edward and I shared the night before.

"I can hardly believe this is happening. I wasn't sure any man would ever break through your defenses."

"I can't explain it. The other day I was talking with you about the possibility of you and Jasper getting married, and something about your pure, unadulterated joy made me hope. I don't know, but I think Edward is special," I pause. "And not just because he is possibly the hottest man I've ever seen," I giggle.

"You're giggling. I'm in shock."

"Oh, stop it!" I scold her, jokingly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so out of character."

"No, it's a good thing, trust me," she insists. "I knew I was right to hire him. It's probably the best idea I've ever had."

I can't find any excuse to argue with her.

She tells me a bit more about what she and Jasper are up to before we hang up.

What has happened to me? A couple of days ago I told him to stay away from me. Now, if he were to take my advice…I shudder.

It's amazing how different I feel. It's as though Edward possesses an inner light – a light that penetrates the darkness of my past.

The only question that remains is: How long will it last?

I need to talk to him. Now.

I run to the bathroom to assess my disheveled state.

Eyes are a little puffy.

Lips are a little dry.

Hair…_ugh_.

I splash some water on my face and drag a brush through my tangled mane. I head into my closet and grab the first things my hands fall on, pulling my limbs through the clothing.

_Oh good, it matches_, I think to myself. I run back to the living room, down some cold medicine, rip off the top corner of the white box with Edward's address, and find my coat.

As I'm halfway out the door, I lean back in and grab a package of tissues from next to the couch.

_Edward doesn't live too far from me_, I realize, checking the slip of paper.

Walking down the street, the sun disappears behind the clouds and a fine mist begins to fall.

_Excellent idea, Swan_.

By the time I reach Edward's building, the rain is pouring down in buckets. I am drenched to the skin and starting to question my hasty decision. I stand, looking up at the windows of the rather plain brick building, wondering which belongs to Edward. Feeling the rain drip through my hair and slip down my neck, I shiver and head up the steps to the main entrance. I look to my right and locate the buzzer button with 'Cullen' written on it. I reach my finger out to press the red button when the door opens.

Looking into the face of the blue-eyed, blond-haired man holding the door, I smile gratefully. His answering smile is one of interest and I immediately regret my friendly glance. I step inside the lobby and start for the stairs, not even sure if this is the right way to my destination, when I'm stopped by the young, interested man.

"Hi, you new to the building?" he asks eagerly.

"Me?" I ask dumbly, "No, I'm visiting a friend."

"A boyfriend?"

"Well, um, ye—wait. I'm sorry, but that is none of your business." I'm thoroughly annoyed with the question but also with myself for answering in such a ridiculous manner.

Apparently, blondie is not to be deterred. He holds out his wide hand and grasps my own in its somewhat sweaty palm. "I'm Mike, here, I think I have a card on me..." he trails off, and releases my hand so he can dig through his pockets for something I'll be disposing of immediately. It's not that he's not attractive, because he is; I'm just...not interested. I smile to myself, happy with the thought, when I become aware of a small, rectangular piece of cardstock being waved in my face.

_Lord, he's like a child with a new toy to show off_.

I smile benignly and take the card, giving it a furtive glance.

I read, _Mike Newton, Wildlife Attorney_, followed by his office, cell, and fax numbers.

"Uh, th-thank you," I stutter, before attempting to escape once more.

"Hey, call me sometime. I'd love to take you out," he informs while looking me up and down like a damn heifer at an auction. He squeezes my arm before heading out the door.

I shudder and fly up the stairs.

When I reach the top, I look at the nearest door and am lucky enough, for once, to be in the right spot. All thoughts of Mike have fled my mind when I begin my determined walk to Edward's door.

While walking down the hall, I focus on the carpet, the color, the texture, the fact that it's supremely better than my own. I chuckle to myself and find my feet have stopped of their own accord. I look up and see I've found the right door.

I stand, frozen, staring at the door frame. Deep brown molding surrounds his rust-colored door.

_Why the hell am I admiring his door? When it opens I'll be staring into the face of the most beautiful man God ever created. So...knock!_

Hesitantly, I raise my clenched fist to let him know I'm here.

_Tap, tap_.

At least, that's what I would have done if Edward wasn't opening the door.

His beautiful face forms a look of surprise as he takes in my appearance. He's barefoot and in just a pair of ratty jeans and a white t-shirt.

_Yum_.

His eyes dart to the side and I notice the stunning woman with honey-colored hair hanging around her face, standing near the door in a very expensively cut suit and a pair of the latest Jimmy Choos.

"Oh. I'm sorry," I mumble, "I knew it was a mistake to come here." And with that I turn to head back down the hallway – desperate to get away.

**A/N: **I am currently beta'ing a few stories, I put links in my profile, but just in case you haven't seen them:

_**Bella's Lament**_ by **Tat2missy *New Fic***

.net/s/6173157/1/

_**Finding Fate**_ by **Red20881 *Fic with a fun twist***

.net/s/5963636/1/

_**Learning to Love Again**_ by **opal aline *Angsty and delicious* **

.net/s/5700758/1/

No go on and read them, you know you want to! Before you do, just click the review button and let me know if you like it...or don't...


	14. Chapter 13

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. Everything else belongs to me, the author of this fanfic.**

Thanks to my beta, Red – she's a rock star.

Twin – You know I'd go crazy without you.

And big, huge love goes to **BellaFlan** for letting me use my all-time favorite line from her fic **Becoming Bella Swan**. (I'll tell you which line it is at the end of the chapter.) Go read it NOW! Wait, hold on – go read it after you read mine.

Chapter Thirteen – EPOV

_Bella?_ My eyes turn to the woman beside me and her gaze follows mine. Bella is saying something and then she turns to leave.

"No, wait, Bella!" My hand shoots out and grabs her arm.

She stops, albeit reluctantly. She turns to look at me and I'm stunned by the tears forming in her huge, doe-like eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," she replies scathingly.

"Interrupt? What are you—Oh!" _I am so dense._

I reach for Bella's hand and lead her back to the woman she is currently glaring daggers at.

"Bella, this is my mother, Esme." My mother smiles kindly.

The look on Bella's face changes to one of embarrassment and red flushes her neck and cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, I—I thought...I mean, you—I...," Bella stops speaking and looks at the floor.

I hate to see her like this. She's such a powerful, strong woman and she's cowed by someone as harmless as my mother. Something occurs to me: _She thought my mother was here for—Gross. Stop that train of thought. _

"It's lovely to meet you, Isabella. Edward has told me so much about you." My mother takes Bella's hand and shakes it lightly.

"Please, call me Bella. And it's wonderful to meet you too."

A strange look comes to her face. Her nose scrunches up and her eyes close..._God, she's adorable_...and she sneezes.

Bella begins to scramble frantically, looking for something in her purse. As she comes up with a tissue, I realize she is dripping wet.

"Get your butt in here! What were you thinking walking here in the rain?" I grab her arm and pull her inside and into a quick, but firm hug.

My mother takes her cue, "Goodbye, darling. Bella, I hope you feel better soon."

"Bye, Mom, thanks," I say, totally preoccupied with Bella. And she quietly steps out the door, closing it behind her.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to push your mother out," she tells me, looking up at me sheepishly. "And I got you all wet."

"She was already leaving," I insist, terrified she'll leave. Then I look down and see that I am indeed, quite wet. "I'll dry."

Bella looks down self consciously; water is dripping from her clothes onto the rug. "I'm sorry," she apologizes again, "I'm also getting your floor all wet."

I really don't care about my wet floor. All I can think of – aside from the fact that Bella is sopping wet and sick – is that I can see her nipples poking at the front of her shirt, the dampened material clinging to her curves...I jerk my head to the side, struggling to extract a relevant phrase from my convoluted mind.

"No, don't worry about it. Let me get you a towel and some dry clothes." Before she can protest, I quickly head down the hallway to my room. I root around my drawers and find a pair of warm, soft sweats and a t-shirt I accidentally shrunk in the wash. I double check the pants to make sure there is a draw string as I am definitely thicker than her. Satisfied her bottoms won't fall off, my mind begins to wander.

It dawns on me that Bella will be in my house, in my clothes with no undergarments. Trying to focus on things less erection-inducing, I head to the bathroom closet to grab a towel.

When I make my way to the living room, Bella appears to be mumbling to herself. Not wanting to further embarrass her, I step a little heavier to make my presence known. She whirls around to face me, her face flushing once more.

She looks so beautiful.

I slow my steps, but continue forward, unable to control my thoughts – or my dick.

The next thing I know Bella's eyes travel down my torso. The front of my shirt is clinging and so are my jeans. _Damn, why can't I control that fucker?_

Bella's already dark eyes deepen a shade and her mouth falls slightly open.

_Just give her the clothes...Just give her the clothes..._My mantra frenziedly repeats.

Apparently Bella has other plans.

BPOV

I don't know what's come over me, but I have to touch him and I have to touch him _now_.

Who the hell am I kidding? I know exactly what turned my brain on 'horny'. Edward's soft, old jeans are tight...and wet, showing me the enormous hard on bulging from his pelvis.

It's been so long since that disastrous night with Felix and there hasn't been anyone since – other than Edward and our mouth fucking against my office wall. _God_, just the mere memory of that causes heat to coil in belly.

As soon as he gets close enough, I lunge my dripping wet body across the last bit of space between us. Just as I'm about to press my lips to his, I start to cough.

_Shit and fuck and stuff!_

I turn away, my face burning with my embarrassment. I begin pushing myself back frantically, my spastic coughing is unstoppable and I want to distance myself from Edward. His cool hands reach out to steady me. Great, he's already anticipating my clumsiness – like me coughing and sputtering isn't enough!

"Um, Bella, you're hot."

My coughing ceases just long enough for me to raise an eyebrow.

"That's not what I meant, but that is true. I meant you're running a fever. Your skin is hot." Edward's brow is creased worriedly.

"Come here," he says as he pulls me forward gently, pausing to pick up the discarded clothing from the floor.

He shows me into the restroom so I can dry off and change.

I step into the brightly lit room, taking in the warm, tan-colored tiles on the walls, the hardwood floor, his and her sinks, a glass-walled standing shower and full-size Jacuzzi. Everything feels very homey in shades of brown and cream, despite the very expensive facets.

Edward sets the clothes on the counter, tells me to take my time and leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.

I strip off my wet clothes, leaving them in the sink to avoid messing up his apartment any further. Suddenly, I become aware I'm standing completely nude in Edward's home. A nervous giggle escapes my lips and I grab the fluffy white towel to dry my shivering limbs. Once finished, I wrap the towel around my head, taking care to tuck all strands within its folds. I look in the mirror and groan. I look as though I've been beaten. My eyes are red-rimmed with dark bags beneath them, my nose is glowing like Rudolf's, and my normally pale skin is practically translucent. Averting my face from the hideousness in front of me, I quickly dress in the sweatpants and t-shirt. I make sure to tie the string tightly around my waist, as I'm incredibly aware of my bare bottom. I pull the terry cloth from my head and mop up any drips of water from the floor. I throw it over a rack hanging next to the shower, and shake my hair out, running my fingers through it. Heaving a sigh, followed by a cough, I head out of the bathroom.

I take a left and pad down the hallway back toward the living room. I'm assaulted by the smell of Vicks and chicken noodle soup.

I don't immediately see Edward; he's hidden beside the couch.

"Edward," I call quietly.

He pops up from his position on the floor and the first thing I notice is his dry pants.

_Damn_, my inner slut whines.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you come in here," his voice cracks and his gaze floats between my chest and my face. "I heated some soup. I thought you'd like to have some with me. It really should help you feel better," Edward rambles on, while I just smile serenely.

This feels so...natural: him making me dinner and caring about my well being. My inner bitch is so quiet I can no longer hear her words, just a low-grade buzzing.

"Thank you for the clothes. I wasn't sure where to put my wet stuff, so I left it in the sink – I hope that's okay."

"Yep. Well, actually, I was thinking maybe you'd like to stay here and eat with me...maybe watch another movie, you know, while we wait for your clothes to dry." His eyes remain glued to my face, despite the fact I can see him fighting his instincts to look lower.

"I'm sorry, dry?"

"Oh, yeah, I have a dryer. You're more than welcome to throw your things in there. And then I can take you home later."

I feel a pang of sadness, which is ridiculous. I can't stay here; I can't be getting attached to this man. _What if he leaves...what if...?_

I shake my head, sickened with my thought's natural course.

"That would be great, thanks." I flinch inwardly; my voice is sounding somewhat nasal. _Awesome, movie night with a Fran Drescher wannabe._

We pick out a movie and curl up on the couch, each sitting on our own sides. Fortunately for me, he doesn't seem to mind my irritating sound. Edward has actually plugged in a vaporizer to help clear my airways. If I wasn't so sick, I would be more embarrassed, but I just want to feel better.

When we finished our dinner, Edward clears our bowls and disappears to the other room for a moment. I hear the sound of the dryer start up and I smile. _So thoughtful_. He stops in the kitchen for a few more moments and comes back with two cups of tea. He sits them on the dark coffee table, and rests his hand on my arm.

My attention is completely removed from the comedy we've been watching; all my awareness is focused solely on the contact of our skin.

He pulls me to my feet, releases my hand and lies on the couch, giving me a goofy grin. I laugh, cough and turn to sit in the recliner. "If you wanted the couch, all you had to do was ask, jerk."

Edward laughs and grabs my hand to pull me down next to him. I succumb and stretch out along his length as he curls his arm around my middle, pulling me closer – tighter – to his body.

I wake sometime later, when crack of thunder peels through the night. I sit straight up, forgetting where I am and fall onto the floor.

"Damn it, ouch!" I yelp.

Sitting on the floor, rubbing my sore butt, I assess my whereabouts. Plush carpet, suede couch, hot guy..._Edward_!

He's actually managed to sleep through the storm and my cursing. The dork is snoring. I laugh quietly and stand, surprised at how well I can breathe. It was really sweet of Edward to take care of me, but I'm not sure what I should do. I can't walk home in a thunderstorm. That would be asinine.

So I decide I'll curl up in the cozy recliner. _Italian leather, nice_. I settle back in the chair and grabbing the remote from the coffee table as I go. The movie has long since stopped and is frozen on the menu. Rather than attempting to figure out the different buttons, I just push play and start the disk over. I relax, sinking down into the chair and pull my arms inside Edward's shirt, resting my arms across my abdomen. I watch the pictures play across the screen, not really comprehending what I see. Instead, I play over the events of the last couple months and the more I think about it, the more I think I'm willing to try dating Edward exclusively...if that's what he wants.

That is the last thought I remember as I sink into sleep with a smile on my face.

The next time my eyes open, there is bright sunlight filtering through the windows, despite the fact they're in the west wall. I wonder how late it is. The mugs of forgotten tea have been taken care of and there is a fleece blanket tossed over my limbs. Somewhere in the fuzziness of my brain, I register the smell of eggs and bacon.

Pulling off the blanket, I stretch out my arms and legs and rub the sleep from my eyes. _Ew, my eyes are all crusty._ I scrub along my eyelashes until I'm sure they're gone. I hate being sick. I feel somewhat awkward being here. Not to mention a little vulnerable. Some part of my former self is urging me to run out the door and never look back, but a much larger part of me is ready to confront Edward with my concerns. I push my arms back through the arm holes and place my feet on the floor, discarding the blanket behind me in the chair.

I can feel his eyes on my face; I blush.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." His voice comes from my left and I'm not sure I want to turn my head. He sounds ridiculously cheery for someone who just woke up.

Against my initial instinct, I turn and lay my eyes on the gorgeousness that is Edward Cullen. "G'morning yourself," I quip with a smile.

Edward is standing in front of his stainless steel stove, stirring eggs in a frying pan.

"Eggs are almost done, bacon is ready and I have some orange juice in the fridge." He steps away from the range and heads toward me, his eyes alight with...something. I'm not sure what yet, but I'm guessing I'm about to find out.

All I can think about is my disheveled appearance and my morning breath. I sidestep Edward and scoot into the bathroom, calling over my shoulder, "Be right back!"

While in the bathroom, I dress in my freshly dried clothes and rinse my mouth liberally with Listerine. Both were mysteriously lain out, stacked neatly on the pristine countertop. I pull a hair-tie from my pocket – _good it's still there_ – and put my hair up into a pony tail. I smile at Edward's thoughtfulness, and am struck afresh with the new feelings bubbling in my chest.

_He's not like anyone I've ever met._

_You thought the same thing about Jake, and look where that got you._

_He's nothing like Jake. Nothing._

I firmly reattach the duct tape across my inner bitch's mouth, make sure everything is in order and check my reflection before heading out the door.

Breakfast is delicious. It really doesn't surprise me; I'm starting to think he can do anything.

I glance at Edward across the small table and take in the brightness of his eyes, the scruff covering his well-boned jaw line...I stifle a moan. It's been too long.

"So, are you ready to tell me what you came here for?" Edward sets his fork beside his now empty plate.

"What do you mean?" I decide to play dumb since I really don't know how to bring up my insecurities.

My poker face is complete shit. Edward can see right through me.

"Are things moving too quickly?" he asks, looking concerned. "I knew I should have taken you home..."

"What? No, stop it. I'm not a child, you know." I think it's best to just come clean – lay all of my cards on the table.

I push my plate away and intertwine my fingers on the surface in front of me. My eyes glue themselves to a spot on the wall behind Edward's head. "Look, I came here because I wanted to find out what we're doing."

"What do you mean? Like dating-wise?"

"Yes, 'dating-wise'. Are you wanting to see me exclusively or is this a casual thing?" My face grows hot. I cannot believe I just asked him that.

"Bella, look at me, please." Edward's voice is velvet, yet calm and commanding.

My eyes meet his and I'm drowning in their green depths.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound so forward, I just—Well, I just want to know what I'm dealing with."

"Dealing with?"

"Edward you know about my past relationships, this is a whole new experience for me."

"I know," he says, his jaw clenching for a second before relaxing. "Is this your way of telling me you don't want anything more than a casual fling? Because, Bella, I'm not sure I can do that. This doesn't feel casual to me."

My heart leaps into my throat and I can feel the familiar burn of tears building. Very quietly I tell him, "It doesn't feel that way to me either."

Faster than I can look up, Edward is at my side. He puts his hands on my waist, turning me so I face him. Then he gets down on his knees and we're practically eye to eye. "Do you mean that?"

"Yes." And I do, I really do.

**A/N: **Leave me a review – I fucking love reviews.

I know you all want to know which line came from BBS, and since you were all such good little readers here it is: "Shit and fuck and stuff!" Yep, that's the best line I've read in FF to date! Thanks again, Flanny!


	15. Chapter 14

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. Everything else belongs to ME. **

Thank you to my **Red** – you're simply fabulous. Best beta ever!

Thanks to **Twin**. Why? Because…you know why. ;)

**People** who read my fic: You are so insanely beautiful, I think I love you.

I will not explain this song choice…it will explain itself very shortly. Enjoy!

**Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground**

Hangin' round downtown by myself  
And I had so much time  
To sit and think about myself  
And then there she was  
Like double cherry pie  
Yeah there she was  
Like disco superfly  
I smell sex and candy here  
Who's that lounging in my chair  
Who's that casting devious stares  
In my direction  
Mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself  
And I had too much caffeine  
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself  
And then there she was  
In double platform suede  
Yeah there she was  
Like disco lemonade  
I smell sex and candy here  
Who's that lounging in my chair  
Who's that casting devious stares  
In my direction  
Mama this surely is a dream  
Mama this surely is a dream  
Yeah mama this must be my dream

Chapter 14 – BPOV

My drive to work is passing in a haze of happy memories from the weekend. Edward and I walking in the park… Holding hands and stopping for kisses… Make out sessions on his couch… There seems to be a theme to my thinking.

This past month has been idyllic. I've learned so much about Edward: who he is, what he's done, where he's been – and I still want to know more. He's also taught me how to trust and what it's like to be in a relationship. I sigh happily with the thought of the word. _Relationship_. A few months ago this word struck fear into my heart. It meant leaving myself vulnerable, giving myself to someone who could reject me at his will. I glare at the car in front of me as though it's their personal doing for the horrors I suffered at the hands of Jake.

Just as I'm contemplating a rear end hit-and-run 'accident', a song comes on the radio that causes my dopey grin to cement in place. It's the ring tone he's added for himself on my phone. _Sex and Candy_ by Marcy Playground. Since we haven't actually had sex yet, he claims I'm like something out of his dreams. That, and he swears I taste like candy, but I think those are just the ramblings of a horny, sex-starved man. Since the appearance of the ring tone, Edward has taken to calling me 'mama'. I'm not really sure how I feel about this, but it's kind of cute. As the song comes to an end, I am stuck at a red light, my thoughts drifting once again.

A new song picks up, going on about wedding rings and my thoughts sober. Edward has told me about his fiancée, Angela. He spoke of the horrible accident and his behavior after. Including his guilt, form of repentance, and how he got past it. It's something I hope to do, eventually. Of course, he still doesn't know the whole story.

I pull into my parking space, forcing the bleak turn of thoughts away. Heading into the building, I find myself preoccupied with thoughts of my upcoming date with Edward tonight. I know he's been planning this for a while. Now I just need something fabulous to wear. Maybe I can raid the accessories closet. I'm sure I can get Sue to loan me something.

Walking in my office, I am assaulted by the clean scent of fresh cut flowers. Smiling, I reach for the card and see they're from Edward. Again. He has a habit of sending me flowers once or twice a week. He says something about how they seemed to be good luck for him, since that's how he 'bagged' me in the first place. I laugh to myself and plop down at my desk, anxious for this day to be over already.

I work continuously through the morning and the early afternoon. I'm deep in thought when Alice bounces through the door.

"Bells, do you have a minute?"

"Always for you, boss," I quip with a laugh.

"This is not a boss/employee conversation," she tells me with a serious look.

Something major is up.

"Okay, shoot. I'm not doing anything major, just finishing up a re-write and then I was going to call it a day."

Alice regards the open door and walks over, closing it firmly. She comes back to me, her whole face glowing. Plopping herself down in the chair across from me, she takes in a deep breath and releases it in a rush, "I wanted to call you last night, but you were…otherwise entertained, and I didn't want to interrupt." She gives me a sly look before telling me more, "Jasper and I had a date last night ourselves. He made me a delicious dinner and afterwards he brought out a dessert bowl filled with strawberries. There was a huge, chocolate covered one in the middle, I bit into it and found this," she lifts her hand up to show me a giant, pink, princess-cut diamond, set in a delicate platinum band. It looks too heavy for her tiny hand. But it's gorgeous and most definitely Alice's style.

"Oh, Ally," I breathe, "it's beautiful. And I'm so happy for you!" I wrap her in a hug. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you, and you know you're my maid of honor, right?" Her eyes are bright with unshed tears.

"Of course. I would have beat you if it was any other way," I giggle and then a question comes to mind. "Have you two picked a date?"

Knowing Alice, she's already had the entire event planned since she started guessing at an impending proposal.

She gives me a sheepish glance, "Well, see, that's the thing. Um, it's this weekend."

I think my jaw just hit the floor, "Really? Wow. How are you planning on getting everything done in four days? I don't even think _you_ can pull that off." Alice is amazing, but I just don't think it's possible.

"We're going to Vegas. Just us and our wedding party, which consists of Rose and Emmett, you and," she hesitates, "Edward, if you think that would be okay."

_Vegas with Edward._ I think I love that idea. _But in her wedding? And…wait a second. _"Hold the phone; you've always said a wedding with less than five hundred guests is criminal."

"Oh, I know, but now that I'm here, it feels different. I just want to be married to Jasper. None of the other things matter as long as I can be linked to the man I love and have my best friends there with me. That's all I really care about." She has the calm and serene expression of a woman who knows what she wants. She looks at me seriously, "Bella, if you're not comfortable going away with Edward yet, that's fine. Jasper is going to have Emmett stand up for him – they've gotten really close in the last couple of months. But Rose is going and I just thought it might be nice if you had the other half to your couple there too." She looks at me almost nervously. Alice never has a problem telling me what she thinks, or giving me orders for that matter.

I laugh, "Alice, relax. I would love it if Edward could come. I just hope he doesn't have any other plans." I begin to bite my lip, wondering. I don't really want to go without him. Not that I would ever dream of missing my best friend – my only family left in this world – get married, but it would make it that much better if Edward was there to share it with me.

Again, Ally has a look of uncertainty playing across her face, "Don't be mad at me, but I kinda, sorta, already asked Edward if he was available for the weekend." She looks like a girl who's been called into the principal's office, twisting her hands together, fidgeting in her chair.

"Alice, it's fine, I promise. I'm not mad." Truthfully, I am a little annoyed, but I know she was only looking out for my best interests. "Did he say he'd come?"

"He said as long as you were okay with it, then he'd be up for it. I just didn't tell him what we were going for. I couldn't take a chance of him letting you know before I could tell you." She claps her hands to her legs, "So, now that you're all informed, we have to find you something to wear!"

"Holy shit, I never thought about it – your dress!" I squeal at her, because we both know that a wedding cannot happen without the perfect dress. The dress makes it all come together.

"I already have it."

"I'm sorry, but what? You already have it? How is that possible? He just proposed to you last night, we haven't been shopping yet, and I know you wouldn't go without me. Would you?" I ask timidly, suddenly afraid she kept me out of the loop for some fear I might go postal about her sudden nuptials.

"Oh, Bella, you seriously need to trust me. Of course I didn't go shopping without you. Do you remember that article we did last month, _Say Yes to the Right Dress When Mr. Right says Yes_?"

"Yeah, I did the Oscar de la Renta write-up."

"There was a dress in that shoot I fell in love with. I've asked Sue to do the hemming for me, since I'm clearly not the same height as the model." Her tinkling laugh sounds.

"Can we go see it?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

We head up to the accessories closet, so Alice can get measured and Sue can start altering. She looks beautiful and my eyes well up with tears. While waiting for her to change back into her work clothes, I find something to wear for my date with Edward tonight. It's a slinky red halter that will go fabulously with my new red Gucci slingbacks. Alice and I decide to go bridesmaid dress shopping; we stop and pick Rose up along the way. Since I'm the only attendant, I can have any sort of dress. We find one that Alice approves of and Rose insists Edward will "hump the ever-loving shit out of me" when he sees me in it. On that cheery note, I leave them to head home and get ready for my date.

Edward arrives on time with yet another bouquet of flowers. I scold him, assuring him he doesn't need to bribe me any longer. We leave by way of his car and he takes me to a very nice restaurant that serves exotic dishes. Dinner is delicious and we pass the evening with ease, chatting and laughing together. Then the waiter brings out dessert. It looks incredible.

I can tell there's something on Edward's mind, but he has yet to let me in on the secret.

"Bella, sweet, how is your dessert?"

"It's chocolate cake with chocolate mousse and cream cheese layered on top of it…I'm in heaven."

He chuckles lightly, "I'm glad you're enjoying it."

He looks at me with his smoldering stare. His green eyes are burning with passion and I can tell, just by looking at him, he's hard as a rock. The knowledge causes heat to settle low in my groin and I have to fight not to jump at him across the table, or crawl beneath it and show him my appreciation. We may not have actually had sex yet, but I have done a little research, and there is nothing _little_ about my finds. I sigh quietly, completely finished with my dessert and wanting nothing more than to feel his hands on me. I'm beyond ready.

Edward sucks in a sharp breath, a hiss passing through his teeth, "Bella, can we save that for later?"

"What are you…?" I realize my foot is sliding up his leg, grazing the tip of his erection. I don't even remember slipping my shoe off. I blush, feeling the heat stain my cheeks. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Let's just save it for later, or I might just take you in the bathroom." He grins roguishly.

"Something tells me I wouldn't object." I eye him over my glass of champagne.

"Are you finished?" Edward asks me. He raises his hand for our check.

"With dessert, I am." I want to leave him with no doubt about what I want to do tonight.

Edward pays our check, leaving a generous tip. I smile because I'm not sure it was intentional. I've been a terrible tease, and I think I may have distracted him.

"Would you like to come back to my place tonight?" Edward looks hopeful.

"Yes, please," I purr, placing my hand in his, as we walk through the doors to the parking lot.

We part ways to slide into his car. The second the door is closed I wrap my fists into his hair, pulling him close to me, pressing my lips to his. Our tongues dance together in a sensuous tango.

Edward pulls back, "There's something I've wanted to say to you for a while now and I don't want to wait anymore." He looks at me, giving me his beautiful smile, reaches up and pulls my hands from his hair. Holding them in his lap, he reaches across the space between us to kiss me softly. "Bella, I love you."

I guessed this was coming, but couldn't fathom the reaction I would have. Instead of recoiling, I lean over and kiss him, "Are you sure you're not saying that because you want to get in my pants?"

Edward kisses me back, but I can tell he's not really into it. He's gauging my response, looking for any sign I might bolt. "I would love to get in your pants, but I wouldn't say it for that purpose. You know that, right?" He looks slightly panicked. "I'm sorry if this is too much too soon, but I have loved you for a long time and—" I silence him with a hand over his lips, deciding to put him out of his misery.

"I love you too," I say quietly, knowing in my heart of hearts it's true. I didn't think it was possible, but I do love him.

"You do? Really? You're not just saying that to get in my pants?" he chuckles nervously.

"Did it work?"

"Yes."

Somehow we've made it back to Edward's apartment. The entire way to his door, we're kissing and grasping at each other. Luckily for us, there aren't many people around. I don't think I could handle that kind of embarrassment, or keep my mouth off him for that matter.

Edward pushes his key into the lock while my hands are pulling at his belt. The door falls open and he whirls around, lifting me off the floor. Once inside, he kicks the door shut and carries me into his bedroom. My lips never once leave him. I'm kissing, licking and sucking his neck, his lips, and the small part of collarbone I can reach. Frustrated with the lack of exposed skin, I rip at his shirt. I hear the _pinging_ sounds of buttons hitting the hardwood floor. "Oops," I say, releasing his shirt.

A low growl sounds from his lips, "That was hot."

Suddenly I'm falling through the air and landing on a plush surface.

I drag myself up to my knees and grab Edward by the front of his shirt, pulling him close to the bed – to me. He lowers his head to mine, caressing my lips gently. His hands find the back of my neck and he releases the tie of my halter top. The strips of fabric fall down my front, but don't expose my breasts – much to Edward's dismay. He leans back and glares at my shirt. I giggle and pull it upwards. Realizing what I'm about to do, Edward tears at his own clothes. He stands before me, nude, his impressive length standing at attention, level with my now bare breasts. I toss my shirt to the floor and tilt forward, letting his hot, silky head graze my peaks. My nipples harden and Edward lets out a low moan. I lean my head down and wrap my lips around the tip of his cock, letting my tongue swirl around it. One of his hands finds my hair and the other reaches down to stroke firm fingers over my skin.

Feeling pressure on my arms, I release Edward from my mouth and look up at him. He pulls me forward until I'm standing before him.

"Take your pants off for me?" The way he says it, it comes out like a question. Adorable.

I undo my pants and let them slide down my legs, revealing my thong.

"Is that a ribbon holding your underwear on?" His breathing increases to a slow pant.

"Yes," I say, slowly loosening the knot on my left hip. The silky material tickles my leg as the thong falls to the floor. "I want you, Edward. I've wanted you for so long."

His mouth covers mine as we fall back on the bed, Edward above me. He braces himself on one elbow so the other arm can slide down my body. His hand finds my wetness and he moans, thrusting a finger within. I arch my back as his mouth covers my nipple, sucking and licking.

I am sensation.

His tongue swirls around my bud and he slips his finger up and down my slit, pausing at my clit to stroke it gently. My fingers wrap in the sheets, twisting and pulling. I want him now.

"Edward, please, just…you—I want you," I grind out the words, at a loss for articulation.

His hands rest on either side of me as he nestles himself between my thighs. I can feel his hard heat pressing against my mound. He kisses me and whispers, "I love you, Bella," before thrusting himself into me – hard.

"Oh, fuck!" I shout.

He stills. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No, please, keep going," I whimper into his lips. I want to feel him slamming against my pelvis – every inch of him wrapped in my slick heat.

He resumes his action, but slowly, carefully, watching my eyes.

I can feel every muscle clench around him. I'm building to my release, but it's not fast enough. I can't take the slow torture.

"Harder, Edward, harder."

His pace quickens as does his breathing.

"You feel so good, better than I dreamed," he whispers to me, "Bella, I don't know how long I can last…I've wanted you for so long."

"Don't hold back, just…," I pause, watching the motion of his hair as he moves into me and back out. I am so close, I just want him to, "Fuck me, Edward!"

That's all it takes and he's pounding me fast and hard. My legs are wrapped around his hips. My arms are above me, holding onto the edge of the bed.

"Oh, I'm going to…" The world implodes as I reach my peak, colors dancing behind my eyelids. I can feel every nerve ending in my body. I moan and Edward follows, releasing himself in my velvety folds. I can feel him twitch within me as he rides out his orgasm.

That was incredible.

"Edward, I love you," I tell him, pulling him down to kiss me once more.

A few hours and several orgasms have passed since I got here. I am feeling sated and insanely happy.

Edward walks back in from the bathroom and lies down beside me, wrapping me up in his arms.

_I could lie like this forever._ For once, my inner bitch is perfectly content.

I am just drifting off, listening to Edward's slow and rhythmic breaths when I remember something I wanted to ask.

"Honey?" _Oh, my God, it feels fabulous to call him that._

"Mm hmm," he answers sleepily.

"Do you want to come with me to Vegas this weekend?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

**A/N: **Sooooo, the first Bella and Edward lemon…What do you think? Let me know if you like it, love it, hate it…Peace out.


	16. Chapter 15

**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. Everything else is mine. **

**Red**, you are the most rockinest beta around. Thanks a bazillion! Big love!

To my **core** **three** – I love ya mega loads.

**Readers** – I will hump your leg if you leave me a review.

Having never been to **Las** **Vegas**, I researched the crap outta that city. If there are discrepancies, I apologize ahead of time. The hotel and wedding planning have been based on what I read from the **Wynn Las Vegas** wedding site.

Chapter Fifteen – BPOV

"Hello Alice," I answer my office phone without questioning for a second who it might be. This is only the tenth time she's called me today.

"Why the hell are you still at work?" Alice sounds panicked.

"I'm just finishing up a few things so I won't feel guilty about leaving early today and missing Monday."

A shriek damn near bursts my eardrum.

"Bella, our plane leaves in _three_ hours!"

"Yes, I'm well aware of that. Edward is stopping at my place to grab my bags and then he's picking me up in," I check my watch, "twenty minutes."

"Why you couldn't just take today off, I'll never know."

"Because my editor is a major slave driver, that's why," I tease.

"Are you referring to me, or is that a euphemism for something between you and your main squeeze?" Alice quips with no hesitation.

I laugh at the thought of Edward standing at the foot of my bed, whip in hand.

"Bella, this is no laughing matter! You're my maid of honor; aren't you supposed to be waiting on me or something?"

"That's not exactly what 'maid of honor' means, but I promise, we'll be there very soon," I assure the anxious bride.

As though on cue, the tune of _Sex and Candy_ fills the space beneath my desk.

Alice has an incredible sense of hearing. "Is that your phone?"

"Yes, it is. It's Edward."

_Who's that lounging in my chair…?_

"Well, I'll let you get that then."

Before I can respond, the line goes dead.

I dig my phone out of my purse and answer it. "Are you almost here?"

His deep laugh fills my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. "Is that any way to answer your phone?"

"Ha ha, very funny. You know I'm sticking my tongue out at you, right?"

"You know where I'll tell you to stick that tongue, right?" He jokes back.

I wonder if he can feel the heat of my blush through the line.

"I'd planned on that anyway," I tease.

A few months ago, I would have said that to anyone with no problem, but saying it to Edward turns my cheeks bright red.

"Keep talking like that and we won't make it to the airport on time."

I moan into the phone, thinking that might not be such a bad idea.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he says in a low voice.

"Sorry, and really, if Alice wouldn't murder us, I would be all for it, but we probably should wait until we're at least on the airplane."

His sharp intake of breath makes me giggle.

"Listen here, mama, I'm pulling in the parking lot right now, so I suggest you get your cute little butt down here."

"How can I do that if you won't let me off the phone, you perv?"

"Oh, that's good. I'm the perv? I think you're just better at hiding it, Miss Swan."

"You certainly have a way with words, Mr. Cullen." With that, I hang up the phone, a grin plastered to my face.

Gathering everything I'll need from my office for the weekend, I head for the door, pausing to lock it behind me. I make my way to the elevator, step inside, watch the heavy doors slide shut, and drift into a daydream.

_Edward throws me over his shoulder, kicking open the hotel door. He flings me onto the bed, standing over me like some Greek god… _

A _ping_ing noise alerts me to my arrival on the ground floor. I wait for the stainless steel before me to open, and rush out, nearly colliding with someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I apologize, rearranging the things in my arms.

"That's quite alright."

I look up into a familiar face.

"Um, thanks," I mutter, and continue on my way. _Where have I seen this guy?_

"You don't remember me, do you?" he says, stopping me in my tracks.

"No, I don't, but don't take it too personally. I meet a lot of people." _It's on the tip of my tongue._

"I let you in your _boyfriend's_," he scoffs at the word, "apartment building."

_Mike! Creepy Mike. Wait, how does he know where I work?_

"Well, that same boyfriend is waiting for me in the parking lot, so I'd better…" I trail off and slide around him.

A strong hand on my shoulder halts my escape.

_Shit._

"I've been hoping to run into you again." His fingers trail down my back, stopping just before my tailbone as I turn.

The smell of his aftershave is overwhelming. I feel bile boiling in my stomach. _Why does he make me so nervous?_

"I hate to do this, but I really have to go. I've got a plane to catch." _Gotta get away._

"Can I get your number? Please? I waited for you to call."

"Um, I'm curious. How do you know where I work?" I change the subject, genuinely concerned with this little detail.

"Luck, really. I happen to have a friend that works here. I was just leaving after lunch with him, and here you are." His smile is so wide, almost frighteningly so.

"Uh huh, well, I'm sorry, but I really do have a boyfriend." I edge away again.

"I still don't believe you." His hand reaches out again and rests on the upper part of my arm, his fingers dangerously close to my breast.

"Well, you'd better believe it." Edward's smooth voice is as hard and cold as ice as he slides his hand down my arm effectively removing Mike's overaggressive touch.

I didn't hear him approach, but I'm filled with relief just to have him near.

Mike's gaze reaches Edward's face with a look of surprise. "Oh, you must be the boyfriend?"

"That I am. And might I ask how you know _my_ girlfriend?" Edward's possessive arms snake all the way around my waist, dragging me back a bit and I lean into him, drawing comfort from his closeness.

"We met once before," he pauses, glancing at my face before continuing, "at your apartment building."

Edward opens his mouth, but I interject, feeling my bravado return, "What do you mean _your_ apartment building? I thought you lived there too."

Mike answers stupidly, "Huh? Oh, I moved out of there a few weeks ago."

I find solace in his words. _Mike doesn't live there anymore. I won't run into him again._

Edward must feel me relax, because he kisses my neck just below my ear and announces, "Well, if that's all, I'll be leaving with my girl now. And if I were you, I wouldn't show my face here again. Got it?"

Mike mumbles under his breath and scurries away.

Edward's lips graze my earlobe, "I don't think he'll be bothering you again, mama."

Watching Mike's retreating figure trip on the steps out front, I have to agree, but he is the least of my concerns at the moment. "That may be true, but I know of a tiny bundle of energy who will murder me in my sleep if we don't get to the airport ASAP."

*O*O*

We make it to SeaTac in record time. Surprisingly enough, it's not very busy, so we fly through check in and make it to our gate with minutes to spare.

"Where in the hell have you been?"

"There's the lovely bride-to-be." I smile at Alice and tell her about my little piece of drama.

She's appalled and tells me she'll put a ban on Mike coming to the building. Alice amazes me constantly. I thank her and we stand around waiting for the boarding call.

"That's us!" Rosalie sounds excited as she grabs Emmett's hand.

He raises her fingers to his lips and kisses them gently.

"Save it, Em!" Jasper calls out, laughing.

"Yeah, if anyone's getting that kind of treatment, it's me," Alice tells Jasper and she pushes him forward. "Move it, hubbers, I'm ready for some champagne!"

Edward is laughing along with everyone, enjoying himself. Even though he's known Emmett and Rose for years, he doesn't really know Alice and Jasper very well. I worried, needlessly it seems, he would feel uncomfortable because it's essentially Alice and Jasper's weekend.

My happiness is nearly bubbling over. Not able to contain myself any longer, I step behind Edward, slip my hands into his front pockets and kiss the center of his back.

He freezes momentarily under the guise of letting the others walk ahead. He pulls on my arms, removing my hands from his sensitive areas and drags me along behind him, thrusting our boarding passes at the flight attendant.

We hurry aboard and Edward drops our carry-on bags on our seat and continues to the lavatories. Holding the door open for me, I step inside, giggling. He slips in behind me, his arms wrapping around me from behind, his hands sliding up my abdomen to grip my breasts. He kneads them gently, applying pressure at the tips, eliciting a groan from deep within my chest.

"Shh," he whispers in my ear before nipping at the lobe.

Knowing the plane will finish loading very soon, I decide to take matters into my own hands. I turn around and push him against the door, releasing the snap on my slacks and letting them fall to the floor.

"Oh, Bella…" Edward's eyes are hooded as he regards my bare legs and the flimsy material covering my heated entrance.

I hear movement outside the door and I quickly loosen Edward's belt and push his jeans down his legs. I step out of my panties and place my hands on his shoulders. I feel his strong hands at my hips and he lifts me up, spinning as he does so. My back presses against the hard plastic and Edward thrusts himself into me. His firm rod enters my slick folds, and I part my lips to cry out, as Edward's mouth covers mine, his tongue sweeping across my own.

He pulls out slightly before ramming into me again and again, increasing his tempo. I rest my head against the door, reveling in the sensations ruling my body. I wish this could last forever.

_You know how to make that happen._

This thought spurs me on and I press my lips to Edward's, kissing him passionately.

I can feel his hard length twitching inside me and I feel the familiar clench in my belly – I'm nearing the peak and I want Edward to fall with me.

My walls are tightening around him, staking my claim; my nipples are hard buds, threatening to pierce through my clothing.

"Edward, I'm so close," I whimper in his ear.

"Baby, I love you so—," and he's cut off by an angry sounding pound on the door.

My eyes open wide and I try not to giggle as Edward calls out, "Occupied!"

The muttering outside the door quiets as the person walks away. We chuckle quietly to ourselves, before I trace my tongue over his lips and our pace resumes.

He lifts me up and down, over and over, until I fall over the cliff, pulling him with me. Stars shoot across my vision, and in a haze I hear voices over the speakers outside our little love nest.

Coming down from my orgasmic state, I nibble softly at Edward's neck while he stands on quivering legs.

"You'd better set me down now."

Breathing somewhat heavily, Edward agrees, "Yeah, I suppose we don't want the troops to come looking for us."

We restore order to our clothes and hair as quickly as possible before I slip out, leaving Edward behind with a kiss. The plan is for him to leave a moment or two after me so it doesn't appear quite so obvious what we were up to.

I grab the bags from our seats and shove them into the overhead compartment, listening to Alice and Jasper talking quietly together. The six of us are sitting in pairs of seats, all in a row. Jasper and Alice chose the back two, Emmett and Rosalie chose the front two, and that left Edward and me in the middle.

I take my seat next to the window, resting my head against the cool glass.

"Whatcha been up to, Bells?" Rosalie is on her knees peeking at me over the top of her seat.

Something in her face tells me she knows.

Emmett pipes up, "Mile high club only takes effect if you're in the air."

My face is so hot I'm sure the glass is going to melt, and I sink down in my seat wishing I could actually be absorbed by its fabric.

"You would know, eh there, Em?" Edward has made it back from the restroom without incident.

Emmett begins to regale us with a story of a past sexual encounter, and the flight taxis down the runway. Rosalie and Edward tease Em mercilessly.

Edward's voice erases any embarrassment I was feeling and I join in the ribbing.

Rose and I giggle, setting a fun, lighthearted tone for the start of our weekend.

*O*O*

After our uneventful and rather humorous flight, we arrive in Las Vegas excited and ready to start our weekend. We grab our bags from the claim area and head outside where we are thrilled to see the limousine waiting for us in front of the airport. We all pile in, squealing and laughing.

"Just one stop and we're on our way to the hotel!" Alice exclaims.

"Where are we going right now?" Rosalie asks.

"We need to stop and get our marriage license." As she says the words, she turns her face to Jasper, a glow lighting her beautiful face.

Jasper puts an arm around her, tucking her petite frame into his side. Tears well in my eyes from the love I feel surrounding the happy couple. Rosalie starts asking more questions about the wedding, sending Alice into a frenzy of detailed descriptions.

Edward's lips are at my ear. "What's the matter, mama?"

Discreetly wiping my eyes, I whisper, "I'm fine. I'm just so happy."

He places a kiss at my temple and we sit back to listen to the bride lay out our itinerary.

Our stop at the courthouse is relatively quick, and when we pull up in front of the hotel, all our mouths drop.

Our check-in is expedited; apparently it's part of the wedding package the bride and groom purchased, and now Edward and I are standing in front of our floor-to-ceiling windows, our arms wrapped around each other, gazing at the sparkling city before us. The sun is setting and we've got about an hour until we have to meet everyone downstairs.

"Should we break in our room?" Edward gestures toward the newly remodeled suite around us.

"I'm afraid we'll ruin it," I joke while taking in the pristine fixtures. "It's so pretty."

"It's nothing compared to the view."

I look back out the window. "You can say that again."  
"Bella, I was referring to you."

Lifting my face to his, I see his intense gaze is focused on me; his green eyes alight with fiery passion.

"Edward, I don't want to be late."

Jasper and Alice, in true Alice fashion, have decided to do things a little unorthodox. They're exchanging vows at midnight in the hotel. We're having a little rehearsal in an hour and then we're going to use the salon provided by the hotel to primp.

"Well…" he pauses to lower his face to my neck, nuzzling a little before continuing, "I suppose we could save it for later. I have something I want to give you first anyway."

"What? You didn't need to get me anything; you already do too much," I tell him, though I'm already bubbling inside, curious as to what it might be. I'm starting to think Edward is setting out to spoil me.

"It's nothing really. Just consider it an early birthday present."

I grin and bounce in place.

With a chuckle, he walks over to the armoire, reaches into his bag and pulls out a small, black box.

My heart starts pounding in my ears – it looks like a ring box.

Edward comes to stand before me, holding the box between his fingers.

My answer is already on my lips even though the cynical me is tearing at her duct taped mouth, glaring daggers at me.

He pulls back the lid to reveal a pair of stunning sapphire earrings.

Disappointment, followed by guilt, fills me, and I drop my chin. I can feel the red creeping once more. _Thank God I didn't open my big mouth. Really, it's only been a little more than a month. What did I really expect? And _why_ did I expect it?_

Strong, cool fingers press against my skin, raising my face to look into his. "Bella, what's wrong? If you don't like them, we can return them and find you something you like." His concern embarrasses me further.

I can feel tears burning the back of my eyes, threatening to spill over. "No, it's not that. I'm sorry, I just thought—Oh, I'm so stupid." I groan and push away, walking back to the window.

I stare out the glass, wondering how to explain. I love Edward, I do…but for a moment, I really thought that was a ring and I was excited. I would have said yes. I never expected to want something like that, and it scared me, only because I need to come clean before we ever get to that point.

My inner cynic has broken free of her restraints and is shrieking at the top of her lungs. _You know you can't marry him. I've heard those hopeful little musings, but honestly, you and I both know it's a pipe dream._

A few stray tears pour down my cheeks silently, burning hot, wet trails down my cheeks. But my hope is still alive. _Maybe he'll understand…maybe it won't matter to him._

_ Of course it will matter! Have you lost your fool mind? _

"Hey now… None of that. I'm really sorry, Bella." Edward is beside me, turning me to face him. "I'm going overboard, aren't I?" He snaps the jewelry box shut.

My tears slow and my jaw drops. _How could he think this is something he did wrong? _"No, Edward, it's not that at all. I don't really know why I reacted like this. I'm the one who's sorry." I need to make this right. "Please, can I see them?" I rub my hand over his, loosening his fingers on the velvet and snatch the box from him.

I shut the door on the bitch within me, focusing instead on Edward and only Edward. He's all that matters.

I open my gift once more and tears well again. The earrings are exquisite. My birthstone, which he knows I love.

"Oh, wow," I exclaim in a breathy voice, "these are amazing." _And they'll go perfectly with my dress!_ "Thank you so much."

Placing a gentle kiss on my hair and wiping away a single, glistening tear, Edward murmurs, "I'm glad you like them. Why don't we go get cleaned up and get ready to go downstairs, yes?"

Nodding once again, I grip his hand like my life depends on it, dragging him to the bathroom. I will find a way to explain and pray that he'll understand, but now is not the time.

"Would you like to shower alone?"

I halt in my tracks and look at him, my body quivering, suddenly afraid. "Not a chance."

*O*O*

I feel much better after a luxurious shower. Bathing with Edward is insanely better than bathing by myself. Thinking of his long fingers running through my hair and down my back, I shiver. Even without sex, that was the most intimate shower I've ever experienced.

Standing in front of the mirror, applying my make-up, I realize just how much I love him. The way he makes me feel, the way he knows me better than I know myself, the way he's concerned for my well being above his own, all of these attributes and so many more make him near perfection, and he deserves the same.

Edward comes around the corner and my current thoughts vanish. He looks positively delectable. His long legs are covered by black slacks and his torso by a blue dress shirt, the top few buttons left open just enough to leave me speechless. He has his suit jacket tossed casually over his arm and he's watching me intently.

"Um, Edward, you look," I swallow, "really great."

"I can say the same about you. Is that what you're wearing for the wedding?"

"No, this is just for rehearsal. They're going to strip me down and remake me in the salon before the ceremony."

"They'd better not, or I'll have a thing or two to say." Edward steps into the room and caresses my bottom gently, following it with a sharp tap.

"Ow!" I yelp. "You'd better watch yourself, Mr. Cullen."

*O*O*

"Alice, you look so beautiful," I whisper to her.

"So do you," she says.

"Thank you, but enough of this – let's get you married!"

"I agree completely," she says blissfully.

I stand at the end of the aisle, holding my bouquet of delphiniums, waiting for my music cue.

A piano starts to play a wistful tune and I walk toward the altar. Jasper has a look of serenity on his face as he stands flanked by Emmett. The men are both wearing black tuxedos, adorned with blue ties. Rosalie is sitting on the bride's side, next to Edward, looking absolutely glamorous in a short, red, Grecian style dress. The room is filled with white delphiniums and lilies. Alice has created a dreamlike atmosphere for her ceremony.

I reach the end and stand opposite Emmett. The music morphs into a softer melody and Ally makes her way to Jasper. Her eyes are only for him. Her dark hair is spiked in its usual style but is crowned by a small tiara, transforming her into a magical being. Her dress is short but extremely elegant. The bodice is form-fitting and the skirt flares from her waist stopping just below her knees in a full, fluffy cloud of tulle. Her shoes are essentially sparkling glass slippers specially made for a photo shoot by a designer friend of ours. She looks incredible.

Before I know what's happened, we've reached the end of the ceremony. Alice is in Jasper's arms, kissing him furiously. The piano music swells and the two rush out. Emmett and I follow at a slower pace. Edward and Rosalie come out a moment after us and a flurry of hugs, kisses, and well wishes shower the happy newlyweds.

I don't think I could be happier.

"So, how long till you're knocked up, Alice?" Emmett blurts out.

He laughs jovially and everyone waits for an answer.

Masking the pain that jolts through me with this subject, I laugh along with the rest. Edward gives me a glance and I smile as best as I can before, thankfully, Ally changes the subject and all of us head out to the casinos for a night of gambling and fun. I push away any thoughts of negativity and drown myself in the happy atmosphere.

We have a great time, blowing hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars, and no one wins anything. It doesn't seem to matter to anyone. Emmett is already going on about coming back tomorrow night to win his money back. Rosalie convinces him he's got plenty of time since we don't leave until Monday morning.

Edward hasn't been able to keep his hands off of me. Apparently the girls were right when they said he'd love my dress. I chose a bright blue, strapless dress that ends several inches above my knees with a bit of tulle extending past the hemline. It really accentuates my legs and, according to Edward, my butt looks great in it.

The sun is starting to peek over the horizon and we decide to call it a night and meet up again in the afternoon. Edward and I walk slowly to our room, holding hands, my head resting against his shoulder.

I look up at him and whisper, "I love you, Edward."

He kisses my temple, murmuring, "My Bella."

**A/N: **Major apologies for the length of time between updates. I lost my notebook AKA my world, and suffered severe writer's block after its disappearance. Things are gonna start cookin' now! Whaddiya think happens next?


	17. Chapter 16

If it's **Twilight**, then it belongs to **Stephenie** **Meyer**, goddess of writing. If it's not **Twilight**, well, then it's **mine**. All _**mine**_. Muaahaha! *ahem* Enjoy.

**Red**, you are the **beta** to beat all betas. I bow down to you and your mad skills. *bowing*

My own personal cheering team, led by my **Twin**, **Sister**, and **Mamasita**, is amazing. I would wither and die without them.

****Warning:** Some content regarding pregnancy complications may be disturbing to some readers.**

Chapter Sixteen – BPOV

"Okay, I'll move that there and this will sound better here," I mumble under my breath.

I've been trying all day to finish this article, but it's just not coming together. I can't concentrate on anything, frequently finding myself lost in memories of Las Vegas.

_My back is pressed against the cool window. The sparkling lights reflect in Edward's eyes as he thrusts into me again and again. _

_ Focus, hornball, focus_, I scold myself.

The hours wear on and I finally finish my article. It's a little before five, but I'm leaving anyway. I'm not really of any use to anyone in my current state of mind.

I type a quick text to Edward to let him know I'm leaving, and he sends one back asking me to wait for him. I'm actually a little annoyed.

_Odd_. I'm never annoyed with Edward, but I just want to go home and relax for a bit. Maybe take a bath…

In the two months Edward and I have officially been a couple, I rarely spent any time alone. Generally this is not a problem, but I'm craving a little "me" time.

Sluggishly, I grab my purse and lock up my office. I stand at the elevators – our usual meeting place – and wait.

"Hey baby," Edward says, coming around the corner.

I yawn and respond, "Oh, hi."

"I just wanted to say goodbye before you left."

"Oh, you're not coming with me?" I have trouble hiding the relief in my voice.

He chuckles. "No, I've got some things to finish up here. Did you want me to stay away tonight?"

I know he'll give me time, all the time I need, but I don't really want to sleep without him. "Of course not," I tell him, stepping up on my toes to kiss his cheek.

"I'll call you when I'm done. I might be a little late though." He looks at me with questions in his eyes.

"That's okay. I'll be waiting for you," I whisper suggestively.

"I like the sound of that," he murmurs back, plucking at my lips with his own.

"You two are insane. Why don't you just move in together already?" Alice's voice interrupts our little make-out session.

With a nervous giggle, I break away. I really thought he'd have asked me by now. My lease is up and I don't really want to resign. Alice knows all of this of course.

"Really subtle, Alice." I roll my eyes at her.

Edward's lips lift in a mysterious-looking grin.

Before I can give him a second thought, Alice interrupts, speaking in a speed only she can manage, "I never claimed to be subtle. Hey, are you leaving, Bells?"

Training my focus on Alice, I answer, "Yes, unless you need me to do something."

Glancing awkwardly at Edward, Alice mumbles, "Can we talk in private?"

I don't like what I see in her eyes. She looks panicked.

"Oh," Edward says, "I'm sorry. I'll call you later, Bella." He kisses me quickly and turns away.

"Thank you," Alice says quietly, receiving the over-the-shoulder smile I've come to adore.

"What's wrong?" I ask, lowering my voice, mentally shaking my head to clear the fog left by my lover.

She looks around. "Not here. Can I come over to your place?"

"Of course you can," I tell her.

Time alone does not take precedence over my best friend.

*O*O*

My jaw refuses to close. I can't help it.

"Would you please stop?" Alice pleads. "I'm freaking out already."  
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, you're married. It shouldn't matter. It should actually be a good thing. Besides, you don't even know if you are."

Alice sits with the pregnancy test in her hands, nervous to the point of trembling.

"Ally, listen to me; I know it's early, but I'm sure Jasper will be thrilled. Besides, you're not even sure you are yet."

I've never seen her so rattled. I'm also surprised by own sense of calm. Six months ago, I would have been in a state of raw panic. I'm nearly a different woman now. Thanks to Edward. If poor Alice wasn't so upset, I'd smile.

"You're right. I should just get it over with." Alice rises, tears welling in her jewel-like eyes. She takes one step before turning around, whispering in a shaky voice, "I'm just not ready for this. It's too soon."

After a little more coaxing on my part, I manage to get her into the restroom to pee on the stick. It's hard to believe such a tiny piece of plastic can strike fear into the hearts of some woman and also bring so much joy to others.

When she comes out, I set the timer on my stove for the obligatory three minutes and sit, holding her hand, on the couch.

One minute passes in silence.

Two minutes.

Three minutes…_bing_.

Alice jumps. "I don't think I can look. Will you do it for me?"

Rising from my seat, I turn off the timer and answer, "Yes, of course, if you really want me to."

She nods, her head bobbing slowly.

I walk into the bathroom and see the stick sitting on the edge of my counter. It looks harmless. The company has apparently seen fit to make its tests a little more festive than they need to be. Why is it purple? And a digital screen? Wow. A lot has changed since the last time I saw one.

Why can't I move? It's only a step forward. It's not even my test.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. _Go look. Ease Alice's worry_.

I open my eyes, not seeing my bathroom, but the horrid, run down bathroom from James and Victoria's house. In my hands I hold the tiny stick, shocked by the positive sign in the box. I don't know what to do. I'm fourteen years old; I can't have a baby.

"Bella?" Alice calls from the living room. "What's wrong? Is it positive?"

_ Oh jeez. I've lost my mind. _

"Sorry! I'm just reading the directions."

"Um…I got one of those ones that says 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant.' What more do you need?"

With a nervous laugh, I apologize and quickly grab the test. It's negative.

"Ally, it's negative," I tell her. "You're not pregnant."

"Thank God!" she squeals and jumps on me from behind.

"Knock it off, psycho!" I joke.

"Bells, are you crying?" She slides off my back, her voice suddenly concerned.

"What? No, of course not." I reach up and find my cheeks wet.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks completely forgetting her near-pregnancy experience.

"Apparently my period is due soon. I'm just being oversensitive."

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"

Dashing a hand beneath my eyes, I admonish, "Stop it. I'm fine. Honest."

"Isabella, you cannot fool me. It was insensitive of me to have you read that test."

"I would have been offended if you hadn't come to see me."

She sighs heavily. "Have you told Edward yet?"

"Told him what?"

"About the baby, Bella. Don't play stupid."

"You know I did, Alice. Right after Jake showed up." I shudder. "I really don't want to bring it up again."

"That's not what I mean and you know it." She looks at my couch, grabs my hand and pulls me with her. "Come on."

Plopping down onto the cushions, I explain, "Ally, he has never even mentioned kids, so it's a non-issue. I wouldn't even think of marrying him if-,"

She interrupts loudly, "You are thinking of _marrying_ him? How have you _not_ told me this?"

"I don't know. I guess it just didn't come up." _Besides, it's not like he's asked me anyway. _

"So, you're saying if he wants kids, you'd say no?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. If he wants to have a baby, I can't give it to him. But, he's never said anything about it, so I'll admit I've thought a time or two about what it'd be like to be," I giggle, "Mrs. Cullen."

"Wow. I'm in shock. I never thought I'd see the day when my best friend would even consider marriage. That being said, you need to talk to him about this. He needs to know." Ally gives me a sidelong glance, cocking an eyebrow as she does. "You know, your mood swings are giving me whiplash. I've never seen you so all over the place."

"Yeah, I think I'm gearing up for the period from hell." I sigh. "Sometimes it really sucks to be a woman."

Alice tips her head back and laughs. "You've got that right!"

We sit and chat for a while before Ally heads home to Jasper. Checking the clock as I close the door behind her, I notice it's time for Edward to be leaving the office.

Inner bitch chooses this moment to snark. _You know you have to tell him. It's not fair if you don't._

_ Since when are you pro-Edward?_

I don't believe it when she stumbles over herself. _Well, he is pretty…_

Even the voices in my head are thrown by his beauty.

I shake my head, trying to clear the confusion brought on by my thoughts.

Fortunately, distraction comes in the form of Edward's ring tone.

Opening the phone, I answer, "Hello?"

"You up for a visitor?"

"I don't know. My boyfriend might not like that too much," I tease.

"No, you're right. He wouldn't like it, but I would." His voice is so sexy, I'd probably give him any and everything he wanted.

"I don't have any food in the house though…" I trail off, worried he might be upset with me.

A chuckle sounds in my ear followed by, "I thought you might not, so I'm downstairs, Chinese food in hand."

"You're my hero, Edward Cullen."

"Just let me in, wench."

Laughter bursts from my lips as I buzz the door for Edward.

*O*O*

"Dinner was delicious; thank you, Edward," I say, leaning across my dining room table to place a kiss on his oh-so-delectable mouth.

"If you're going to thank me like this, I'll bring you dinner every night," he says when we part lips.

"You're going to drive over here every night to bring me dinner?" I ask with a smirk.

"Well, that or…" he pauses nervously, "you could move in with me."

I'm not sure if I heard him right. "What?"

"I know it's a little soon. I mean, I've only known you for five months, only two of which we've been a couple, but I feel like I've known you for—."

I cut him off by placing my index finger over his lips. "I would love to."

He rises from his chair, pulls me from mine, and squeezes me tight to his chest. "Really? You want to live with me?"

"I do."

A bubble of mirth escapes his lips and he jokes, "It's a little soon for that, isn't it?"

Blushing furiously, I nod my head. I can't help the jolt of guilt I feel. Not only have I thought about what it would be like to marry Edward, I've actually started hoping he'll ask.

"So," he says, releasing me from his iron grasp, "when do we have to have you out of here?"

"I have a week left on my lease," I admit, mumbling under my breath.

"A week? Cutting it pretty close, aren't you?" He gives me a sidelong glance. "You knew I was going to ask, didn't you?"

Now it's my turn to laugh. "I didn't know, no, but I hoped."

Giving him a smack on the ass, I walk over to flop on my couch.

"You want to watch a movie or something?" Edward asks, watching me stretch out.

"Sure. You pick."

"Alright, just give me a minute. I gotta take a leak."

"You're gross," I tease and throw a pillow at his retreating figure.

He shuts the door with a laugh and the pillow bounces off the wooden frame.

I lay my head back, reveling in the realization I'm actually going to be sleeping with and waking up with Edward every night and day. I can't stop the grin from spreading across my face.

I hear the bathroom door creak open and I look across the room to see Edward standing stock still.

_ Oh shit! I forgot to put the test stuff away! Damn it, damn it, damn it!_

"Everything alright?" I ask cautiously.

"Bella," he squeaks, "is there something you want to tell me?"

"No, no, no. Don't worry! It's not mine. It's Alice's, but she's not pregnant either. It was a false alarm," I say, attempting to reassure him.

He walks toward me slowly before plopping onto the couch by my feet. He looks a tad shell shocked.

"You okay?" I ask again, hoping he doesn't want to leave.

Looking at me a bit dazedly, he nods and says, "I was just a little surprised is all. Don't get me wrong, you and I would make some beautiful kids, but it's too soon."

"Too soon?" I ask, my stomach flipping sickeningly. "You mean, you _do_ want kids?"

"Oh, sure…eventually, but I think I'd like us to live together for a while before we get anywhere near there, don't you?"

Raw panic eats at my insides. _Oh God… He does want children. We're over before we've begun. No! It's not fair!_

My horror must show on my face, because Edward is suddenly pulling me into his lap murmuring quietly in my ear, "Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry. Don't be upset. Shh…"

_ Why is he shushing me? _

Warm hands cup either side of my face, thumbs brushing tears away from my eyes.

_ When did I start crying?_

Alice was right. I have to tell him and I have to tell him now – before I move in with him.

"Edward," I say in a garbled voice, "we need to talk."

"Bella, you're scaring me."

I look into his eyes and I see the truth in his words. He looks genuinely terrified, and he should. I'm not right for him.

"You should be scared, Edward," I tell him, pushing off his lap to sit on the cushions again.

Curling myself into a protective position, knees up, arms crossed over them, I tell Edward my last secret. The one I have been holding back. The one I never thought I'd have to relive.

Dragging a ragged breath into my chest, I start, "Remember when I told you I became pregnant at fourteen?" He nods. "Well, I never told you what happened to my baby – my daughter. When I made the decision to leave, after being berated by Victoria and Jake, I fled to my room to pack. I knew I couldn't stay in that house a moment longer."

My skin crawls when I remember the way James sat in his mustard yellow recliner, ogling my filled-out body as I ran through the living room. I could hear Jake and Victoria screaming in my wake, so I tripped up the stairs. I shudder and wrap my arms tighter around my legs.

"I had just finished packing and was checking over my little hole in the attic when Jake came in the room. I could hear him breathing heavily; smell the alcohol permeating from him. I remember trembling so violently I dropped a book I was holding. Apparently the sound of the book hitting the wooden floor triggered something in him, and he lunged at me, yelling, 'You're not having that kid!' over and over and over. He was in my face, screaming. I tried to sneak around him, but he was huge. He still is. He calmed for a few seconds, so I took my shot and slipped under his arm, grabbing my suitcase from the bed. I got to the top of the stairs when he pulled at the back of my shirt. I fought against him and fell – all the way down the stairs."

I can't hold it back any longer. Tears stream down my cheeks as I remember the pain and the terror.

"I started to bleed heavily. Victoria called an ambulance. Why, I'm not really sure. I knew she didn't care about me. I think she just didn't want me dying in her house to be quite honest.

"When I got to the hospital, the doctors said my water had broken. I wasn't even aware of the contractions that had to be wracking my body. I was so young. They delivered my baby at seventeen weeks. They told me she was a girl, but she was stillborn. She never stood a chance. Jake killed my baby."

I completely break down, sobbing hysterically, unable to continue. There's more I need to tell him, but I'm not sure if I can.

Edward pulls my hands apart and pulls me back onto his lap, cradling me, rocking me gently. He whispers in my ear, but I can't really hear him. I'm just trying to get myself under control. I need to tell him the rest.

My sobs slow and I suck in a shuttering breath. "I'm sorry, Edward. I was hoping to get through this without losing it. It's just…it's been a long time since I've really talked about this."

"Please, darling, don't apologize. I wish I could make it go away." He smoothes my hair away from my face, stroking gently. "I'm so sorry, my Bella, so sorry."

I look into his eyes and pray he won't run away from me. I need him so much. Please, please don't leave, I plead silently.

"I'm not telling this to you just for the hell of it. There is a real reason behind this—this torture." Sitting in his lap, I feel comforted and able to go on. "After my baby was delivered, apparently there were complications. I don't really understand it fully. I was on a lot of medication and I was a teenager. I don't think it really sank in. Anyway, the jist of it is, I can't have children, and I can't be with you anymore, because I can't give you the kids you deserve to have one day. It wouldn't be fair to you." I keep my eyes fixated on my hands, terrified to look into his face and see the disgust bound to be in his eyes at my having kept such a huge secret from him.

When Edward speaks, his voice is firm, angry even. "Isabella, don't tell me what I do and do not deserve. I deserve to be happy, and what makes me happy is you." He places his fingers beneath my chin, forcing me to gaze in his infinitely wise eyes. "Yes, I think kids would be great someday, but that's not a deal breaker for me. If you don't want to have children, we won't. If you do, we can adopt, take a child from the broken foster care system, but Bella, please, please don't take yourself away from me. I can't live without you."

He still wants me?

Somehow, and I'm not sure how this is even possible, I feel a small grin play on my lips. "You can't live without me?"

Edward falls over sideways on the couch, pulling me with him. "Of course I can't live without you. I practically stalked you! Bells, does this mean you'll still move in with me?"

"Yes, I will."

**A/N: **Time for some pimping! Take note and then leave me a review. ;)

Do you like a kickass sort of Bella? Then you really need to read _Bella's Lament_ by Tat2missy.

How about an angsty, beautiful love? Learning to Love Again by opal aline is right up your alley.

Newly completed _Shattered and Shrouded_ will give you lemons – chocolate covered lemons. Yeah, you heard me. Go read Red20881's masterpiece.


	18. Chapter 17

**I own nothing pertaining to Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer does. All hail the goddess!**

Thank you so much to my beautiful beta, _Red_. You deserve an award. Really.

To the _Girls_. You know why. ;)

_Twin_, if it wasn't for your constant *tapping* I'd be lost.

Onward we go!

**Chapter 17 – EPOV **

_Thud_.

_Ow! Shit, that hurt. _

Apparently I've stacked things a little more precariously than I originally thought.

Rubbing my head, I bend to retrieve the photo album from the floor. I open the brown leather cover and peruse through various memories. Most of the pictures are of Angela and I doing random things: vacation, road trips, birthdays…

I smile at the glossy prints and close the book with a soft _thump_. I want to get all the pictures of Angie put away before Bella moves in. It's not as though they've been on display since I've been dating Bella, but the albums were on the bookshelf in the living room. I don't want Bella to feel any discomfort – give her any reason to hesitate. I want her to be as happy as I am about her moving in.

Stepping from the closet, I flick off the light and close the door behind me. I cleared half the space within for Bella's things. I even made sure the closet in the guest room was cleared before giving her the go-ahead to bring her things here tomorrow.

Looking around my bedroom, I take in the masculine décor. It never occurred to me before now, but Bella may want to redecorate. I have no problem with that; I just never realized how…unfeminine my—our—apartment is.

We'll have to go shopping this weekend to get some things that can be _ours_ rather than _mine_ or _hers_. We can celebrate our cohabitation a bit. I chuckle under my breath, thinking how I'd really like to celebrate and I decide to take a break from cleaning to call my better half.

*O*O*

"Edward, please be careful," Bella admonishes while I push the bulky object into the small elevator. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

The only piece of her furniture she wanted to keep is a hope chest she bought when she moved into her place. It's an antique and it's important to her, so I'm trying my damnedest to get it safely upstairs. It barely fit in the backseat of her car and was covered with boxes that were crammed to the roof. We finally made it into the building and to the elevator. After much grunting and shoving, we watch the doors close in front of us. Bella flops down on its cedar lid, breathing heavily.

I look down and smile. "You alright, baby?"

"Better than I've ever been." The smile lighting her face shines with truth.

I bend to kiss her head as the elevator _dings_ our arrival. "Me too."

I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing this is our last load. Everything of Bella's will be in. I sigh in relief. She's where she belongs.

The doors open and Bella looks up at me with a grin. "You ready to get this over with?"

I laugh and answer, "I'm just glad everything is _home_."

She steps into the hallway and sighs. "I really like the sound of that."

We push the hope chest over the threshold and I close the door behind us. Standing together, my arm over her shoulder, her head against my chest, we take in the sight before us. The stacks of boxes, armloads of clothes, shoeboxes galore…

"The last piece is in, baby. You are officially moved in," I tell her.

Bella's arms wrap around my middle. "Do we really have to unpack right now? I can think of much better ways to spend our time," she purrs.

"As much as I'd rather be doing…well, naughty things to you, we really should get your things into their rightful places. Darling, we have plenty of time for that later."

Whining, she replies, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Her hand drops down my back and slaps my ass with an open palm before moving away from me. I reach out and land a sharp tap on her swaying backside. With a giggle, she disappears into the bedroom.

*O*O*

In the last few hours, we've only had one stumble. Bella happened to come across my photo albums.

I was standing in the kitchen when I heard her voice coming from down the hall in our bedroom. She sounded distressed.

"Edward?" she called. "Can you come here, please?"

I covered the distance between us in a matter of seconds, flying into the room. When I popped my head around the corner of the closet, I saw her wide eyes, staring up at me from the floor, the brown leather album clutched in her hands.

"Why are you hiding these?" she asked, her eyes bright with unshed tears. This is your home and I don't want you to change things for me."

I sank to my knees and took the book from her delicate fingers. Placing it on the carpet beside her, I pulled her to her feet. She looked so desolate and so beautiful.

Wrapping my arms around her, I held her close and spoke to her in a quiet, but firm voice. "Bella, listen to me. For starters, this is your home, too. It's ours – together. Get that through your head right now." I wiped a stray tear from her porcelain cheek and placed my hand at the small of her back.

A small smile played across her lips before her tongue poked out to wet them.

Trying not to moan, I told her, "Bella, baby, we aren't going to get anything accomplished if you make another of those hot-as-hell gestures."

Her adorable blush colored her face and I went on. "I wasn't hiding these albums. I just wanted you to feel at home here with me and I didn't think you'd appreciate pictures of my old girlfriend all around." I shrugged. "I wouldn't enjoy seeing pictures of you with your exes."

She scolded me then. "Edward, let me start by saying, there were no boyfriends other than Jake," she shuddered delicately, "and I don't really count him. I don't think you're fully grasping just how much I've changed since I've known you. It's a complete one-eighty." She paused to stand on her toes and kiss my cheek, pulling me closer. "Anyway, I don't know how to express my complete and utter happiness in being here with you. You're everything I never knew I wanted and that includes your past. Angela was an enormous part of your life, and I'm not going to take her away from you. Please, just put them back in the living room on the bookshelf. When we uncover the few I have, we'll stack them side by side. Okay?"

A stray tear leaked from the corner of my eye. Embarrassed, I quickly dashed it away with my hand.

"Baby, I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I feel incredibly blessed to have someone like you in my life. I love you so much." I put each hand on either side of her beautiful face and pulled her to me, our lips meeting in a sweet, slow motion.

Bella leaned back slightly and my hands fell to her hips. "I love you, too – so much my heart aches at times."

I had a hard time not leading her to our bed, shoving all the piles of clothing to the floor, and taking her right then and there, but I couldn't get past all of her clothes stacked everywhere. Instead, I kissed her again, starting with her forehead, trailing my lips over her skin, dropping kisses at her temple, her cheekbones, her eyelids, her nose and, finally, stopping at her lips.

She pulled away, breathless, eyes hooded, and murmured, "I think we should christen our bed and forget all about unpacking for the time being."

"Oh, Bella, as much as I'd love to take you here and now, we need to get things put away so I can take you out. We need to celebrate."

I told her all about my plan and even though she protested, I could see the sparkle of excitement in her eyes. We continued organizing, knowing we wouldn't finish this afternoon, but wanting to get her necessities taken care of.

*O*O*

It's been a couple of hours since then and my stomach is rumbling. We've only stopped for cold sandwiches while standing at the counter and all this hard work is appetite inducing.

"Bella, are you hungry?" I call out, not sure where she is at the moment.

"Starved," is her muffled response from, what sounds like, the spare bedroom.

"Great. Me too. Should we give the unpacking a rest for now?"

"Sounds wonderful." Her voice is closer now.

I walk to the end of the hallway that opens into the living room and am rewarded by a wonderful sight – Bella, stripping off her shirt and unbuttoning her jeans.

Seeing my dumbfounded look, she grins at me. "I just wanted to take a quick shower." With her hot pink t-shirt balled in her fist, she gestures to the bathroom door.

Clearing my suddenly dry throat, I respond with a squeak. _Awesome. The epitome of verbose, aren't you?_

Mentally rolling my eyes, I clear my throat again and start over, "That's cool. I'll just get changed and get ready…," I trail off when she slips her tight jeans down her hips and steps out of them, revealing a completely bare triangle at the apex of her thighs.

Reaching behind her back with one hand, she releases the clasp on her bra, letting it drop to the floor.

She speaks in a low, sexy voice, "I thought you might like to join me. You know, I may need help washing my back."

Tripping over my own feet, I stumble my way down the hall. My mind repeats the same phrase over and over, heated and rapid. _Gotta get to Bella. Gotta get to Bella._

With a giggle, she darts into the bathroom.

Turning the corner into the small room, I catch a glimpse of Bella's slim calf as she slips behind the shower curtain.

_Oh God._

I hear the squeak of the faucet being turned on and the water splashing down into the tub and…_onto naked Bella_.

Why am I not in the there right now?

Faster than I would have believed possible, I rip my clothes off, nearly falling on my face when I belatedly remember to close the door. The result is a crazy sort of half-pirouette. I trip, and the door slams shut.

Bella's pale face, framed by cascades of wet, dark hair peeks out. "Everything alright?" She pouts. "I'm getting lonely in here."

"Gluh," is all I can manage.

She laughs and disappears again.

Determined to make it to the shower with no damage to myself or my raging hard-on, which is standing straight off my pelvis, I walk slowly to the bathtub.

I pull back the curtain just enough to step in behind the most gorgeous backside I've ever seen. Her spine is mostly covered by her heavy sheet of hair – it ends a few inches shy of her hips. Her ass is high and tight, melding into her trim, shapely legs. Just looking at her makes my dick twitch.

A mocha-colored eye peeks over her shoulder. "What did you say?"

"Huh?" I realize I must have said something aloud. "Oh, nothing, babe."

I step closer to her and wrap my arms around her middle, my chin resting on her shoulder. Bella's head falls back against me and I move her hair away from her graceful neck. I press my lips to the hot, wet skin, kissing and sucking the drops of moisture clinging there. Her hands reach behind me, squeezing my ass-cheeks and she moans. I twist my hips, grinding my erection into her back. My hands wander all over her slippery body, tweaking her pebbled nipples, running fingers over her pelvis.

"Oh, Edward…," she moans, her fingernails biting into my flesh. Turning, she drapes her arms over my shoulders; her tongue flicks out, licking the streams of water pouring over my chest. "We're going to try something a little different," she murmurs into my skin.

Bella steps back, pulling me with her more fully into the falling water. She looks at me through hooded eyes. The steam rising around her gives her the appearance of a mystical figure – a water sprite perhaps. I keep my eyes locked with hers as she sinks into a crouch, her mouth closing over my hardness with a quick, but strong, suck.

"_Fuh_," I breathe.

She releases me and smiles up at me guiltily. "That's not what I meant. Sorry."

She giggles and turns once more. Bracing her hands on the built-in shower shelves, she wiggles her ass at me - her perfect, heart-shaped ass. My hand reaches out against my will and gives her a sharp smack.

To my intense surprise, she whimpers loudly, "Oh, yeah, do it."

I'm completely taken aback, but incredibly turned on.

I rub myself against her slick opening, the water splashing down on us. Gripping her hips tightly in my hands, I enter her, not wanting to push too hard. The angle from this position gives such an intense sensation, the air passes through my teeth in a hiss. She shoves her hips back at me, pushing me deeper inside.

I pause for a moment, my fingers tight against her skin. "_Shit_," I grind out.

She sets her pace, moving forward and backward while I stand, lost in the feeling. The hot water, the steam, the tightness, the view – it's almost too much to handle.

Keeping one hand at her waist, I lean over her, reaching a hand up to fondle her breasts. "Baby, I don't want to hurt you," I whisper, dropping kisses on her back.

"Trust me – you won't." The heat in her voice drives a shiver down my spine. "Harder. Do it _harder_."

Straightening, I wrap my fingers around her hips once more, pulling myself from her. I thrust into her again and again, her pace matching my own, creating a rhythmic slapping of our bodies. I feel her tightening, threatening to squeeze me dry, and I continue moving. The motions are becoming frenzied and stars are shooting across my vision as I near my peak.

Bella lets out a yell as her muscles clench around me. The sound of her voice in pure ecstasy cuts the cords of all my reasoning capabilities and I fall, floating back to the earth in a haze, spilling everything I have inside of her.

"Fuck me!" I cry.

A quiet murmured response comes from Bella. "I just did."

I chuckle, holding my position for a moment more and pull away from Bella.

She stands, stretching, on shaky legs. "We're losing our hot water. We might want to wash now."

I step closer to her and sigh. "Only you could think about something as trivial as washing at this moment."

Bella looks up sheepishly. "Well, I _am_ hungry."

"Me too," I say and grab the loofah and body wash.

As much as I would love to stay in the shower, washing Bella, making love to her, the water is growing colder by the second, so we quickly clean ourselves and climb out of the tub.

Once we're dried and dressed, we lock up the apartment and make our way to a nearby Italian restaurant.

The food is fantastic, and we're having a great time. It's wonderful knowing I get to live with this amazing woman – hopefully forever. I smile at Bella, staring into the chocolaty depths of her eyes, and I'm suddenly distracted by a flash of blond hair.

Noticing my preoccupation, Bella's eyes follow mine, landing on the man and she tenses immediately.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Nothing. It's nothing," she mutters, shifting uneasily in her chair.

Looking more closely at the blond, I realize I recognize him. He's staring at Bella. _He's dead._

"Can we take this home? I'm not very hungry anymore." Bella's eyes are frozen to her plate.

"Of course, but I'm not going to let him get away with this," I growl.

Her eyes widen and she gasps, "No! Don't say anything, please. I just want to go."

"Bella, this is ridiculous – he's practically following you!" My voice rises in anger.

"I'm sure it's just a coincidence."

"Coincidence, my ass," I say, shoving my chair back from the table. With an angry stride, I wind through the many tables over to the corner booth, glaring straight into his scared eyes. "Mike, is it?" He nods. "You mind if I ask what you're doing here?"

He stutters in his answer, "I-I'm having di-dinner. Is that a crime?"

I notice there is nothing at his table but a glass of water.

"Looks like an excellent vintage," I reply scathingly. "Can you explain how it just happens you're having dinner in the exact same place we are?" He sputters an unintelligible response and I go on, "Would you mind stepping outside with me for a minute?"

I give him no time to respond as I jerk him up by his shirtfront.

I look over at Bella while I'm dragging Mike to the door and see her throwing money on the table, murmuring to the waiter.

I shove Mike out the door ahead of me, seeing red. I'm not sure if I've ever been so pissed – no, that's too mild. I'm livid.

I push him against brick wall of the building, feeling the _thud_ of his body hitting the concrete. "Why are you following Bella? What do you want with her?"

He whimpers, "I don't know what you're talking about. It's just a misunderstanding; that's it. I swear!"

"Like I believe that! You're fucking lying. Spill it or I will spill _you_ all over this sidewalk." I'm not really a violent man, but in this moment, I feel as though I could really live up to my threat.

"Oh God," he whines, looking down.

He pissed himself.

"Edward! What are you doing?" Bella grabs at the back of my shirt; I didn't hear her approach.

Without looking at her, I answer, "I'm getting an explanation. Mike? Where were we?"

His eyes flit from me to Bella. "Look, I'm sorry, but he paid me – a lot. He wanted me to follow you." He nods toward her.

She releases my shirt and steps to my side. Her mouth opens and the word that spills from it is full of anguish, "Who?"

"Jacob Black."

I drop Mike just as I see Bella fall to the ground in a dead faint.

**A/N:** Just when you thought they were living happily ever after…


	19. Chapter 18

**You should all know by now Twilight does not belong to me, but it does belong to Stephenie Meyer. Copyright infringement definitely not intended. **

**Red**, my incredibly amazing beta, I can't thank you enough for all you do. Um, I like, you know, *toe scuffing* love you and shit. ;)

**Twin**, you know I'd die without you, right? JSYK.

**The** **Girls**, you light up my days with your love and humor…not to mention porn. Fuck, that's awesome.

Hey! Hey, Sarah! Hi. :)

**Chapter Eighteen – EPOV**

What was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life has turned into one of the worst. When I bent to help Bella, Mike ran off. I carried her to the car and got out my cell phone. Bella roused and was able to give me his last name, at least, what we believe to be his last name, which I gave to the cops. I made a plan to get a restraining order first thing Monday morning. The only thing I can't figure out is why Jake would have Bella followed. He essentially threw her to the curb – in the worst of ways.

I walk into our bedroom and see Bella, curled into a ball, staring out the window at the lights of the city.

"Bella? Can I get anything for you?"

"No." Her voice is so defeated my heart breaks.

A sniffle from the bed pulls me to her.

I can't imagine how scared she must feel. Climbing into the bed, I wrap my arms around her and silently vow, _I will protect her – no matter what._

"I wish I knew why he's doing this, because it doesn't make sense. But I guess none of it ever did." She sounds frustrated, but resigned, as though this was an eventuality, something she always knew she'd have to deal with.

I hold her until she falls asleep. When I'm sure she's out, I slip quietly from the bed and go to the living room to boot up the computer.

Unsure of where to start, I pull up Google and type in _Jacob Black_. It brings up thousands of pages, most of which are completely unrelated to the Jake I'm looking for. Sifting through the links, I finally see one with a description that could fit him. It's a Facebook page.

I click on it, finding myself somewhat startled by his wide, white smile staring back at me. This is definitely him. I frown, contemplating the man before me. His picture is incredibly deceiving; a warm, inviting expression set in his round, dark face. It's almost hard for me to believe this is the same guy who stormed into Bella's office – almost. I can read everything he's ever posted, not that there's much here. There are a few pictures, some fairly innocuous posts. I open his profile. _Jackpot_! I'm a little surprised to find he hasn't adjusted any of the privacy settings. His phone number and work information are listed right here in black and white. I'm amazed at how many people don't sensor the things they post online. _Oh well_, I think to myself, a humorless smirk lifting my lips. _This definitely works to my advantage_.

I write out all of the pertinent information, desperate to get this asshole behind bars and away from my Bella.

_I will do this for her. Even if it kills me. _

Falling into bed, I listen to Bella's soft, even breaths. With a sigh, I curl behind her, wrapping an arm around her middle, sliding the other beneath her pillow. I envelope myself in her clean, warm scent, hoping to erase the day's worries enough to sleep. The last sound I register is a low moan in Bella's throat. I pull her closer to me and sink into oblivion.

**BPOV**

I wake, heavy with dread. The sun has yet to rise, and I can't get the image of Edward's fierce glare out of my mind. Unbeknownst to him, I know what he was up to last night. As soon as he left me alone, my eyes flew open. I lay there for a few moments, watching the swirl of gray clouds through a part in the curtains, trying to fall back asleep. But it was a fruitless attempt. Instead, I tiptoed down the hall and peeked around the corner. Lucky for me, Edward was seated at the desk in the far corner of the rectangular living room, his back to the hallway. Jacob's face stared at me from the computer screen, even with the distance between us. I could hear Edward mumbling something. It was quiet, almost a growl, from deep within his chest.

"_Fucker_."

I'm not even sure he knew he said it aloud. I watched him scribble on a legal pad before tearing off the top sheet and stashing it in a drawer. He put his hands against the edge of the wood and pushed back from the laptop, slamming down its lid with a small thud. Worried Edward would be upset with me spying, I flew down the hall as quietly as possible. I hopped into bed, pulling the covers over my curled figure. I slowed my breathing, sucking in deep breaths through my barely parted lips. Relaxing my body was a feat and a half. I couldn't stop wondering what Edward was doing looking Jake up. I don't want him anywhere near Jacob. That's a part of my past and nothing he should worry himself with.

Edward snores lightly behind me, and I decide to make him breakfast, determined to create a sense of normalcy. That is, if I can escape the warm cocoon I'm wrapped in. I place a soft kiss on his forearm before lifting it lightly and slipping from the bed. My feet hit the floor with a soft _thud_, and my eyes flash back to make sure my escape has gone unnoticed. I smile at my success.

My eyes shift from the bronze god on the bed to the floor and the mess I've left there, and my uplifted lips twist into a grimace. I know Edward doesn't care much for disorder, and I feel a little guilty for being so unorganized since I stepped foot in this apartment. If I can keep busy enough, it might be easier to make our first weekend of cohabitation a little more commonplace, joyful, even; we deserve that much at least.

Sighing quietly to myself, I bend to pick up the discarded clothing and drape it over my arm. I tiptoe around the room, collecting stray pieces, when I spot Edward's pajama pants tucked under his side of the bed. Giggling quietly, I dump all of the dirty clothes in the laundry basket and pick the pants up off the floor, folding them neatly, and place them on the dresser.

_Won't he be surprised? _

With another soft giggle, I head to the kitchen to prepare what I can. A quick glance at the stove's clock tells me it's far too early to start breakfast. I feel a small surge of annoyance and turn to lean against the counter, my arms crossing over my chest. Looking around the room, I find myself filled with chagrin once more.

I've left boxes on the counters, the floor, the table… _Well, at least there's a lot to do to keep myself busy and not focus on—on_, I mentally stumble over the words, finally settling on, _other things._

Grabbing my iPod from the wall charger, I pop the earbuds into my ears, and I dig into my cleaning as quietly as I can, putting things away, making the room sparkle.

When I finally empty all of the boxes in the kitchen, I notice the sun is just starting to make an appearance. I grab a fresh cup of coffee and walk over to the window, staring out at the quickly brightening sky. I hum tunelessly, catching random notes in the music while I watch people out on the street below: some walking along with their own morning caffeine fixes, a group of overdressed people leaving an all-night café, a person walking a dog, and…_ Holy shit!_ _Mike?_ He's sitting on a bench, talking into a cell phone. He doesn't notice me. Suddenly, he looks up, his expression darkening. He slams his cell shut - still unaware of my presence - speaking heatedly to someone I can't see. My view is blocked by a vendor's umbrella. He looks pissed, gesturing angrily to the building. I feel my heart race, terror freezing me to the floor. Mike turns to walk away, and he's grabbed by a strong looking arm. Just one more step and I can see who the mystery man is.

I find myself quietly whispering, "One more, just one more…"

Mike pulls back, and the other person steps forward, his beautiful face set in anger as it becomes clear to me.

I can't feel my legs. This can't be happening. No. _No!_ Fear clenches my throat, followed by a sudden swell of rage. _Why_? _Why can't I be allowed to live in peace? _The questions scream in my mind, and I make a snap decision to deal with this here and now.

I rip my iPod from my head and throw it across the room. It smacks against the floor with a soft slap before sliding across the floor. I turn away and pause for a moment, listening. Edward's muffled snore quells my momentary worry.

He will not be subjected to this. This is my problem, no one else's.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, my sense of reason is shrieking, begging me to stop, to call the police, Edward, anyone – do anything but do what I'm about to do. My vision is impeded by a red haze; my ears are ringing, drowning out any doubt.

Running into the bathroom, I throw on some clothes, determination hardening my resolve. I _will_ end this today.

**EPOV**

I wake up, stretching in the brightness that fills the room, reaching out for Bella. Coming up empty, I sit up to find I'm alone. _Hmm, I wonder where she is._

Looking around, I see she's tidied up. The hamper is full of the clothes that were, just last night, coating the bedroom floor. I spy my lounge pants atop the dresser, folded nice and neat. Smiling, I hop up from the mattress and grab my pants, stepping into them, and I pull open the top drawer, grabbing a white t-shirt, slipping it over my head as I turn.

A bright light reflecting from another building momentarily blinds me, and memories of last night fill my vision. A seed of worry in my gut begins to sprout, and I'm filled with the need to see Bella, to hold her in my arms right _now_. It's extremely irrational, but I can't stop it. I mindlessly grab my cell, checking for messages and coming up empty. I shove it into my pocket and make four long strides across the plush carpet. Ripping open the door, I move quickly down the hall, looking in each room as I go. _No Bella._ I walk into the kitchen, struck again by the cleanliness. All of the boxes on the counters are mysteriously absent. Things are clean and neat, all in their rightful place, all except Bella. She's not here.

The sprout is growing, its leaves beginning to unfold.

_Still overreacting_, I think to myself, though I'm still unable to ease the worry. Trying to be realistic, I reason with myself. _She probably ran down to the bakery or something._ A glimmer shines in the corner of my eye. _What the hell?_ My attention is drawn to her iPod, tossed haphazardly in the corner; it's lying half hidden by the edge of the computer desk. Why would Bella leave this on the floor? I walk closer to the discarded electronic device when another flash grabs my eye, pulling me to the window. Looking out, I see something – someone – I didn't expect to see here, especially not now. Mike, standing by our building, deep in a fervent discussion with someone I can't see, completely oblivious to his surroundings. Movement draws my gaze down the sidewalk, closer to the building. Wait, is that—no! _No_! What is she _thinking_?

I see Bella, my Bella, glaring ferociously at the object of her torment. Her mouth opens when she's about twenty feet away, startling him. Mike seems to be frozen, much like myself. _What the fuck am I still doing here?_

Sprinting to the front door, I slip into some shoes and jerk on the knob so fast I nearly wrench the door from its frame before slamming it firmly behind me. Rather than waste time with the elevator, I run down the stairs, skipping every other one. I skid to a halt at the bottom, regaining my balance. Light reflects off Bella's hair – shining red highlights amid the dark brown tresses – and I thank my lucky stars she's within view of the apartment building.

Without taking a second breath, I fly through the front door and jump from the top step, spraining my ankle in the process. Ignoring the shooting pain jabbing its way up my left leg, I move as quickly as I can to Bella, who is shouting profanities at the shocked man.

"What fucking right do you have, assholes? _Get out of my life, and stay out!_" Her voice pierces the morning air, and people are coming from all around to see what the commotion is all about.

"Bella, baby, c'mon," I murmur to her, pulling my cell out as I clutch her trembling body close to mine. "Let me call the police to pick his sorry ass up." I look up, glaring at Mike, who is inexplicably smirking. "Though, I'd love nothing more than to nail him to the wall."

Jerking away from me, she shrieks, "_No!_ You don't have anything to do with this! _Stay away!_"

Surprised by her sudden lashing out, I drop my arms immediately, letting her loose. I shove my phone back into my pocket, attempting to grasp her reasoning. She still doesn't seem to understand how completely embedded she is in my life, my heart. _Of course I have something to do with this… _My thought trails off when I regain my capacity for verbal communication, something other than the angry stare I'm giving her now.

Trying to keep my calm, I suck in a deep breath and release it slowly, growling, "The hell it doesn't."

I see the flash of Mike's teeth, his lips curling over them; his sneer does it. I shove past Bella, running rather clumsily, eliminating the remaining steps between us, desperate to lay this fucker out flat. He's been following her, stalking her, and he's going to pay.

Through the roaring in my ears, I hear a shrill voice demanding my attention, but I'm too full of adrenaline to stop now. I stand toe to toe with Mike, my body quivering with anticipation. How sweet it will be to see him lie bleeding on the sidewalk.

I pull back my fist, watching the play of emotions on his face, a mask of terror replaces his smug expression, and just as I'm ready to cut the cord and let him have it, someone grabs my elbow, effectively halting me. Turning, I find myself facing Jacob Black.

"_You_," I snarl, feeling raw fury claw at my chest. I jerk my arm back, stepping closer to the prick who seems intent on destroying my reason for existing. "How dare you step one foot anywhere near here – near _her_!" I jerk my head in Bella's direction, not wanting to lose my sight on him for a second, terrified he'll slip from my grasp when I've got him where I want him.

_This is so much easier than I thought it would be. The prey walks willingly into my trap_, I think absently. _And he won't escape._

Bella's sobs rip at my soul, her pain seeping into my bones, and I can no longer control myself. I grip either side of Jacob's collar, lifting him an inch or two off the ground.

Speaking through gritted teeth, I seethe, "Why did you come here? Why are you doing this to her – to us? You didn't want her. You threw her to the curb like she was yesterday's garbage…" I pause, swallowing a lump in my throat. "Why can't you just leave her be – let her live her life? What kind of sick, depraved, piece-of-shit, poor-ass excuse for a human being are you?"

Through his sputtering, a shriek and a scuffle draw my attention away from the scum I hold in my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, a flash of red-tinted mahogany flares in my vision. I lose my grip on Jacob, letting him stumble as I look for Bella.

A low, deep voice gasps behind me. "He didn't…"

Whirling, I see Jacob standing completely stunned, his mouth hanging open. Fear grips me in a whole new way at his words.

"What do you mean? What did he do? _Where is Bella?_" My voice rises in pitch and volume while panic sinks into my very soul.

"I-I-I can't believe he did it," Jake stutters. "Listen, man, you've got to understand something. I messed up. No, I fucked up – fucked up bad. I only hired Mike to make sure Bella didn't spill the secret. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." He looks up at me, guilt flooding his face. "You've got to call the police – now. He took her."

Ripping my phone from my pocket, I dial nine-one-one without even thinking about what I'm doing. I'm numb. It rings once, twice before someone answers.

"Nine-one-one. What's your emergency?"

"Please, help me. My girlfriend's just been _kidnapped_." I choke on the last word.

The operator asks for my address and any other information that might help the cops get here faster. Giving her everything I've got, my eyes never leave Jacob.

He's mumbling over and over the same phrase, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen…"

I hang up the phone after being assured a car is being sent as quickly as possible, disturbed by Jacob's reaction. "For any of what to happen?" I ask, letting my anger seep into my words, completely ignoring the small crowd of spectators. "Where is Bella?"

"You've got to listen to me, and you've got to trust me. I'm only speaking the truth."

I laugh darkly. "Yeah, I'll believe you, you sick, sadistic son-of-a-bitch. You broke a beautiful young girl's very spirit after you knocked her up. You tried to trash her reputation. You scorned her very existence. You pushed her down the _stairs_. Perfect credibility, you asshole."

"She told you about all that?" He sighs before continuing quickly, his eyes darting in every direction. "I suppose I knew she would, but that's not the point. When I came here a few months ago, I was fucked up. Seriously. I was wasted out of my mind. I was going to hire Mike to trail Bella, just to scare her, but see, here's the thing: he became completely bewitched by her. I decided he probably wasn't the best choice for the job, so I left." He gulps, taking in my expression and rushes on. "I got home to Phoenix and was in an accident…drunk driving." He pauses, immense guilt filling his eyes. "It was my fault. But anyway, I was forced into rehab, and I've changed. Man, I swear it-"

I cut him off with a wave of my hand, interrupting his vehement monologue. "I don't give a shit about your 'seeing the light.' All I care about is finding _her_." I can't even say her name for fear of breaking down. "You'd better spill, or I'm going to shove my fist so far down your throat it will come out your ass."

"I wanted to make amends with Bella. There was no excuse for what I did. I killed our baby. It was an accident, but it's still true. I did it, and I can't change that, but I can try to help now." With a renewed vigor, he continues his story while I listen for the sound of approaching sirens. "Mike called me out of the blue with an update on her. I was shocked since I didn't hire him. I told him to stay away, that I didn't need him, and he started mumbling something about her loving him, that she wanted him, she just didn't know it yet."

A cold chill creeps down my spine, and I hear the first squeal of a siren. "Do you know where he's taking her?" I ask quickly, determined to get out of him what I can.

A cop car screeches to a stop on the curb, drowning out Jacob's words. But it doesn't stop me from reading his lips, or keep me from seeing the completely helpless look in his eyes. My stomach falls to my feet, and my knees crumple beneath me.

She's gone.

**A/N: **Yeah, I suck. I know.


	20. Chapter 19

**Do you really think I own Twilight? Well, no, I don't. That's all Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for asking, though.**

**Chapter Nineteen – BPOV **

A quiet mumbling brings me to my senses. It tickles the edge of my awareness, slowly pulling back the thick veil of sleep from my mind. My eyelids part, little by little, revealing a fading orange light through a dirty window. _Sunset?_ The window is set high on the wall, cobwebs adorning its frame. I sit up, starting when the bedsprings squeak beneath me. Glancing around the room, I notice a sweet, rotting smell, a lack of furniture, and several small, mouse-sized holes in the bottom of the walls. Bereft is the only way to describe my surroundings. There's a threadbare patchwork quilt folded over the brass footboard. Just beyond the bed is a heavy, solid-looking door. My eyes pass over the wood paneling in the quickly darkening room, looking for a way out. The window appears to be my only option, other than the door, of course, but I don't think Mike is just going to leave the obvious exit open for my escape. He couldn't really be that dumb, could he? He's got to be smarter than he looks in order to have orchestrated my kidnapping.

Just thinking the word sends a chill down my spine.

The last few moments of my freedom, my images of Edward, are tainted by Jake. I know Mike said he was hired by Jacob, but why? Why have me followed? I'm sure anyone who wanted information - with a little bit of talent – would be able to ferret out any and everything from either of our pasts, let alone the loss of my child. Why have me kidnapped? For telling Edward?

_Oh, Edward!_

He shouldn't have to be involved in this. This is _my_ never-ending, horrid problem.

My desire to escape overpowers my fear, and I resolve to get away from here today…or this evening. I'm not really sure of the time.

I shake my head, trying to make sense of it all. As much as I'd love to know _why_ I'm here, I'm more concerned with being _away_ from here.

Maintaining an outward sense of calm I don't entirely feel on the inside, I still myself and open my ears, listening for anything that might help me get the hell out of Dodge. The mumbling outside the door seems to have stopped, and I risk the bed frame's protests by slipping as quietly as possible from the mattress. A light squeak sounds, and I pause. Not hearing anything, I keep moving. As soon as my feet touch the floor, I take a timid step forward, nearly losing my balance.

What did he do to me? I feel positively wretched. The room spins and the contents of my stomach threaten to reappear, so I close my eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths - in the nose, out the mouth; in the nose, out the mouth.

Regaining my composure, I take measured steps to the window, listening for the slightest change in the atmosphere. Any noise, any movement is critical.

Rising up on my toes, I peek out the window cautiously, not wanting to be seen from the outside. The sight is not unlike what I imagined: a small area clear of trees outlined by a dense forest. I see the van that brought me here.

_A van? How cliché_, I think sarcastically.

There is a stack of wood at the edge of the house's clearing, a rusty-looking axe leaning against the pile. Rubble is scattered about – obviously not a frequently-visited home. Perhaps this is a cabin-in-the-woods hideaway.

The blazing ball of light behind the trees is sinking fast, slimming my chances for escape tonight. I'd be crazy to go into the woods alone in the dark.

Letting my fingers slip from the windowsill, I feel a wave of terror wash over me; my breath quickens and shallows, and a pinch of fear clenches in my gut. I am scared, plain and simple. I feel my body giving way to the anxiety: tears prick the backs of my eyes, my throat burns, and a sob escapes my lips.

Sinking to the floor, my legs crumpling beneath me, I whisper, "I want to go home."

Despair floods any sense of reason and I curl into a ball on the hard, dirty floor, my hands gripping my biceps. I cry – cry until my tear ducts have released their last drops of moisture, and when they have, dry sobs wrack my frame. I watch dust balls fly over the floorboards with my exhalations. Eventually my breathing slows, my fingers release their iron grip on my arms and fall – one on the floor, the other draped over my ribs – and I lie watching the pieces of dust. They float, hovering mere millimeters above the wood, swirling in a rhythmic dance, mesmerizing me into a quiet daze.

I don't know how much time has passed, but the sun is gone and so is my hope for leaving this place tonight. Color flares at the corner of my vision, demanding attention. Without moving my head, I shift my gaze from the now invisible dancers to the light creeping in through the crack under the door. A clunking against the wooden floor brings two darkened shapes to block my strip of light.

"Bella?" Mike's voice whispers through the door, sending goose bumps racing over my skin.

I refuse to answer; instead, I pull myself up to stand against the wall, somewhat jerkily due to my lengthy inactivity. In an attempt to protect myself in any way possible, I stretch out my arms and clench my hands into fists. I don't know what he wants, but I'm not going to give it to him.

He raps gently on the door, and my nerves kick into overdrive, bringing the burn of nausea to my esophagus.

"Bella, baby?"

Before I can stop myself, bile spews past my lips, splashing noisily to the floor. I heave several more times, emptying the meager contents of my tender stomach. I'm aware of the scrambling at the door, Mike's desperate attempt to get in. As scared as I was before I started vomiting, I'm positively terrified of being this vulnerable with the man who kidnapped me so near.

Swiping a hand across my lips, I step away from my mess, trying to breathe through my mouth so the smell won't reach me. The door bursts open, a chain swinging wildly from the top making a metallic scratching sound fill the room.

"Are you alright?" Mike's panicked voice hitches at the sight of my vomit. "Oh, my God, I—I can't… I don't know what I'm doing—I mean, what to do. Bella?" He looks to me in confusion, as though I can enlighten him.

An idea strikes me in his seemingly genuine concern.

Letting my terror seep into my voice, I whimper, "Please, let me go. I won't tell anyone. I—I'm sick. I think something's wrong. Please, Mike." I pray this will somehow touch some hidden sensitivity, make him hesitate just long enough…

His watery, red-rimmed eyes meet mine unsteadily. He mumbles, leaning closer to me, "You're mine now. I won't let you go back to that…that," he spits the name, "_Cullen_."

I gasp, unable to guess at the venom in his voice. "But, why? I don't understand."

"He doesn't love you the way I love you. No one can love you—not even Black loves you like I do." He's close enough for the stench of alcohol to burn my nostrils.

He reaches an arm behind his back and the light gleams on the barrel of a small, black handgun.

_ Somebody, please, save me!_

**EPOV**

She's been gone for six hours – six of the longest, most agonizing hours of my life.

After spending the first two at the police station, spilling every minute detail that might possibly be of any consequence, they sent me home. They kept Jake for further questioning, but I don't really think he has anything more to do with this than he already confessed to. Despite what he's done by coming forward, I still plan to put a protection order in place. However, I can't do that until Bella is found.

_Bella_.

I'm terrified to think of what he might be doing to her, of what she's going through. She must be scared out of her mind.

"Shit!" I launch myself from my stiff position on the couch and pace back and forth, berating myself, trying to understand.

_ Why didn't I see it before now? Why didn't I do something, anything, before now? I just let it happen. If—no, _when_ I get her back, I'll never stop making it up to her. She'll never leave my sight again. _

The sun is starting to set, and I realize I haven't called Alice. Part of me was hoping I wouldn't need to, that Bella would be home before she even knew she was missing. I can't risk her finding out by some other means; Bella would want me to tell Alice.

Moving away from the window, I reach for Bella's cell phone. With trembling fingers, I dial Alice's number.

She answers on the first ring. "Hello?"

I don't want to do this, but… "Hi, Alice. Do you think you could come over?"

"What's wrong?" Her voice is sharp, concerned.

"I'd rather tell you in person."

"Edward, you're scaring me."

I sigh and answer, "I'm sorry, Alice, but—but…" My voice breaks, and I have to clear my throat. "Do you remember Mike? Did Bella tell you about him?"

"Yes," she replies warily. "What about him?"

"He—he kidnapped Bella." My throat constricts and I find it difficult to breathe.

"_What?_" she shrieks. "What do you mean? How is that possible?"

I sense Alice is seconds from tears, so I plow through the details, trying to comfort as well as inform. I feel terrible; I know the girls are all each other has had for so long.

"I'm sorry I waited so long to call you, Alice. I really hoped she'd be home by now."

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Not unless you know something that could help shed some light on where he might have taken her."

"Well…," my heart lifts, "no, I don't think so." Alice sounds apologetic.

Ignoring the sinking feeling in my chest, I assure her it's alright. I knew it was a long shot. I hear a bit of commotion on the other end of the line and realize Jasper must have just come in. She apologizes again before we say goodbye, and I promise to keep her updated as soon as any new information becomes available.

It dawns on me to call Emmett, but I don't have the strength or desire to go over all of the day's horrors again. I know he would be here in a flash, most likely with Rose on his heels, food in hand. I just can't bring myself to go through it again.

Flopping down onto the couch, I drop the cell phone onto the coffee table and pick up the TV remote. I flip through the channels, looking for something to occupy my time, to distract me, but it doesn't work. The colors and sounds blur in my exhausted mind, and I eventually drift into a restless sleep.

A loud _thump_ outside the door thrusts me into awareness, and I shove myself off the couch, knocking the remote to the floor, stumbling through the living room. Reaching the entryway, I twist the doorknob, and wrench the door from its frame.

At first I think it's some sort of joke, because I don't immediately see anyone, but then a moan calls my attention to the floor. A small, curled figure is slumped at my feet, dark hair fanning out around her delicate face. She's still wearing the same t-shirt and jeans she had on this morning; the clothes are now filthy and torn in places, and a lump lodges itself in my throat.

"Oh, Bella!"

Dropping to my knees, I pull her into my chest. She's barely conscious, her limbs flapping against me; it seems like she's been drugged. There's dried blood on her face, bruises pepper her pale skin, and her eyes are closed. Cradling her in my arms, I stand on my feet to bring her inside.

"Bella, baby? Honey, please, answer me." Tears stream down my face, burning hot trails all the way down my neck and into my shirt. I carry her to the couch, nudging the light switch as I go. Light floods the room, and Bella burrows into me, hiding her face, her hands gripping anything on my body she's able to grasp.

"Ed…ward…," she mumbles, her breath seeping between the fibers of my t-shirt.

"I'm here, Bella. I'm here. Please, open your eyes. Look at me, Bella," I command her gently, pulling her fingers from my clothing. "You've got to talk to me."

"So tired," she whispers. "Had to see," she pauses for a moment, "you. Love you…so much." Her eyes, her beautiful, chocolate-brown eyes open and focus on mine intently.

"You will never leave my sight again – and that's a promise!" I insist fervently, pulling her against me once more. "Honey, I need to call an ambulance; you need to be seen by a doctor."

Her eyes widen, and she grabs wildly at my shirt. "No, don't leave me! Please?" she asks, fear blatant on her face.

"I'll be with you the whole time, okay?" I reach behind me to grab the phone. I dial quickly and run my fingers all over Bella's face, pushing her hair behind her ears, gently touching her lips, just for the sake of feeling her.

An operator answers and I relay our emergency before hanging up and dialing the police. They agree to meet us at the hospital to get Bella's statement.

"Yes, we'll see you there, officer," I answer before snapping the phone shut.

I can already hear sirens in the distance, so I gently lay Bella back against the cushions to slip into my shoes. Without bothering to check a mirror, I run my fingers through my hair a few times and return to Bella's side. Moments later there is a knock at the door. I admit the paramedics into our apartment and lock up behind us when they've secured the precious cargo.

As they wheel her into the elevator, Bella calls out in a voice a bit stronger than before, "Edward."

One of the paramedics slides to the side to allow me access to the head of Bella's gurney.

"Right here, Bells, right here. I'm not going anywhere," I reassure her, brushing her hair back.

Her eyes bore into mine, a flurry of emotions evident in their depths: relief, fear, worry, happiness, hope, and love. Gently I smooth my hand against her cheek, and I softly press my lips to her forehead. _I want to chase away your fears. I want to make you smile and laugh. I want to make you happy…forever._ _I'm going to marry you, Bella Swan._


	21. Chapter 20

**By now you all know, I do not own Twilight. Lord, I wish I did, though... *sigh***

**Red**, thank you so much for putting up with my shit. You are the best beta a talentless hack like me could hope for. LOL I love you. :)

There are three girls I couldn't live my life without, and they know who they are. Flove you.

Well, you beautiful, amazing readers of mine, I really hope this was well worth the wait. I love y'all hard. **  
**

Chapter Twenty – BPOV

With a quiet _whoosh_, the elevator doors slide shut at my feet. The resulting puff of air swirls about my ankles, raising goose bumps across my skin. I shudder involuntarily.

"Are you okay, love?" Edward asks, his eyes red-rimmed and bright, and he stumbles over himself, rambling, "I mean, I know you're not _okay_, but I just meant to ask why you're shivering."

Unable to speak through my puffy lips, I nod as best as I'm able. The movement sends a shooting pain through my cerebrum. I don't think I've ever experienced a worse headache. A tear trickles down my cheek, over my swollen face.

All the while, the pair of paramedics fusses over my aching body. I don't pay them much attention, focusing instead on the bald fear emanating from Edward.

His large hand reaches out to gently brush away the tear drifting over my temple. "Don't cry, baby girl. They're going to make you all better." He chokes on the last word before bending down to whisper in my ear, "I thought I'd lost you," and tears from his brilliant green eyes leak into my matted hair, wetting my scalp.

I turn my head a fraction to get a better look at him, wanting to ease his fears, and I try to reach my hand out to him, but I can't. The muscles in my arms pinch painfully when I try to jerk my hand again.

"_Ow!_ Damn it! Shit!" I cry, falling back against the gurney, my arms locked in place against the cold metal bars. Panic wells in my belly, clenching my muscles, forcing bile into the back of my throat. I tug at the restraints, my breathing rapidly increasing. With my neck secured, I wasn't able to see what they were doing. _A little forewarning would have been nice. _

"Miss, please don't fight us, we're only trying to help," a paramedic—Sam, according to his nametag—says as he checks the bindings at my wrists and tightens some around my legs. "You've got to hold still until we can assess your injuries. And if you don't stop pulling, I'll have to sedate you. "

"What? _Why?_" I ask, feeling the hysteria flood my veins, and the elevator _bings_ our arrival at the ground level.

The doors open and Sam's face leaves my vision. "Just let us do our job. I know it's scary-"

"_Scary_?" I screech, my anger suddenly at boiling point. "You've got no inkling, asshole!"

"Bella, please… You're alright; they know what they're doing," Edward tries to calm me, but to no avail.

"Get the fucking restraints off me _now_!" My heart races, and blood pounds at my temples. I start to sob. "Edward…Edward, please, make them stop."

His large hands stroke my face, smoothing away my tears with some difficulty, while we rush through the lobby and onto the sidewalk. The streetlights shine behind him, bestowing him with a bright halo. In contrast with the dark sky, the illusion of Edward on my eyes is nearly blinding.

"Bella, look at me. Keep your eyes on mine."

My drowning eyes find his glistening emeralds, and I exhale a large gust of breath I didn't realize I was holding in. Given everything going on around me, I feel an innate sense of calm radiating through Edward and into me. Reaching the ambulance, I feel a sharp pinch, a pinprick, in my thigh. It burns, and I try to turn my head, but Edward holds my face still, murmuring words of comfort to me, his warm breath falling over my skin. My tense limbs suddenly feel light and non-existent.

"Ebwarb," I mumble, "my eyes are tireb," and my lids slide closed over my pupils, blocking out the interior roof of the ambulance. I melt into the gurney, completely at ease with the world.

*O*O*

"The doctors said no visitors today, but you're more than welcome to come tomorrow, barring any unforeseen complications." A deep voice cracks on the last word. "No, she hasn't." He pauses. "Yes, of course I will. Oh, wait, I think she's waking up. I'll call you if anything changes. I will. Bye." Another pause. "Bella? Baby? Are you awake?"

Soft footfalls approach, and I struggle to lift my eyelids. Glimpsing a blurred face through my lashes, a rush of panic surges through me, and I try to scream. Nothing but a scratchy croak emerges; my throat is so dry.

Cool fingers brush my forehead, pushing back errant strands of hair. "Shhh, it's okay," the voice croons, "I'm not going anywhere. Would you like some water?"

I relax immediately; I know that voice, even through the ringing in my ears, but I need to see his face. Rapidly I close and open my eyes, trying to clear the mucus from my goopy orbs. Slowly, his chiseled face, with stubble covering its chin, bright green eyes, and cautious smile become clearer. Unable to explain to Edward how parched I am, I gesture toward my neck with leaden arms.

With a knowing smile, he lifts a Styrofoam cup with a straw to my lips and I sip greedily, pulling in as much as I can swallow without choking. The ice cold fluid passes over my tongue and down my esophagus, soothing the aching dryness. When I've had my fill, I rest my head back against the pillows.

"I'm sorry…if I scared you," I tell him, my voice sounding as though I've been asleep for six months. I cough and clear my throat before I continue. "My ears are ringing, so I didn't realize it was you at first. Who were you talking to on the phone?" I ask as the pressure in my ears subsides slightly, relieving me of the consistent ringing.

"Huh?" he replies distractedly. "Oh, it was Rose. She and Emmett want to visit, but the doctors said no one but me today." I open my mouth, but Edward stops me and says, "I already spoke with Alice. She said to tell you she'll see you as soon as they'll let her in tomorrow." I smile, glad he's able to read my thoughts so well. "Are you in any pain, love?"

"Not really. I feel kind of…puffy." The hurts are muted, throbbing, but not unbearable. My right eye isn't quite able to open fully, and my cheekbone is obscuring my eyesight. Glancing at my fingers, I notice how swollen and bruised they are; I flinch.

Following my gaze, Edward speaks up quietly, in a controlled voice. "It looks like you fought with him."

I nod slightly and watch as a stray tear leaks from the corner of his eyes and trails down his cheek. "Don't cry," I whisper, fighting back hysterics. "I'm home now. Home…with you, with the man," I choke, "who gave me a reason to fight him, to fight my—my _kidnapper_." A wealth of emotions render me mute, save for the sobs wracking my chest.

Edward rests his weight gently on the side of my bed, cocking himself on his hip so he can wrap his arms around my shoulders. I fall into him, feeling the pull of an IV on the top of my hand. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck and whimper.

He pulls back, keeping his grip on my shoulders, to look into my eyes. "Oh, sweet girl, I've never been so scared in all my life. When I found you at our door, I was relieved and horrified, and I came to a huge realization. I don't know—"

"You're awake," interrupts a kind-faced nurse who comes bustling in the door. "How're you feeling, dear?"

Edward slips from the bed, stepping back to give the nurse room; I instantly long for his touch, his warmth, his comfort.

Dragging my eyes from him, I focus on the nurse and her question.

"I'm a little sore, but I guess that's to be expected after someone drugs you and slaps your face with a pistol," I reply sardonically.

A little taken aback, the nurse—Carmen—drops her jaw and stares for a moment before catching herself and showing me where the button for the pain med release is.

I feel a flush climb my cheeks. I didn't mean to be so blunt, but her chipper attitude was grating my nerves. I'm overly emotional as it is without her acting like I'm here for a spa treatment after everything that has happened. Still, I know she meant no harm. I'm so embarrassed by my words, when Carmen informs me Dr. Masen will be coming to check up on me, not that I know who Dr. Masen is, I merely nod, closemouthed and avoiding her gaze. She says she'll be back to check on me and not to hesitate calling her if I need her. "I'll see you soon."

Listening to Carmen's soft-soled retreat, I sink further into my pillows in the hopes I'll disappear through the mattress and into a hole. No matter what I've been through, it doesn't give me the excuse to be horrible to people helping me. I sigh and moan, tossing an arm over my eyes. The cold tubing from the IV trails along my skin, sending chills down my spine.

Long, cool fingers wrap around my wrist and gently peel my limb from my face. Worried oceans bore into my own shitty pools, indecision and apprehension clear within the former.

My skin burns with mortification, and I grumble, "How horrible am I?"

A light chuckle softens a few lines from Edward's brow. "Darling, you amaze me. You've just been kidnapped, drugged, and apparently beaten, and you're worried about how you're behaving?" He shakes his head with a humorless laugh. "Quite frankly, I'm kind of waiting for you to break down." I glare and open my mouth to refute, but he stops me with an upraised hand. "Please, don't be offended, Bella, but that's what Dr. Masen told me to expect."

Frowning, I think about what he said. I'm not sure I like this Dr. Masen. He doesn't know me; how dare he make assumptions on my behalf. Irrational anger burns beneath the surface, and I twist my fingers into the sheets, glaring at a point on the wall behind Edward's beautiful face. I suppose I am breaking down in a way. My outbursts of aberrant anger could be viewed as such.

"They need a new decorator for this hospital," I say matter-of-factly, attempting to change the subject. "Why does every medical facility have to be full of muted peaches and dusty powdered blues? It's not 1990 anymore."

This induces a full laugh from him. "Only you would be concerned with the décor, my lovely girl."

"If I _wasn't_ thinking about that kind of thing, you would need to be more worried." I reach up to pull him down for a soft kiss, determined to completely sway our conversation. I place my fingers in his palms and he holds them softly, minding my damaged knuckles. I pluck gently at his lips, ignoring the slight puffiness left on mine. "What…time…is…it?" I ask between kisses.

Leaning back, but keeping his grip on my hands, Edward replies, "It's nearly dinnertime. You've been out since about eleven last night."

Surprise colors my tone. "Why did you let me sleep so long?"

"You needed it. Besides, they gave you quite a few different medications."

With a sigh, I ask, "How long until I can go home?"

"Well, Dr. Masen was running a few blood tests to determine exactly what Mike gave you. He hasn't been back in a while, but he wouldn't give me specifics. I'm your emergency contact, but we're not married or related, so they won't share anything else with me." Edward has a hard time hiding his irritation.

"That's stupid of them." I roll my eyes and a shooting pain pinches my optical nerve, radiating through my brain. "Oh, my head! I think I need to push that magical little button the nurse showed me." I grapple through my sheets, pulling on the cord closest to me only to be unpleasantly surprised by a tug on my urethra. "Oh my God!" I wriggle. "What the hell?"

"What's wrong?" he asks, unaware of my current dilemma.

"Um, I just pulled on something attached to my crotch. Where's my pain button?"

Edward laughs quietly and points to the device hanging on the rail of my bed.

Being the epitome of maturity, I stick out my tongue and push the button. His chest shakes with silent laughter, which I choose to ignore, and I lie back, waiting for the drugs to invade my bloodstream. Edward drops a kiss on my forehead and pulls a chair closer to my bed so he can hold my hand. His fingers lightly trace mindless patterns over my bruised knuckles, and I revel in the tingles shooting up my arm, tingles which have nothing at all to do with the narcotics flowing freely through me. He leans forward to place his lips on a particularly bruised portion of my fist; the moisture from his slightly parted lips heats my skin and tightens my loins in response. _Amazing_. Even in a drug-induced state Edward makes my blood boil. I shake my increasingly heavy head slowly, keeping my eyes locked on his lips. I want to kiss them, to lick them, to suck them. My thoughts blur, as does my eyesight, as the medication begins to take effect.

"You—you're pretty," I mumble drunkenly.

His grin widens and he responds with, "No, you are."

Rather than argue, I nod my head once and fall into a peaceful abyss, my hand gripped by Edward's, his long fingers rubbing my skin.

O*o*O

I part my eyelids to sunlight pouring into my sterile room, softening the harsh décor. I yawn and stretch, feeling the somewhat lessened pain in my body. I watch microscopic bits of dust float through air, swirling about until Edward snores lightly on a couch-turned-bed beside me, drawing my attention and focus wholly upon him.

The sight of his long frame sprawled out on the cot brings a smile to my face, which is quickly replaced with a frown as I look closer. The sallow tinge to his skin doesn't escape my notice, nor do the purple shadows beneath his lower lashes. He's not taking care of himself, because he's been too anxious with my wellbeing.

All because I acted rash, overconfident, foolhardy. Because I thought I could handle it myself. Because I just can't let go. It's harder than I thought to give myself, my whole _self,_ to someone and trust in that person completely. The logical part of my brain told me to get Edward, to have him call the police, but the remaining vestiges of inner bitch were fighting the restraints I had thought were firmly in place. For the last few months I've turned to him without a second thought, but one look at Jake and all that time was erased. My only thought was to deal with him myself, as though _I_ was the only one who could solve the problem. _Obviously,_ I think wryly, _I was wrong_. Hence the kidnapping, drugging, pistol whipping…

I sigh, dreading what I know _has_ to be coming, something that hasn't occurred to me until this point. I haven't seen one police officer since I woke last night. I've watched enough _Law & Order_ to know they're probably pacing outside my door, waiting to squeeze every bit of information they can get from me. Yet, miraculously, I've not been interviewed. I'm not really sure I'm ready to relive my time at Mike's cabin. A shiver crawls down my spine as I glare out the window, not seeing anything but a squalid room, bare of much but dust. A cold sweat beads on my forehead.

Suddenly my body is shaking, jolting me out of my reverie.

"Bella? Hey, hello?" Edward's voice thrusts me into realty, pulling me back from the hideous nightmare I will forever be subjected to.

"Yeah, hey, I'm sorry," I reply, still trembling despite the fact his hands are no longer in contact with me. "I guess I was daydreaming."

"I saw the look on your face; that must've been the most disturbing daydream ever dreamed."

"Well, I'm kind of dreading the conversation with the cops. I don't really want to rehash my little…vacation."

"How do you…?"

I cut him off, feeling somewhat perturbed that he would think me so naïve. "Edward, I'm not some ingénue; I'm a smart enough girl to know the police will want to go over every little detail, no matter how little I want to do it."

"I didn't mean to imply-" he starts.

"I know you didn't," I say, brushing off his comment. I know he's worried. "I'm just trying to be a realist." I flap a hand at him. "You may as well bring them in. Let's get this over with."

Apparently he's not satisfied with my interpretation of his words. "Bella, listen to me a second. I was just trying to ask you how you do it. How do you exert this calmness, this sense of control, despite everything you've been through?"

I blush and reply without giving it a second thought. "To me there are only two ways to come out of a tragedy: a victim or a survivor. I made my choice the day I moved into the Black household – I would _not_ be a victim. I would make it out of there a stronger person. Alice helped me achieve that goal in a way I never thought was possible. I refuse to let anyone push me around; that's not who I am…now." I take a deep breath, feeling red flame in my cheeks and I plow on, knowing I won't be able to rest until he knows everything. "Edward, I made a huge mistake in not putting my faith in you. Almost as though you couldn't handle the situation. It's ridiculous, really. How many times have you told me you'll protect me? How many times have you proven exactly just that? It didn't matter. I saw Jacob's face and I just…just lost it. I think I even thought something along the lines of sparing you so you wouldn't have to deal with it, like you'd ever have it any other way." I stare into his eyes, hoping he understands what I'm trying to say, and just in case he doesn't, "I owe you an apology."

Feeling embarrassed by the choking feeling in the back of my throat. I look down, not wanting to show him my tears given my little speech about being strong. Talk about an oxymoron. Jeez.

His strong hands graze my cheeks gently, as though they're the most delicate flower petals, lifting my face to gaze into my eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm just so happy you're alive, even if you do have some things to work on." He winks and presses his lips to mine, which aren't swollen anymore, kissing me with abandon.

I can't deny the stinging pain at the cuts on my cheek, but I'm really too wrapped up in Edward to care. He caresses my lips with the perfect combination of passion and tenderness, until I feel myself trembling once more.

A knock on the door separates us as quickly as guilty adolescents, each of us with a huge smile on our face.

Without waiting for someone to answer, the door swings open, admitting a tall, stern-faced man in a white lab coat. "Hello there, Miss Swan. I'm Dr. Masen." His voice is friendly, and a complete contrast to his looks.

As Dr. Masen breezes into the room, Edward steps back to vacate my bedside, giving him space to flash a small light into my eyes and press his fingertips lightly over my bruised face.

"Well, dear, it appears as though you're healing quite nicely. I'm glad the swelling has gone down, but I'm afraid it will be awhile before your pretty colors fade." He smiles kindly. "Also, as I'm sure you know, there are some gentlemen outside who'd like to speak with you. Will that be alright?"

I nod, keeping my eyes on the tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed man, feeling anxious all over again. "B-b-but only if Edward can stay," I stutter.

Dr. Masen gives me a thoughtful frown. "Well, I don't think that should matter. But I have some test results I'd like to go over with you first, if you don't mind."

"Test results?"

"Yes, and I'm assuming since you'd like your…Edward," he fumbles over the decision to place the wrong title, "to stay for police questioning, it's alright for him to be here for those as well." He looks at me, waiting for my approval, which I give without delay.

"Of course he can," I insist. "I have nothing to hide from him."

"Well, okay then." He smiles and watches Edward walk around the bed to hold my hand. He's been silently moving to my other side during our conversation. "Miss Swan," he starts, "I ran a number of blood tests upon your admittance, testing for different drugs which could have a lasting impact on your health, and while most of those came back as expected, there was one whose results will most definitely have a lasting effect."

Edward's fingers clench mine, and I feel all of the blood drain my face. I whisper, "What is it? What did he do to me?"

The doctor's eyes gauge my reaction curiously and he replies, "You're pregnant."

**A/N:** Yes, some of you guessed it. Now, let me know what you think of it, if you've got a second or two to spare... ;)

Also, I have a Facebook page now! It's just for fun, you know, if you like that sort of thing. *wink* Feel free to add me! It's: JustineNicole FanFiction - real original, I know.


	22. Chapter 21

**Stephenie Meyer owns anything resembling Twilight. I just play with the characters. Oh, that sounds naughty.**

A huge thank you goes to my beloved Red. Without her, I would most likely hide in a corner, scared and biting my nails. Love you so much, pretty girl.

I have a little cheerleading section who gets me through the rough spots, and I love them forever. You three know who you are. :-*

Jessy, my lovely girl, I hope you enjoy this.

**Chapter Twenty-One – BPOV **

"I'm _what_?" I ask incredulously. "That's not possible. No."

The doctor raises an eyebrow. "You're telling me you haven't had sexual intercourse in the last month or so?"

I blush furiously, feeling the color flood my face in a rush. "Well, of course I have, but I can't be pregnant."

"I don't know what to tell you, Miss Swan, other than you are indeed pregnant." A smug smile lifts his cheeks slightly, relaxing some of his natural sternness.

Edward stands frozen at my bedside; he hasn't spoken one word since the doctor uttered that tiny phrase. I can't look at him. I'm suddenly afraid of his reaction. We talked about kids, sure, but it's never been a definite thing, and it was always adoption if we decided to have them.

Against my better judgment, I glance at Edward, scared of what I'll find, but I am surprised to find a look of complete wonderment in his eyes. A single tear falls over his lashes, drips down his cheek, and falls to the ground, catching a ray of sunlight and sending a small rainbow shooting across his pant legs before it splashes noiselessly on the floor. I fix my eyes to that spot, unsure of what I'm feeling, let alone what Edward's feeling.

Dr. Masen hasn't said another word, but I see him shifting somewhat uncomfortably in my peripheral vision. Obviously Edward notices the same thing, because his voice cuts through the heavy silence.

"Um…" he begins uncertainly. "Is there any way we can push back Bella's interview? I think we need a moment to ourselves. This is a little bit overwhelming."

_Overwhelming?_ More like fucking insane. I feel chagrined at my harsh language in reference to a pregnancy—_my_ pregnancy—but it's just so unbelievable it doesn't seem real.

I hear Dr. Masen's soft reply as he leaves the room, but I can't make out his words. So many things are falling into place, different symptoms over the last few weeks, things I should have recognized.

Another part of my brain argues. _But why would I? It's not like I knew it could happen. _

My hands fall to my belly, still flat, in complete disbelief. I close my eyes, feeling the familiar burn of threatening tears. I have long since written off any hope of having children. I knew it wasn't in the cards, not in the natural way anyway. And now here's this doctor telling me something I believed, this one thing I was _certain_ of, is wrong. But still, it's a baby. _A baby!_ I open my eyes, staring down at my abdomen in wonder.

"Bella?" Edward's voice cuts through my inner monologue. "Honey, are you alright?"

"Huh?" I look up from my stomach to his concerned face.

He steps next to my bed slowly—one step, pause; one step, pause—until he's standing next to me, taking my hands in his. A look of intense concentration furrows his brow. I don't know what to say, what to do. I feel like my world's been turned upside down. And really, it has, but in the best of ways.

"Are you okay with this? Having a baby…with me?" His tone belies his steady grip on my hands; he sounds so nervous, and I suddenly feel incredibly selfish.

I draw myself up on my knees, somewhat clumsily, so I can be as close to face-to-face with Edward as I can be without him lifting me up. I rest my hands on either side of his scruffy face and look deep into his eyes, feeling my IV trailing down my arm. "I love you so much, and I can't imagine anyone in this world I'd rather have a child with. Listen, Edward." I kiss his lips gently. "I was convinced there was a reason I couldn't have children. That for some reason I _shouldn't_ have them, but now it kind of makes sense. It's _you_. You make all the difference. Look how much you've changed me. I'm practically unrecognizable to the woman I was just a half a year ago, and I have you to thank for that. You pulled me out of the horrible cycle I was in, and you showed me I was someone worth loving, and that I have something to give, other than in a physical sense. You want to know if I want to have a baby with you?" He nods between my hands. "Yes, I want to have a baby with you, more than anything."

Strong arms wrap around my waist, squeezing me tightly, and I can feel a few stray tears soak into my hair. "I'm so glad to hear you say that. Oh, baby, I love you so much."

I pull back with a giggle, feeling like a whole new person. "Are you referring to me or your child?" _Your child._ _Wow_.

"Both of you," he says with a grin. "Now, how about we get you back into bed? You've got to be tired."

"I should be, but I'm not. I feel wired," I tell him honestly. There is an odd energy flowing through me, and despite everything I've been through, I want to celebrate. I want to call Alice and Rose and… My thought halts there as I grab a small basin from my bedside to vomit inside.

Edward's terrified voice cuts through the sudden ringing in my ears. "Bella! Are you alright? Do you want me to call the doctor?"

When I stop heaving, I answer hoarsely, "No, but maybe the nurse wouldn't be a bad idea." I clear my throat and taste the vile flavor on my tongue. "I'd really like to brush my teeth." I shove the plastic container to the end of my bed and throw my blanket over it, revealing the lower half of my body and the catheter tube poking out from the bottom of my gown. "And I want that thing gone."

He chuckles at my glare and drops a kiss on my forehead, realizing there's nothing more than pregnancy making me sick. "I guess this is something we have to look forward to in the coming months, huh? I'm going to run out and see who I can find."

"Why don't we just push the button?" I lift an eyebrow, not really wanting him out of my sight.

"Well, I have to use the restroom myself," he says with another laugh.

"Hurry back. I'll miss you."

"I will, little mama." Edward squeezes my shoulder and leaves the room.

I can't help but smile as I lie back, carefully staring at the ceiling. I might hurl again if I so much as see that bowl.

It's hard to believe less than forty-eight hours ago I was being kidnapped and thinking my life was about to be over. I can hardly think about that now. I'm so elated with this current turn of events. In eight months time, I'm going to be a mother, and I'll be the best mother there ever was. Edward will be such a great father…

My door cracks open and I grin. "Jeez, you can't leave me alone for two minutes?" Glancing at the door, my lightheartedness deflates faster than a pinpricked balloon. That's not Edward.

"Miss Swan, may we have a moment?" a man in a crisp officer's uniform asks.

I feel my face drain of all blood, and my mouth become as parched as the Sahara. I stare blankly at the tall, russet skinned man, unable to answer. He reminds me of Jake, and it sends a chill down my spine.

"You are Miss Swan, aren't you? Isabella Swan?" he continues, looking me up and down while I nod. He pauses, appraising my face with his dark eyes. "I'm sorry, but are you feeling alright?"

I shake my head and mouth, "_No_."

"Excuse me. What is going on in here?" Carmen is back.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see her, and close behind her is Edward.

The policeman doesn't seem quite as encouraged by their appearance as I do, especially when he takes in the look on Edward's face. "I'm interviewing Miss Swan. We really need to get this taken care of."

Edward interjects, "Can't it wait? I mean the poor girl just got—"

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. "No, he's right," I say, finally finding my voice. "I really need to tell you what happened." I steel myself for the onslaught of unpleasant memories I've thus far been pretty good at keeping in. It's time for me to put off my excitement and anchor myself to the harsher reality. _It's only temporary_, I think. _Soon I can sit and float in my happiness._

The man introduces himself as Officer Call, and I focus on keeping myself calm while the nurse shoos him from the room for a moment while she cleans my bedding and removes my catheter. After I brush my teeth – under my own steam – I get settled into my fresh sheets while Edward pulls his chair closer to my side.

"Are you sure?" he asks, brushing his finger along my cheek.

I turn to kiss his palm and give him the most reassuring smile I can muster. "Yes, I'm sure. When all of this is past, we can focus on _us_, and on our future."

He nods as Officer Call walks in. Carmen follows him with a clearly disapproving glare. She stands near the door, keeping a watchful eye on the room.

Edward squeezes my fingers while Officer Call explains his need to record our conversation. I sign a piece of paper giving my consent, and the tall, dark man murmurs a few quiet words into the small piece of equipment. He turns his eyes on me and says, "Miss Swan, your doctor has insisted a nurse be present. Is this okay with you?" I nod. "Alright, then, whenever you're ready, please begin."

I take a deep breath, letting the oxygen fill my lungs in a wonderfully life-affirming way and let it out slowly. "I saw Mike standing there, right outside of our apartment, and he was talking to someone, gesturing wildly. The other person was hidden from my view, so I couldn't tell who it was. Then he moved. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Jake, Jacob Black, standing there, arguing with Mike, and I snapped." I pause to look apologetically at Edward. "As bad as it was to see Mike, I was out of my mind at the thought of Jake being so close to my home. I couldn't think of anything but making him pay for all of the pain he put me through. It was stupid, I know. But I couldn't stop." I run quickly through the next several minutes, up to when Mike grabbed me from behind, stuck me with a needle, and dragged me to his van.

"What happened after he abducted you?" Officer Call's voice is quiet, but insistent.

"I blacked out almost as soon as I hit the floor. The next thing I knew I was in a dusty room, in a cabin out in the woods." I relay the details in a haze, choking when I get up to the point of being on the receiving end of Mike's pistol. I can't bring myself to look at Edward, but his short breaths tell me how hard this is for him to hear. "He was aiming at me, but he was drunk, so it was wobbling all over. I never thought I'd make it out of there alive. He kept mumbling to himself, saying things that didn't make sense, something about nobody having me if he couldn't." Tears drip silently down my cheeks, but I keep my voice steady. "I kept throwing up, and it distracted him just enough where I could grab the gun out of his hand. I don't know what came over me, but I just lunged. We wrestled, and he kept hitting me and slapping me, but I managed to knock the gun under the bed, out his reach. He became irate, screaming at me, and he kicked me to the floor. I saw him unbuckle his pants, so I curled onto my side, trying to stay away from him."

I pause to calm myself. Looking over at Edward I see his hands are clenched so tightly his knuckles are white. I can hear his teeth grinding together. I close my eyes and prepare to tell the rest of my nightmare.

"I was terrified he'd rape me, but I glanced over and saw the gun. It was just out of my reach. Mike was panting heavily, and he fell to his knees, completely exposed from the waist down. He started grappling at my hips and legs, trying to remove my pants, so I flung myself forward and got a hold of the pistol. Without even thinking…" I gulp. "I pulled the trigger."

I stop as three separate gasps sound collectively.

Edward's arms are around me before I can inhale. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry." His voice dissolves into quiet indiscernible mumblings.

I look up to see Carmen, trembling, with tears dripping down her cheeks; and the cop looks at me with searching eyes, seeking an answer to his unasked question.

Gently, I push Edward back and shake my head at Officer Call. "I didn't kill him, if that's what you're wondering. I grazed his arm, but it was enough to scare him off of me. I used the gun to make my escape, threatening him with it while I ran out of the room. I grabbed the keys and got out of there as fast as I could. By the time I made it home, it was just too much, and I started to pass out just as I was getting off the elevator." I look into Edward's eyes. "And that's when my boyfriend found me."

"Thank you, Miss Swan. We should be able to corroborate your story fairly easily. We have eyewitnesses from the scene of your kidnapping, and with all of your injuries and reports from the medical staff here, we've as good as got him put away for a long time."

My voice raises an octave. "You caught him?"

"Well, no," he answers, apology filling his tone, "but we're close. The vehicle was registered to him, and we've got officers at his house, looking for clues."

"I don't think he'll go home."

"I'm sorry?"

"I can show you to his cabin."

"Bells, no!" Edward jumps to his feet, terror on his face. "You can't go back there!"

"Edward, how else are they supposed to find it? What if he finds me first? Are you willing to take that chance? Because I'm not," I tell him angrily.

"Of course that's not what I meant, but be reasonable; you haven't even been released from the hospital yet."

"I can leave right now if I want, and it just so happens I do."

Growling, he turns and storms out of the room, scaring poor Carmen closer to the bed.

I do feel somewhat guilty for upsetting him, but I am beyond ready for this whole thing to be over. I want to live my life without fear or doubt.

"Officer Call, would you be so kind as to give me a minute? I'd like to get dressed now."

*O*o*O*

Filled with a new determination, and a touch of horror and déjà vu, I point out directions from the backseat of a police cruiser. Edward is beside me, gripping my fingers almost painfully.

A thought strikes me as we make our way through the winding roads, driving deeper into the forest. "Wait, Officer Call? What about Jake? Did you catch him?"

Edward interrupts just as he opens his mouth, "Actually, Bella, he didn't really have anything to do with this, not directly anyway."

"What? But he was with Mike!"

I watch his expressions flow from anger to grudging acceptance as he explains the entire situation.

"Huh. I don't really know what to think. I mean, I knew he had a substance abuse problem, but I didn't realize it had become so bad." I sit back and mull over everything, occasionally pointing out a turn. It's kind of a relief to know I have nothing more to fear from him. I still want nothing to do with him, and I can't really say I _don't_ hate him, but I think I can move on now.

Edward watches me closely; I can feel the protectiveness oozing off him.

"Honey, it's alright," I say, feeling sure in my words as I rub my hand gently over my abdomen. "I don't know why, but I just know things are going to be okay."

"I wish I was as positive as you, my love." He kisses my fingers and looks out the window at the ever-thickening trees. "I'm still getting a protection order against him," he mutters.

I smile and pay closer attention to our surroundings. We're nearly there. "It's just up here. The house is about a half a mile down the driveway."

The trees are so dense and the road so remote there are no other cars or people to be seen.

When we reach the driveway, the small caravan of bulletproof-glass-windowed vehicles pulls to the side of the road, and into the ditch. Edward and I stay put as Officer Call slides his long frame out of the car to rendezvous with the other men and women. We watch as they confer, and part of their group splits off to slink through the woods, forming a long line in the trees. When he returns to the car, he tells us he's going to drive slowly, followed by a couple of other officers, down the drive.

The car starts forward and creeps down the lane until the cabin is in view. I shudder and sink into Edward's side. He wraps his arm tighter around me and we stare unblinkingly at the yard before us.

"Oh my god…" Officer Call's voice trails off just as we see Mike's lifeless body hanging limply from a tree.

I gasp and close my eyes, not wanting to see any of this.

The next minutes pass quickly, and yet, with the pace of dripping molasses.

The cops search the premises and find that Mike hung himself only a few hours ago. He left nothing behind, except for a sloppily written message in the dirt beneath his swaying feet.

_I'm sorry._

*O*o*O*

"I still can't believe it. Oh, Bella!" Alice wraps her arms around me, squeezing me until I feel like I might burst. "I'm so glad you're alright! I still have nightmares about it." She releases me and gives me an odd look before she kisses my cheek and skips off to sit on Jasper's lap.

I'm instantly wondering if she felt my slightly swollen belly. It's been nearly two months since I escaped with my life and discovered I was pregnant. We decided to wait until we were through with the first trimester before telling our friends, just for good luck.

"Well, it wasn't all bad," I say with a grin and a sidelong glance at Edward.

He nods at me from across the room, where he's pouring champagne for all of our friends. Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper all look at me with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Edward walks over, balancing a tray full of fluted stemware, to hand everyone their glass, a smile permanently etched on his handsome face.

I laugh and let them in on our little secret. "We're pregnant!"

Rosalie and Alice both squeal and pounce on me with tears streaming down their faces; and the guys both jump up to give Edward a hearty clap on the back.

"Oh, Bella, I am so happy for you!"

"Wow, Edward a dad! I can't believe it!"

"When are you due?" Rosalie asks excitedly. I can already see her planning a huge brunch in the baby's honor.

With a giggle, I tell them, "In mid-April."

"Wait? Are you guys going to get married before or after she's born?"

"Alice!" Jasper and Rose admonish at once.

I blush and look down. "Well, we haven't really talked about it yet. And besides," I say, trying to change the subject, "who says we're having a girl?"

"Actually," Edward says as he steps between our friends to kneel in front of me, "I was just waiting for the right time."

Everyone steps back in murmured awe, watching us both with expectant expressions.

"Edward?" I ask in quiet voice, suddenly feeling very shy.

"Bella, my love, my heart, soon-to-be mother of my child, I have been captivated by your very presence since the first day you bumped into me at _Glitz_. I couldn't stop thinking about you, but you didn't seem to care for me at all. Never in my life has anyone made me feel so frustrated and impassioned at the same time. You kept me on my toes; you kept me wondering, until that one day, that fateful, life-changing day, when you called me. You sounded so unsure, so scared – _you_, the most beautiful, confident woman I have ever known. And since then, every day has been better than the last…"

"_Kidnapped_," Emmett coughs loudly into his hand, and everyone laughs nervously.

"Well, almost every day," he amends. "Darling girl, even before we became a _we_, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life showing you how amazing you are. So I want to ask you, in front of our family, will you marry me?"

My heart is in my chest, fluttering wildly as he pulls a small black box from his pocket and opens it slowly. I stare at the ring; a large, round sapphire, flanked by matching set of round-cut diamonds. Sudden sunlight breaks through the clouds, shining into our living room. The light reflects from the stones, sending tiny rainbows over the most beautiful face I have ever seen. Tears stream down my face, for what feels like the thousandth time this year, and I whisper, "Yes."

Edward slips the gorgeous ring on my finger and scoops me up off the couch, pressing his lips to mine in the most heart-stopping, breathtaking kiss I've ever experienced.

We break apart and he lays his hands gently against my stomach, running his fingers over our growing child.

Alice speaks up in a teary voice, raising her glass to the ceiling. "To Edward and Bella!"

A small chorus of "Edward and Bella!" rings around us, followed by the sound of tinkling crystal. It resonates deep within me, each separate note flowing through my soul. This is the start of our forever, our beautiful, brilliant forever.

The End

**A/N:** Thank you so much for reading, for sticking with me for the past…well, more than a year. I hope you liked the end of my little ride. Let me know what you think!

Also, I've been thinking about an epilogue. I might do it, if y'all wanna see the wedding or the baby, anyway. ;)


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